Journal of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (JMI - York University)

Toepell, Andrea Riesch

Book Reviews 
lactational states affect the normalization of maternal behaviour, she under- 
mines biological determinism by exploring the meanings that are socially 
imputed to such factors. In so doing, she casts considerable light on "why 
mothers experience significant stress in entering a role considered to be'natural' 
for them." 
But although this book begins with the wholehearted conviction that the 
sociological influences on parenting are generally "underrated," it ends with the 
halfhearted notion that men and women "can try to make fair choices within a 
less than fair social context." Included in the final chapter is advice on how 
individuals can protect their relationships from the negative effects of stere- 
otyping. I appreciated the soundness of these suggestions; however, I expected 
greater discussion on what might be done collectively, rather than interperson- 
ally, to combat the increased gender differentiation that concurs with sexual 
reproduction. 
Nonetheless, this accessible study will be an eye-opener for many new 
mothers and fathers who unknowingly attempt to meet both the current 
demands of family l i f e such  as the need for a dual income-and the neo- 
Victorian expectations ofparenthood. As Walzeis analysis clearly shows, it is 
common for partners to profess that gender roles have changed and, at the same 
time, evaluate their own and their mate's parental conduct in terms of 
conservative cultural ideals. Thus, the model of the ever-present mother, who 
indefatigably devotes her physical, emotional, and mental energy to the well- 
being ofher children, prevails even when both partners are required to provide 
financially for the family. Such insights prompted me to recollect my own 
experiences as a new mother only to discover (to my chagrin) that I had 
internalized some ofthe same gendered cultural imagery as Walzer's interview- 
ees. Readers will undoubtedly find ThinkingAdoutthe Baby not only engrossing 
but also illuminating. 
In Her Mother's House: The Politics of Asian 
American Mother-Daughter Writing 
Wendy H o  
Oxford: Altamira Press, 1999 
Reviewed by Andrea Riesch Toepell 
In Her Mother's House, by Wendy Ho, is part of the Critical Perspectives on 
Asian Pacific Americans Series, published by AltaMira Press. There are five 
other titles in this series. 
In Her Mother's House is subtitled The Politics ofAsian American Mother- 
Daughter Writing. This is a good description of the fairly narrowfield covered 
250 1 Volume 2, Number 2 
Book Reviews 
by the book. The blurb on the back cover of the book says: '7n Her Mother's 
House brings Asian American women's experiences and standpoints, as moth- 
ers and daughters, to the forefront of racial-ethnic and gender debates," and this 
is certainly the case. 
The book begins with an apparently autobiographical chapter, describing 
the author, her mother, and grandmother in their private environment in 
Honolulu, Hawaii. Having set the stage for multigenerational mother-daugh- 
ter discourse, the author proceeds to an exhaustive academic analysis of three 
authors, Maxine Hong Kingston, Amy Tan, and Fae Myenne Ng, although 
numerous others are mentioned. 
The book presumes at least some familiaritywith the history of China and 
of Chinese immigration into the U.S.A., with general feminist knowledge, and 
with the peculiar dynamics of immigrant families in North America, specifi- 
cally the relationships between first- and second-generation immigrants. I n  
Her Mother's House provides some pointers on these issues, but mainly in the 
context of literary criticism. A reader must know that this is a book covering 
mother-daughter relationships, mostly in Chinese-American families, mostly 
as depicted by Lngston, Tan, and Ng, while engaging in polemics with other 
authors about Kingston's, Tan's, and Ng's writings. Considerable attention is 
also given to father-daughter relationships, in the same contexts. An interest- 
ing and exhaustive discussion is devoted to the concept of "talk-story", its use 
and interpretation by different authors and critics. 
I n  HerMotheri Houseconfines itselfto the analysis ofcertain literaryworks 
about mother-daughter relationships, among Americans of Chinese descent, 
who experience various conflicts and generational differences, and who use 
specific methods of communication (e.g. talk-story). However, it will be 
obvious to most readers that such difficulties are not unique to Chinese or Asian 
families. Geographical and social mobility and intergenerational differences 
are common experiences for many, if not most, people on this continent 
I n  Her Mother's House suffers from drawbacks not uncommon to other 
academic texts, namely logorrhea, thesaurus abuse, and excessive neologisms. 
Words often are used in their second or third meanings. A good example is 
consistent use of the word "engage" in the sense of to "engage the enemy's 
forces." Ho's writing style is uneven. Her book begins with a personal, almost 
poetic, well-written (if not to everyone's literary taste) autobiographical sec- 
tion, but the style soon writing becomes ponderous, jargon- and neologism- 
laden. 
Despite her book's difficult style, Wendy Ho obviously is an expert in her 
field. The author shows her erudition by frequently quoting from her extensive 
list ofreferences. This bookwill give a persevering reader the pleasure ofhaving 
come to understand a complex, if somewhat narrow, field. 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 251 


