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Alexandria, J.

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 40 Fostering Inclusive Learning 
Communities Together 
Article 4 
July 2023 
The Labyrinth 
J. Alexandria 
Northumbria University 
Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe 
 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
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Recommended Citation 
Alexandria, J. "The Labyrinth," Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education: Iss. 40 (2023), 
https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss40/4 
THE LABYRINTH 
 
J. Alexandria, Department of the Humanities, Northumbria University, Class of 2023 
 
 
The story I present here is designed to give an impression of what it’s like to be trans in 2021, 
and what ‘succeeding’ means to people like me. The conclusion reached here is that the current 
environment is so overwhelmingly hostile towards trans people that just staying alive and being 
able to help others to do the same is a success, and that this is in large part due to the way that 
we’re deliberately isolated from people who aren’t trans. It also examines the way that the 
attacks levelled against trans people are simply the grisly remains of other long-debunked 
excuses to attack different minorities, reheated and given a different spin to appear relevant 
again. 
 
 
The Labyrinth 
 
Panting, Cassie pulled her sword from the creature’s neck with a wet shnik, splattering hot blood 
against the stone floor. She looked over her shoulder. 
 
“You alright back there?” 
 
Slowly, a face emerged from behind a piece of scorched rubble on the other side of the chamber, 
pale and shaking.  
 
“I… I think so…” The other woman got to her feet, supporting herself on the piece of stone. 
 
“Is it… dead?” she asked, nodding at the slumped mass on the ground. Cassie turned back, 
examined the cyclops, and then kicked it in the ribs as hard as she could. There was a meaty 
thud, and it didn’t move. Cassie thought it’d look cool to check that way, but apparently kicking 
a 400-pound slab of immobile muscle wasn’t any different to kicking 400 pounds of anything 
else (that is to say, quite sore). 
 
“Ahaaaowww… Yes, I think he’s dead,” Cassie replied, hopping over to a pile of rubble to sit 
down. She snapped her fingers, producing a small ball of flame. For a few seconds, she fed it her 
magic, growing it to around the size of her fist, then drew back her hand, letting it hang in the air. 
The warm, orange glow, and quiet crackle of the flames helped calm her after a fight, and she 
pulled out a rag so that she could start cleaning her sword. 
 
“Th-thank you for stepping in like that, Miss…?” the other woman called across the chamber. 
 
“Cassie, thanks.” 
 
“Pleasure to meet you, Cassie. I’m Efrosyni.” 
 
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Alexandria: The Labyrinth
Efrosyni made her way over to the pool of orange light that Cassie was sat in. Up close, Cassie 
saw that Efrosyni was wearing a toga, with a golden clasp at the shoulder. The material would 
probably have seemed pretty in other circumstances. 
 
“Hi, Efrosyni. Sorry about your toga.” Cassie gestured at the blackened hem of the garment as 
Efrosyni sat down next to her. 
 
“Oh, please, don’t worry about it. Sorry about your foot.” 
 
Cassie wiggled her toes in her boot and winced, before wiping the last of the cyclops’ blood off 
her sword. 
 
“At least now,” Efrosyni sighed, “this creature is dealt with for good. This part of the Labyrinth 
will be a little safer.” 
 
Cassie held up her hand and waggled it noncommittally, making an ehhhh noise. 
 
“You say that, but I’ve killed that fucking thing at least three times before now.” 
 
“You’ve killed three—sorry, four—cyclopes? That’s… rather impressive.” 
 
“No no, not four separate ones. This one. Same cyclops each time.” 
 
“Oh… that’s… bizarre.” 
 
“Not really. Our dear hosts only have a limited supply of monsters to set on us, so rather than 
creating something new, it’s much cheaper to scrape up the corpses of the old ones, gussy them 
up a little with a new twist or power, and then give them a shot of magic to switch them back on 
again. Then they shamble off, back into the Labyrinth. Almost as if you never killed it to begin 
with.” 
 
“That sounds rather frustrating.” 
 
“Try soul-destroying. Still, at least after a while, you get a handle on what you’re dealing with 
every time. For example, next time you’ll know not to walk straight into this thing’s lair! How 
did that end up happening, anyway?” 
 
Efrosyni shrugged, looking around helplessly. 
 
“I… got put in here a few days ago, and I’ve just been wandering ever since. It was so dark, and 
there was no food, no water, no…” Her breath caught. 
 
“That’s weird. Aren’t peoples’ families supposed to give them some supplies before they’re 
thrown in?” Cassie asked, and then immediately wished she hadn’t. Efrosyni’s shoulders started 
shaking, and she looked like she was about to cry. 
 
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Nice one, Cassie—very sensitive. 
 
“Listen, I… I’m sorry, I…” Cassie floundered and then trailed off, while Efrosyni slumped.  
 
“What are we even supposed to do? Is this it? Just hiding in the dark forever? What’s the point?” 
 
Cassie sighed, and leaned back, rolling her ankle, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth as 
she felt a stab of pain. It might not have just been the kick; she was beginning to suspect she’d 
landed on her foot funny during the fight. Efrosyni looked around, and her expression became 
concerned. 
 
“Lords, are you sure that’s ok? Let me look…” She crouched, pulling Cassie’s worn boot off. 
 
“Oooww… Thanks, Efrosyni. And, if you want me to be honest, well, any lofty goals like 
escaping or whatever…” Cassie leaned back and shook her head ruefully, “they’d be nice. But 
for now, surviving in here really is the best we can do. This place wants to fucking kill us. Every 
minute we’re breathing, we’re fighting back. Take that cyclops, for example. Anything strike 
you as weird about it? Not like the cyclopes you hear about in legends?” 
 
“Well… it could fire that beam from its eye.” 
 