English

In Her Mother’s House: The Politics of Asian American Mother-Daughter Writing

PerrymanMark, Crystal’Aisha

Crystal'Aisha PerryrnanMark 
Resistance and Surrender 
Mothering Young, Black 
and Feminist 
Somethings are about Resistance 
and 
Somethings are about Surrender 
Speaking on Revolution 
and God 
Meditating on Fight and Spirit 
Waging battles in 
Mothering and Motherhood 
Each dealing in Sacrifice, 
All about Self- 
Confrontation 
Knowing that too 
Motherhood is a 
birthed institution 
Subverted by my Resistances 
but continued.. . . 
By my Surrender to its conventions. 
-Crystal'Aisha PerryrnanMark, 2000 
This article focuses on the experiences of resistance I myself have had as a 
young, Black, teenage mother; as well it explores some informal research I have 
been collecting on women of similar circumstance and social location mother- 
ingwithin the confines ofa racist, sexist, capitalist society. Over theyears, I have 
kept my eyes open and ear to the ground-listening, talking, and trying to 
understand Black mothering as an identity for myself and others. I t  has been 
my experience, and those with whom I have spoken, that we do not fit the 
130 1 Volume 2, Number2 
stereotype of the "uneducated, poor, Black, teenage welfare mother" that is 
often scapegoated by racist ideology that continues to permeate this society. I 
have discovered that the perpetuation of racist stereotypes, and our acceptance 
of and resistance to them, are players in the circumstances under which Black 
women are becoming mothers and choosing motherhood. Dealing with 
complex and intersecting social identities, Black mothers have had to face a 
paradox paradigm I have chosen to name "resistance and surrender." Through 
reading, hypothesis, observation, and inquiry into my peer group, I have come 
to find there are many similarities and differences that encompass the perspec- 
tive ofthe "Blackmothern-both from her own and the "otherized" gaze. With 
striking duality, feminism and traditionalism are combined to create the 
assertion that motherhood is our right. 
In Redefining Motherhood: Changing Identities and Patterns, Nina Lyon 
Jenkins (1998) discusses the disparity in research conducted primarily by men, 
both Black and white, who view Black teenage motherhood as deviant. Jenkins' 
counter-analysis of Black motherhood as not deviant, demonstrating that it is 
possible for us to create new analyses that are grounded in our experience, was 
one of the many factors that influenced me to delve into the common, yet 
varied, experience the Black woman/mother shares (1998: 209). I attempt to 
add to the research conducted by Jenkins in an effort to further broaden the 
discourse. I believe our voices, both scholarly and personal, add to the plethora 
we hope to establish, focusing and validating the lives of Black women. I'd like 
to relate my own experience and that of other women I spoke to, linking their 
experiences to a larger theme of resistance in a raced, gendered, and economi- 
cally oppressive society. 
I am 21 years old and I had my daughter three years ago when I was 18 and 
still finishing high school. Though I was encouraged to continue and finish, I 
felt there was a perception that I would become a "welfare mother" and a 
"crutch" on society. I believe that Blackwomen are seen by the public on whole 
as the largest group of (unwed) teenage mothers. Though I have not come 
across any research to suggest that this may be true, personal experience has 
afforded me a first-hand perspective of the distinct difference in the mother- 
hood experiences of Black and white women who have not yet reached the age 
of 19. Drawing fromwithin my community, I saw that there were roughly equal 
numbers of Black and white teenagers having children. However, I felt there 
was a stigma attached to being both Black and pregnant, a stigma that carried 
with it assumptions that Black women were more sexually "free" than white 
women, and that we would not succeed as far socially, educationally, or 
economically as our white counterparts. 
I was met with obstacles, hostility, and animosity when I pursued post- 
secondary education after having my child in OAC year. Though there was 
encouragement from a favourite teacher, many authority figures patronized me 
with a "you'll get through it" rhetoric, assuming that I could never be anything 
other than a highschool graduate. When I was actually admitted to a university 
Journa/ ofthe Association for Research on Mothering I 131 
Crystall'ha PerrymanMark and daughter. 
and began attending classes, many of the students and teachers I knew from my 
highschool couldn't belive it. My motherhood, then, has come not only as a 
vocation-raising my child as I do with my partner-but also a lifeline, a 
resistance, an activist work that may not be recognized on a large scale, but one 
that I do with all my heart, ensuring (in my own small way) that Black mothers 
are out putting an end to the "assumption of deviancen that, unfortunately, is 
often internalized by young, Black, and pregnant (single) women. I began 
talking out, asking questions, and relating my experience to others like me. 
Determined to resist racist, classist, and sexist ideology that I was not "good 
enough" because I was Black, poor, and now also a "teenage mother," I began 
to see motherhood as triumph of self-discovery and a chance to challenge 
people and systems in their beliefs. 
I spoke informally with seven young mothers whom I personally know, 
talking about the ways in which their mothering has been a resistance to the 
conventions of society-and, at times, a surrender. I found there was constant 
duality. The most reluctant position, but the most forthcoming perspective, 
was that mothering was an assertion of their womanhood. Mothering, not 
teenage pregnancy, but the actual raising of children, was an honour to them. 
132 1 Volume 2, Number 2 
Resistance and Surrender 
CystaL4isha PerryrnanMark, with herpartner and daughter. 
It created that bridge from girl to woman and from Black woman as Other to 
Mother. Becoming a mother puts them in a category where they find them- 
selves and an identity. Whether or not it is chosen, or wheher it is a construct 
of heterosexual hegemony, was left uncertain. There appeared to be a lack of a 
"sense of entitlement," as one woman put it, to womanhood and life in general. 
Becoming mothers thus affirmed their "womanhood." This was resistance to 
the confines of racist and sexist society wherein their "womanness" was not 
viewed on par with that ofwhite women. Implicitly, it was this traditionalview 
ofwomen's role as mother that empowered Black women into their woman- 
hood as a right. Their assertion harkened to Sojourner Truth's "A'int I a 
Woman?"-redefining the ideology of womanhood as commonly defined by 
white norms of femininity. While this was revolutionary, it was also problem- 
atic because such assumptions of womanhood equalling motherhood reverts 
back to stereotypical notions ofwhat a woman's role/purpose is in our society. 
I t  is an easy trap to fall into. Motherhood, as a societal convention, abounds 
with essentialism, one where many Black women, teenage or young parents, 
have found security, respect, and adulthood. I have been there. I loved 
mothering; I loved the external power rewarded with such a position-a 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 133 
position itselfin constant duality, shifting from celebratory to martydom. Our 
ideological society personifies and accentuates this pedestal construction of 
motherhood as a woman's supreme task. Many of the Black women I spoke to 
found their niche as "women" through motherhood., 
Despite the many differing ways in which women got pregnant and their 
particular stances on choice issues-using birth control, not using birth control, 
pro-choice, anti-abortion-once becoming pregnant, the choice to have chil- 
dren was based on two things. Onewas aresistance to the idea that young, Black 
motherhood was "deviant." I myself had wondered why my pregnancy was 
some grave "social problem" that had more to do with my race than the fact that 
I was not yet 18. That is when motherhood became political for me. 
Race, economics, and sexuality only further complicate and burden the 
cicumstances of women. There is a pathology constructed around the percep- 
tion of the impoverished Black mother who has no "baby-father" (as they say), 
and I found by a simple comparison ofwomen's stories that their experiences 
of mothering were vastly different based on whether or not they had a partner. 
One woman said. 
Allofasudden, we're thepoorBlack mother, sucking up ofthe ystem-and 
apparently doing so @years. Idon't know what they think butI'm not on 
welfare, and myparen ts, andthose ofallthe teen moms Iknow have always 
been hard-workingpeople. l a m  sick of Canada's idea that Blacks are one 
lump ofpeople they can criminalize anytime somethinggoes wrong. 
Of the seven women I interviewed (eight including myself), I was the only 
one who, at the time, had a permanent partner who was my child's father.This 
difference in family composition made my experience of motherhood com- 
pletely different. Once people were sure Kevin, my partner, was going to stay, 
that we lived together and had plans for marriage, I was affirmed by my 
community members, my other parents, and told what a "good girl" I was, that 
"I was doing the right thing." To  many, having a partner meant that I was 
"legitimized" and somehow "better." The flip-side to this shallow assessment 
of my ability to succeed based on the presence of a man (my child's father) in 
my life was that those around me, in this same circumstance but without 
partners, would end up at the very least working class and/or poor. My best 
girlfriend was discouraged from even attending post-secondary school and was 
told that she just wouldn't make it with a child, with no father and no support. 
The second resistance came from the women's claim to their right "to 
mother." Though there are a lot of reasons why young teenage women become 
pregnant, by the age of 18-20 there is an awareness that comes out of a Black 
nationalist discourse, as has been discussed bypatricia Hill Collins (2000), that 
Blackwomen feel compelled to have children so that Black people can survive. 
The idea expressed by all the mothers I interviewed, and upheld by myself at 
the time, was that we had to keep Black children forthcoming. There was a 
134 1 Volume 2, Number 2 
Resistance and Surrender 
spiritual sense of doing God's work in the Black community by continuing the 
legacy. 
I have concluded that the Black women's mothering experience is a 
combination of feminism and Black pride. Patricia Hill Collins (2000) has 
touched on the same issue. With a critical feminist and Black nationalist 
perspective, the women I interviewed were asserting that a) they could have 
children and b) under the tyranny of anti-Black racism as a means of survival, 
it was imperative to do so. It  was much more difficult to pry out of the women 
I spoke to any confirmation that young mothering might have something to do 
with asserting their heterosexual identity. As for myself confronting sexuality 
became a non-issue once1 became pregnant. Itwas generally assumed that I was 
"straight" and this led me to think about the ways in which heterosexism is 
forced upon the young woman and the young woman mother from both 
dominant ideological and community cultural codes. When I spoke with the 
women about how motherhood is synonymous with straight womanhood, 
many agreed. Despite such agreement, the women I spoke to did not engage 
my proposal that heterosexism is rampant in our society and that for the Black 
woman who finds herselfin the midst of at least two subject positions-woman 
and Black-having a child at a young age confirms one's "straightness." This 
"normalizationn process happens to many young girls too young to adequately 
address fears about her changing sexuality and her varying subject positions. 
After much discussion, most women were willing to admit that while it was not 
a factor in their choice, it was certainly a possible circumstance. 
The women I interviewed were resistant to the nuclear patriarchal family 
model. While all of them were either currently employed, or had been at given 
points since the birth of their child, they all felt that for awoman to stay at home 
with kids whiie "daddy" is the main breadwinner is a luxury of the "upperclass." 
They all felt that the Black woman and her family rarely fit this model. There 
are a complex arrangements of family models from extended to blended to 
single in this group ofwomen and these differing family arrangements were all 
deemed acceptable and necessary for their children to thrive. Toni Morrison 
has been quoted as saying the problem has not been that teenagers are having 
babies, because that has always been; what the master narrative is upset about 
is that they are having these babies without men (qtd. in Moyers, 1990). The 
&rmation and validation received as a young Blackmother with a partner, in 
contrast to the exile, shame, and ridicule experienced by many of my peers, 
confirms that the patriarchal role model is opposed to the contemporary 
experience ofmany young Black mothers, no doubt because the construct is an 
idyllic one, framed within a racist, sexist, and homophobic discourse. 
Women, despite these obstacles, find themselves networks of support and 
negotiate (often informal) spaces where they can find agency and continue to 
negotiate their motherhood and their survival. Despite the fact that they may 
be impoverished or have little economic means, they have to make sense oftheir 
life and their new child's life and put concerns into context. While I do not 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 135 
believe unplanned pregnancy is the ideal social location in which to have 
children, as I know the effects from lived experience, I believe that young 
motherhood needs to be supported. The scholarship and association fostered 
by organizations such as the Association for Research on Mothering give 
validity to what I believe is a political concern and a space to engage this notion 
of "motherhood" and not just the white, heterosexist, patriarchal, capitalist 
convention of the nuclear family. I put this work into context with what I have 
termed my "wholistic feminism," an inclusive model that reflects the lives of 
many. There is a need to create a safehouse for young women having children 
while safely engaging in scholarship that invites them to discover their own 
agency. Working together, we can find ways to improve their qualityoflife and 
our quality of scholarship. 
- .  
One can see the many complex dimensions and ways in which these 
findings play out in relation to the notion of "resistance and surrender." The 
motherhood experience for young Black women is one of contrasting and 
fascinating duality. There is resistance to major oppressive ideologies of 
Blackness, womanhood, and motherhood. At the same time, there is an 
essentialism conveyed that sees motherhood as a definition ofwhat it means to 
become a woman in the contenxt of production, gender, and race in a capitalist 
society. My hope is that I can continue to talk about motherwork as a site for 
engagement in activism and writing in relation to a wholistic, anti-oppression 
praxis. I dare to delve into what is relatively an unexplored discourse in feminist 
mothering praxis, yet is often pathologized by mainstream research. But, as 
Barbara Smith (1982) has said, "All the Blacks are men, All the Women are 
White, but Some of us are Brave." Brave enough to shift paradigms, effect 
resistances, and choose our destinies. I chose to theorize specifically on Black 
women and motherhood because it was important to me that my activism 
reflect my experience. I saw that my life and the lives of others became a basis 
for theory, one that shifted the paradigm. I recognized the potency, the need, 
and demand for theory that supports our lives and what bell hooks calls 
"revolutionaryparenting" (1984: 133). To  find something that represents one's 
circumstance, one must be willing to resist many conventions of society. 
However, there is are also compromises to be made and surrendered. The idea 
of the privatized, nuclear family is a notion that has existed as normative for far 
too long at the expense of many other kinds of families. My approach may seem 
radical, but I view it as lovingly feminist. 
T o  politicize mothering is to give voice to a feeling I have always had, but 
could scarcely name. A mother interviewed by Fiona Green states that "to 
Mother is to have an entire generation is one's handn (1999: 101). This is a 
power mothers and othermothersaunts, friends, grandparents and caregivers 
have had, and continue to have, and that is passed down to us. 
Being the first in my family to attend secondary school, I feel grateful as 
many do looking back on the efforts laid down so I could realize my fullest 
potential. I envision a time where my child(ren) can reap the benefits ofthe past 
136 1 Volume 2, Number 2 
Resistance and Suwender 
as I have. I look at mothenvork as a site of activism, information sharing, and 
community conscious developing. I developed my political eye with this in 
mind and view my entire feminist politic in this vein of resistance and agency. 
I believe that motherhood as alife journey is informed by our spiritual, political, 
and collective consiousness. This uwholismn has been my milk and manna; this 
mothenvork, my integrity. 
Kin 
MY Army 
My Warriors 
Are 
My children 
Womb warriors 
Who came to 
Change the Earth 
Birthed to Existence 
Resistance 
They will fight 
Of my milk and manna 
Breast and Body 
I will teach them 
To resist all conventions 
of 
Silence. 
T o  have 
No Fear 
&forget the things for which 
I hesitated 
T o  disregard 
The Fort of Society 
And destroy the embargoes of their freedom 
T o  raise their fists, minds and Spirits in 
protests 
And create Rlevolution 
Out of their heart's desire 
-Crystal'hsha PerrymanMark 2000 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 137 
References 
Green, Fiona. 1999. "Living Feminism Through Mothering. " Journalfor the 
Associationfor Research on Mothering 1 (1) (Spring/Summer 1999): 99- 104. 
Hill Colllins, Patricia. 2000. "Mothering in the African Diaspora." Keynote 
address at the Mothering in the African Diaspora Conference. February 
4-5,2000. Hosted by the Association for Research on Mothering. 
hooks, bell. 1984. "Revolutionary Parenting." Feminist Theo y f iom Margin t o  
Centre. Boston: South End Press. 
Jenkins, Nina Lyon. 1998. "Black Women and the Meaning of Motherhood" 
Redefining Motherhood: Changing Identities and Patterns. Eds. Andrea 
O'Reilly and Sharon Abbey. Toronto: Second Story Press. 201-213. 
Moyers, Bill D. 1990. 'Writer's Work with Toni Morrison" A World ofldeas. 
PBS Video. 
Smith, Barbara, et al. 1982. Some ofUsAre Brave. New York: Feminist Press. 
138 1 Volume 2, Number 2 


Resistance and Surrender: Mothering Young, Black and Feminist

MacIntyre, Joyce

' Joyce Maclntyre 
Spirit Wisdom 
Grandmother 
Your spirit touches us 
Grant us the wisdom 
to embrace our weaknesses 
to revel in our strengths 
for we are universal mothers 
caring for all our children 
Grandmother 
Grant us the wisdom to overcome 
our diversities 
to reach beyond ourselves 
to empower our children 
releasing us from our guilt 
Grandmother 
you touch us with your spirit 
allow us to be one with you 
Journal oftbe Association for Research on Mothering 1 221 


Spirit Wisdom

Fitzke, Aileen M.

Aileen M, Fitzke 
Mothers, Sons and 
God-Concepts 
When I was pregnant with my second child, I was also becoming more deeply 
immersed in feminist theological writings. I had hopes that maybe my second 
child would be a girl. I could share with her all my discoveries about the 
feminine face of God. I could encourage her to see the Divine in herself. W e  
could go to women-church' gatherings and participate in motheddaughter 
Goddess circles together and share the knowledge that we, too, were created in 
the image and likeness of God. My second child, as well as my first, was a boy 
and so I had to come to terms with the fact that I was going to have the challenge 
of sharing my feminist religious consciousness with my sons. 
The entrance ofwomen into the fields of theology and religion, in recent 
years, has prompted a critique of traditional understandings of religious 
ideologies. Among other things, feminist theologians have questioned the 
interpretation of sacred texts (Trible, 1984; Fiorenza, 1994 (1983); Brenner 
and Fontaine, 1997), the exclusion ofwomen from full participation in clerical 
and leadership roles within church structures, and most importantly, for my 
purposes, the language which is used to speak about God (Daly, 1973; Christ, 
1979; Ruether, 1984; Carr, 1988; Johnson, 1992). In doing so they have 
exposed the way in which religious traditions, interpreted through a patriarchal 
lens, have oftentimes contributed to the oppression ofwomen and children in 
church and society. 
Male only God language, specifically, confuses Divine mystery with literal 
conceptions of a male, father-like God, reinforcing patriarchal control of 
women and children. Christianity, in particular, has been dominated by 
paternal metaphors for God. Although mothers, in general, are the primary 
caregivers for children, they are separated from the Divine image in a way that 
fathers are not. Elizabeth Johnson (1992) writes: 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 127 
Aileen M. Fitzke 
Feminist theological analysis of God makes it clear that the tenacity 
with which the patriarchal symbol of God is upheld is nothing less 
than violation of the first commandment of the decalogue, the 
worship of an idol. An idol is not necessarily a god in the shape of an 
animal, a golden calf or little statue with no breath that needs to be 
carried, as described in the Hebrew Scriptures. Rather, any represen- 
tation of the divine used in such a way that its symbolic and evocative 
character is lostfromviewpartakes ofthe nature of an idol. Whenever 
one image or concept ofGod expands to the horizon thus shutting out 
others, and whenever this exclusive symbol becomes literalized so that 
the distance between it and divine reality is collapsed, there an idol 
comes into being. Then the comprehensible image, rather than 
disclosing mystery, is mistaken for reality. Divine mystery is cramped 
into a fured, petrified image. Simultaneously the religious impulse is 
imprisoned, leading to inhibition of the growth of human beings by 
the prevention of further seeking and finding. (39) 
When I present the Divine to my sons, I do not want their religious 
impulses "imprisoned." I want their image to be more open, more diverse, and 
less dogmatic than the one on which I was raised. In an already sexist society 
anything that reinforces male dominance such as male-only God images and 
concepts should be re-imagined. Trying to re-imagine God-image with our 
children is difficult. Because in Western culture, despite the workofprominent 
feminist theologians, God-concepts in popular imagination tend to remain 
almost exclusively male. In the following paper I will briefly examine my 
experience of God-image in popular imaginationZand go on to discuss the ways 
in which I have tried to broaden the God-concepts of my own children. 
God-image in popular imagination 
In my own personal experience of having volunteered for different sorts of 
children's ministry within my own church (Roman Catholic), from .religious 
education instructor to coordinator of children's liturgy, and having been a 
participant in classes which instruct religious educators, I have observed the 
hesitancy of adults, who teach children, to embrace anything other than a male 
image of God. A woman in one of my classes conceded that while God was 
probably male, He presumably had some feminine characteristics. At a large 
conference for religious educators that I frequently attend, I overheard a woman 
complaining about a workshop leader who had advocated inclusive language 
(i.e., alternating the pronouns "he" and "she" when referring to God) in 
liturgical music. She said that everyone knew that God was male and that the 
workshop leader was just trying to stir up trouble. The irony of her attitude, I 
hope, is not lost. A lesbian woman I know, who, with her partner, is raising a 
daughter, overheard me talking with our pastor about using inclusive language 
in the liturgy and expandingimages ofGod. She pulled me aside afterwards and 
128 1 Volume 2, Number I 
Mothers, Sons and God-Concepts 
told me that it had never occurred 
to her that the "father-language" 
she uses to teach her daughter about 
God would not have any relational 
significance for her as she was be- 
ing raised by two mothers. 
This unconscious adoption of 
male God language may be chang- 
ing. The past twenty years or so of 
feminist scholarship in religion and 
theology may at some level be af- 
fecting the way in which people 
thinkabout God. Despite the over- 
whelmingly spontaneous use by 
subjects of male God language in 
their study on androcentric God- 
language, Foster and Keating 
(1992) found that a small percent- 
age of their subjects, when talking 
about God, usedinclusive pronouns 
(he/she), used no gender specific 
pronouns, or referred to God as 
"It." Within my own tradition, 
more enlightened editors of reli- 
gious education texts, have begun 
using gender neutral languagewhen 
speaking directly about God. Many 
Judy Martin, "Mothering, " 1998, congregations are choosing to use 
Dyedfeft, Printed andpaintedpapers, inclusive language lectionnaries 
embroide~y~%ss,l4"x 20" (i.e., the books within which are 
the scriptural readings and responses for liturgy). Celebrants of liturgy are 
referring to "Mother /Father God," although they are probably not the norm. 
And, increasingly, women in many denominations (not my own, however) are 
being ordained and bringing a fresh look to the altar, forever changing the face 
of religious authority to many children. Marcus Borg (1997) relates a story that 
captures this change when he talks about the image his wife, an Episcopal 
priest, sends to children: 
Among the people kneeling at the altar rail was a four-year-old girl, 
looking up expectantly at my wife's face as she bent down to give her 
a piece of bread. My wife has a beautiful face and a wonderful smile. 
As I watched the little girl, I suddenly wondered if my wife's face was 
filling her visual screen and being imprinted in her mind as an image 
of God, much as the face of the male pastor from my childhood had 
Journal oftbe Association for Research on Mothering 1 129 
Aileen M. Fitzke 
been imprinted on mine. And I was struck by the difference: an image 
of God as a male authority figure shaking his finger at us versus an 
image of God as beautiful loving woman bending down to feed us. Of  
course I do not knowwhat was happening in that little girl's mind, but 
the difference in images is dramatic. In that difference, something is 
at stake for both men and women. (71) 
Re-thinking God-concepts with my children 
M y  husband called God, "He" (a rare event because he usually uses totally 
non-anthropomorphic metaphors in discussions of the Divine, the Unknown, 
the Meaningful, etc.). My six-year-old son turned to him and said, "God is not 
just 'He.' God can be 'He' or 'She.' God can be both." When playing with one 
of his friends from across the street, he called God, "She," when his friend 
brought God into their conversation. Incidents like this warm the cockles ofmy 
feminist religious heart. H e  had actually been listening to me on the few 
occasions that we discussed my concept of the Divine. His four-year-old 
brother, with whom I have had fewer conversations, calls God, "He." He  also 
calls his friend Julia, "he", so perhaps in his case it is apronoun problem. While 
I do not have a dogmatic aversion to the pronoun "he" in relation to the God, 
I do have an aversion to God always and exclusively being referred to as "He". 
One of the reasons I call the God, "She," to my sons is because I know in every 
other instance in which they hear talk about God, it will be in exclusively male 
terms. In church, in popular culture (e.g., the Sunday funnies, the disembodied 
male god-voice in television commercials), and in conversations with peers 
God language and image is almost exclusively male. God concepts in the 
majority of children and adults, still remain predominantly male. 
My own experience of re-imagining God did not come until I turned 
thirty. Working as a scientist for a large pharmaceutical company had raised my 
feminist consciousness. Being a woman in a male-dominated field is not always 
easy and being referred to as "one of the girls in the lab" started becoming 
annoying. Yet even as my feminism was developing in relationship to my career, 
my relationship to my religious life still remained unquestioned. I had always 
been a practicing Roman Catholic and not just nominally. After twelve years 
of Catholic school, I became an active participant in Catholic campus ministry 
at the large secular university I attended. As an adult I have been a Eucharistic 
minister and lector at Mass, a religious education instructor, and have held 
various other volunteer functions, as needed. Two things forever changed my 
perception of my faith life and they happened almost simultaneously, discov- 
ering feminist theology and having children. 
While pregnant with my first son, on my commute home from work, I 
heard a radio interview with a woman, Mary Jo Weaver, a Catholic feminist 
theologian, who was promoting her most recent book (Weaver, 1993), and it 
shook my whole belief system. While on maternity leave, I read her book and 
many ofthe books mentioned in her bibliography. When I gave birth to my son, 
130 1 Volume 2, Number 1 
Mothers, Sons and God-Concepts 
I was not prepared for the intense feelings of fierce protectiveness and 
overwhelming love for this tiny person that enveloped me, and it gave new 
meaning to the idea of God as mother that I had been reading about. Not 
returning to work and going back to study Feminist Spirituality3 at a graduate 
level, further reinforced the idea that re-imagining God is a crucial tool in 
undermining the patriarchal language and symbols associated with Divine 
mystery. Carol Christ (1979) writes, "symbols have both psychological and 
political effects, because they create the inner conditions.. . . that lead people to 
feel comfortable with or accept social and political arrangements that corre- 
spond to the symbol system" (274). 
That being the case, it is important what we tell our children about God. 
David Wolpe (1993) writes, "all children, even those from nonreligious homes, 
develop images of God. It  is our responsibilityto help them develop those ideas 
in away that is constructive and true both to the traditions we value and to what 
we know about the world" (26). 
When I first introduced the concept of God to my older son, I pondered 
over how I could approach the subject. What parts of the God concept did I 
want to introduce first? I certainlywas not going to start with the "Our Father" 
as my own mother had with me. When he was about three years old we were 
sitting outside our house on a grassy slope and I decided to try telling him about 
God being present in everything. I told him God was in the trees and the flowers 
and the grass. I told him that God was in him and in me. I told him She loves 
us and protects us and is always around. He responded, "Oh, God is like 
Mommy." He was very comforted by this idea. I also tried this approach with 
his younger brother who immediately became distressed. 'What's wrong?" I 
asked. "I don't want God to be in the trees and the flowers," he responded. So 
the same approach does not always work with all children. 
Despite my obvious displeasure with exclusively male God language and 
patriarchal symbol systems, I am still a practicing Catholic. Also, there are a lot 
of things about the tradition that I really love and want to share with my sons. 
I do not make my children come to Mass with me (my husband, who does not 
participate in any organized religion, stays home with them), but my older son 
often asks to come. We discuss anything he asks about afterwards. 
I have chosen not to put my sons into a formal religious education program 
mainly because I do not know all the people who might teach them. Religious 
education in the Catholic Church, unless one goes to Catholic school, is 
basically carried out byvolunteers. Though well meaning, most have very little 
formal religious training and next to none (including some parish directors of 
religious education) are aware that feminist theology even exists. I have instead 
chosen to teach them about God with a group of books that my oldest son has 
named "God-books." They are by no one author but are books that I have come 
across in libraries and book stores which are specifically about God but whose 
authors have chosen unique ways to talk about God. They use inclusive 
language for God (i.e., al;ernati& helshe for God or using gender-neutral 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering I 131 
language) and their illustrations depict the diversity of humankind. 
Old Turtle, (Wood, 1992), is one of my favorite theologies of the Sacred. 
I t  teaches children, using the voices of all creation (e.g., mountains, trees, 
animals, etc.), that there are manyways to thinkabout God and that we should 
respect them all. I t  also has a deep ecological message about respect for the 
earth. Where Does GodLive?, (Bea, 1997), teaches children that God is present 
in the world: 
You know God made everything, seen and unseen, 
The wind and the sun and the meadows so green. 
Flowers and stars and oceans of blue. 
Trees, birds, and rocks, and all people, too. 
And when God makes a person, a star, or a wave, 
A part of God stays with whatever God's made. 
"Little boys and men equally need the balance which feminine imagery 
meditation provides, for their spiritual breadth has also been stunted by the 
predominance of masculine imagery(9)," write the authors ofHeart Talh with 
Mother God (Meehan etal., 1995). This book introduces to children, through 
meditative images, the idea that feminine imagery (particularly maternal 
imagery) for the Divine is as acceptable as masculine imagery. Finally, I n  God's 
Name (Sasso, 1994), introduces children to the different ways people name 
God, using anthropomorphic images (e.g., mother, father) and non-anthropo- 
morphic images (e.g., rock, source of light). These are just a few of the "God- 
books" I have discovered. When my sons get older I will have to think of more 
sophisticated ways to discuss God. Also, as a Christian, I will have to think of 
ways to address the whole idea ofJesus. So far we have talked about Christmas 
and Easter. My explanation of the resurrection elicited the response "cool" from 
my older son. It is a start. 
I do not know what the long-range effect will be of teaching my sons 
diverse images of God. I could find no studies out there that were titled "Men 
Raised with Diverse God-concepts and Their Attitude Towards Women." All 
I know is that men, whom I have met, who have embraced female images of 
God are also strongly aware of the effects of sexism on society. 
My older son keeps me humble, though. When I ask him what he wants 
to read before bed he says, "Anything but the God-books." 'Why," I ask. "Me 
and Daddy, we aren't as interested in God as you are." 
I suppose, for the time being, that is acceptable, too. 
'Women-church is a movement throughout North America of Christian 
women who have chosen to gather and create women-centered liturgy and 
ritual. 
2A section which contained in-depth research on God-concepts has been 
132 1 Volume 2, Number 1 
Mothers, Sons and God-Concepts 
edited from the text published here due to space constraints. The full text of 
the paper can be found on my web site, http://ounvorld.cs.com/aileenfitzke. 
3I study at Immaculate Heart College Center in Los Angeles. I t  is the only 
institution in the U. S. which offers aMasters specifically in feminist spirituality. 
References 
Bea, Holly and Kim Howard (illustrator). 1997. Where Does God Live? 
Tiburon, CA: H.J. Kramer, Inc., Starseed Press. 
Borg, Marcus. 1997. The God We Never Knew: Beyond Dogmatic Religion To a 
MoreAuthentic Contemporary Faith. San Francisco: HarperCollins. 
Brenner, Athalya and Carole Fontaine, eds. 1997. A Feminist Companion to 
Reading the Bible: Approaches, Methods and Strategies. Sheffield, England: 
Sheffield Academic Press. 
Christ, Carol P. 1979. 'Why Women Need the Goddess: Phenomenological, 
Psychological, and Political Reflections." Womenspirit Rising:A Feminist 
Reader in Religion. Eds. Carol P. Christ and Judith Plaskow. San Fran- 
cisco: HarperCollins. 
Carr, Anne E. 1988. Transforming Grace: Christian Tradition and Women i 
Experience. San Francisco: HarperCollins. 
Daly, Mary. 1973. Byond God the Father: Toward a Philosophy of Women's 
Liberation. Boston: Beacon Press. 
Fiorenza, Elizabeth Schussler. 1994 (1983). In Memory $Her.. A Feminist 
Theological Reconstruction of Christian Origins. New York: Crossroad. 
Foster, Rachel Ann and John P. Keating. 1992. "Research Note: Measuring 
Androcentrism in the Western God-concept." Joumalfor the Scient@c 
Study $Religion. 31 (3): 366-375. 
Johnson, Elizabeth A. 1992. She Who Is: The Mystery of God in Feminist 
Theological Discourse. New York: Crossroad. 
Meehan, Bridget Mary, Regina Madonna Oliver (authors), Betsy Bowen, 
Barbara Knutson and Susan Sawyer (illustrators). 1995. Heart Talks with 
Mother God. Collegeville, Minn.: The Liturgical Press. 
Ruether, Rosemary Radford. 1983, 1993. Sexism and God-Talk: Toward a 
Feminist Theology. Boston: Beacon. 
Sasso, Sandy Eisenberg, Phoebe Stone (illustrator). 1994. In God's Name. 
Woodstock, Vermont: Jewish Lights Publishing. 
Trible, Phyllis. 1984. Texts $ Terror: Litera ry-Feminist Readings of Biblical 
Narratives Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 
Weaver, Mary Jo. 1993. Springs of Water in a D ry Land Spiritual Survival for 
Catholic Women Today. Boston: Beacon. 
Wolpe, David J. 1993. Teaching Your Children About God A Modem Jewish 
Approach. New York: HarperCollins. 
Wood, Douglas, Cheng-Khee Chee (illustrator). 1992. Old Turtle. Duluth, 
Minn.: Pfeifer-Hamilton Publishers. 
Journalofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 133 


Mothers, Sons and God-Concepts

Harris, Jennifer

"The More You Look, The More You See": Jospehine Baker, Motherhood, Nation, Race and Identity

Thompson, Ruthe

Book Reviews 
Anglo countries. And though an imaginary and highly racialized "welfare 
queen" continues to be paraded in front of conservative American constituents, 
the affirmation that the image is neither new nor original in its construction, 
use, or purposeful deployment, provides little consolation. Lack ofconsolation 
aside, Irving's bookis a theoretically and historically astute investigation of the 
gendered and racialized fears of immigrant women, at one particularly charged 
moment in American history. 
Mothering Teens: 
Understanding the Adolescent Years 
Miriam Kaufman, ed. 
Charlottetown, PEI: gynergy, 1997 
Reviewed by Ruthe Thompson 
Anyone familiar with children aged 10 to 21 will appreciate this collection 
created "not to tell you how to parent, but to help you understand the process 
of adolescence" (Kaufman 7). Editor Miriam Kaufman, a pediatrician at the 
Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and associate professor of pediatrics at 
the University of Toronto, gathers a diverse group of women to provide a 
comprehensive look at shepherding children through the transition to adult- 
hood. As these 21 essays demonstrate, it is no easy task. President of the 
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, Debra 
Haffner comments in an excellent essay on sexuality that teens can feel 
"omniscient, omnipotent, and invincible" (82). Kaufman underscores this 
point in the overview of adolescent development that opens the volume, 
reminding readers like me, mother to children aged 16 and 13, that "When 
you're parenting a teen, every time you think you've got it right, you realize you 
are an asshole!"' (15). 
Constant reassessment of household attitudes, rules, and expectations 
emerge as key themes in essays like, Cheryl Littleton's piece on adolescent drug 
and alcoholuse, Jacqueline Haessly's discussion ofteens andviolence, Kathleen 
McDonnell's article on rites of passage, and Merry1 Bear and Kaca Henley's 
cautionary tale about body image. We remember that adolescents double their 
body weight while surrounded by media prescriptions of unrealistic physiques. 
We read that teens need privacy, independence, and freedom to develop 
decision-making skills. We read about the strictures of gender roles and learn, 
perhaps contrary to parental fantasy, that "more than 80 percent of North 
Americans first have intercourse as teenagers," making quality health education 
vital (Haffner 88). In provocative essays by Gail Winter and Pat Watson we are 
schooled in the challenges of raising aboriginal teens and on attitudes about 
238 1 Volume 2, Number 2 
Book Reviews 
racism. We get solid suggestions from Alison van Nie about teen explorations 
of spirituality, and an indispensable reminder from Carol Ricker-Wilson that 
high-schoolers still need parental advocacy. 
At times, however, the volume fails to comment on its own contradictions 
and focuses on the anecdotal, at the expense oflarger trends. With the notable 
exception of Bridget Lynch's moving memoir of a daughter with developmen- 
tal delays, the collection's autobiography seems limited to scant historical or 
statistical information. And I was surprised by the strange juxtaposition of 
Martha Fleming's article on economic class andTara Cullis's chapter on activist 
teens two essays later. Cullis, president of the philanthropic David Suzuki 
Foundation, is married to its founder and discusses her daughter's journey 
toward activism and documentary television stardom via hard work by mother 
and daughter, to be sure, but also through familial connection to Suzuki, a 
scientist and television broadcaster whom Cullis never mentions specifically. 
Having been thoroughly engaged, a few pages earlier, by Fleming's account of 
her struggle with her husband to provide opportunities for their children on a 
working-class income, it is difficult to care about the exploits of a nine-year-old 
so fortunately connected that a wealthy donor would offer $1000 for her 
environmental activism trip to Rio during a visit to the Suzuki family founda- 
tion (246). 
Despite this criticism, Motberinf Teens mlls its editor's mission to 
explain &hy our children behave as ;hey do, and to help us mother more 
intelligently. Kaufman "envision[s] this book being passed across back fences, 
being discussed in line at the bank or being argued about at church potlucks" 
(10). My volume has already traveled over one back fence into the hands of a 
colleague with a 13-year-olddaughter, and she will pass the bookon to a mutual 
friend. Let the conversations begin. 
Weaving Work and Motherhood 
Anita Ilta Garey, 1999, 
Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1999 
Reviewed by Leig h M. O'Brien 
As its title indicates, this book details the interconnectedness of "working" 
mothers' professional and personal lives. Garey uses the international meta- 
phor of weaving, as it is both a process and product. She notes that many 
women have followed a life pattern that is not linear and often have made life 
changes dictated by others' circumstances (e.g., a husband's job transfer; a 
child's graduation from school); but she contends nonetheless that women 
Journal oftbe Associationfor Research on Mothering 1 239 


Mothering Teens: Understanding the Adolescent Years

Lawson, Erica

Black Women’s Mothering in a Historical and Contemporary Perspective: Understanding the Past, Forging the Future

Reading Mobility, Motherhood and Domesticity in Four African American Women’s Texts

Mackey, Allison

Return to the [M]Other to Heal the Self: Identity, Selfhood and Community in Toni Morrison’s Beloved

Kuwabong, Dannabang

Restoring the Memories of Joining Between a Mother and Son: A Reading of Lorna Goodison’s Maternal Poems