“I… w-well, I mean, yes, certainly, the eye-beam was new, and that did make it quite 
formidable. But you know what else was new?” 
 
Cassie gestured at her right arm, and then at the cyclops’ mangled limb. Efrosyni followed her 
gaze and frowned. The large, grey appendage, thick with corded muscle, was twisted at a 
sickening angle. 
 
“Brittle bones in its right arm. Sure, they improve these things every time, but they’ve taped that 
thing back together so often that the foundations can be broken with a few whacks from the flat 
of a sword. As long as we keep killing those things, as long as we keep protecting each other 
from them, they get weaker. Stronger too, but they can’t stop the rot from setting in.” She smiled 
down at Efrosyni, as she ripped part of her toga off to start binding Cassie’s sprained ankle. 
 
“And hey, maybe it’s not enough. Maybe by the time the scars of attrition start to tell, we’ll all 
be long dead. But it’s the best we can do in the short term. This place wants to kill us. So, we 
don’t let it. We roll with the punches and do whatever it takes to help each other to stay alive. 
And we smash these things apart as many times as it takes. It’s the best we can do for each 
other.” 
 
Cassie stood, and Efrosyni got up with her, her expression still troubled. 
 
“I mean, that sounds like it makes sense, but won’t I just be dead weight? I can’t swing a sword, 
or shoot fire out of my hands…” Efrosyni said, one hand clutching her arm. 
 
Cassie gave her a smile, and looked down at her ankle, rolling it back and forth a few times.  
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“Well, you patched up my ankle pretty good. You seem to know what you’re doing there.” 
 
“Ah, w-well, I was top of my class at the medical college…” she replied, blushing. 
 
Cassie laughed, and gave Efrosyni a clap on the shoulder. 
 
“See? We can help each other survive down here. I can fuck up monsters, you can patch me up 
when I do that badly. As long as we stick to that… well, we should be ok.” 
 
And with that, Cassie turned, striding off into the darkness… with the sound of Efrosyni’s 
footsteps echoing behind her. 
 
 
Academic Commentary 
 
One of the biggest challenges to overcome with this project was defining what long and short-
term success mean to me. I struggled to think of anything concrete that I could latch onto, and a 
friend of mine suggested that this inability to conceptualize ‘success’ may be worth addressing. I 
used the metaphor of a Labyrinth full of rotting, undead monsters as a metaphor for the 
confinement, confusion, and repeated attacks that encapsulate the experience of being trans in 
the UK today. This led me to the conclusion that success in an environment where your legal 
protections are being actively rolled back and legislated against is surviving, plain and simple. 
Anything else is a bonus. A connected idea I explored was how these attacks are based in long-
debunked claims about other minority groups which are simply repurposed in a manner which, 
as commentator Cody Johnston puts it, is “repeating itself, forever, on a loop, like an Ouroboros 
made out of s***” (Johnston, 2021). For example, the modern moral panic about trans people 
using bathrooms to sexually prey on cis women has its roots in similar Civil Rights-era moral 
panic about black students sharing bathrooms with white students (Ratcliffe, 2017; Godfrey, 
2003). This carried similarly fabricated connotations of sexual menace, “part of a wider 
protectionist politics around (cis) women’s bodies that function to protect idealised notions of 
white female vulnerability” (Pearce et al., 2020). While I wish I had been able to address the 
perspective of what universities can do more explicitly, I do still feel that the implicit advice is 
clear: do not help resurrect the monsters. Do not accept thinly veiled hate speech as a legitimate 
concern. Push back against it by emphasizing that the concerns raised are nothing but 
opportunistic fearmongering by people peddling the same old lies as always. That will help to 
turn back the tide of this extremely bleak period of history for trans people. 
 
 
References 
 
Godfrey, P. (2003). Bayonets, Brainwashing, and Bathrooms: The Discourse of Race, Gender, 
and Sexuality in the Desegregation of Little Rock’s Central High. The Arkansas Historical 
Quarterly 62(1): 42–67. 
 
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Johnston, C. (2021). Anti-Trans Bills and the Bigoted History of “What About The Children.” 
Some More News. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r-Uga_oR28&t=13s 
 
Pearce, R., Erikainen, S., & Vincent, B. (2020). TERF wars: An introduction. The Sociological 
Review 68(4): 677–698. 
 
Ratcliffe, R.G. (2017) “Our Daughters” Used as the Bathroom Bill’s Protection. TexasMonthly. 
https://www.texasmonthly.com/burka-blog/daughters-used-bathroom-bills-protection  
 
 
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Alexandria: The Labyrinth


English

The Labyrinth

Havert, Lois

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 40 Fostering Inclusive Learning 
Communities Together 
Article 15 
July 2023 
The True Difficulty of Autism: Why Acceptance Matters So Much 
Lois Havert 
Northumbria University 
Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe 
 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
Let us know how access to this document benefits you. 
Recommended Citation 
Havert, Lois "The True Difficulty of Autism: Why Acceptance Matters So Much," Teaching and Learning 
Together in Higher Education: Iss. 40 (2023), https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss40/15 
THE TRUE DIFFICULTY OF AUTISM: WHY ACCEPTANCE MATTERS SO MUCH  
 
Lois Havert, Health and Life Sciences, Northumbria University, Class of 2022 
 
 
There is a lack of awareness of autism in non-autistic people, and many people have a negative 
perception of autism or are not aware of what autism can look like. This lack of awareness and 
acceptance can be a barrier to autistic people’s success both at university and afterwards. It can 
mean that neurotypical (non-autistic) people discriminate against autistic people due to their 
negative perception of autism or because they do not understand how to be inclusive of autistic 
people. University students and staff members can assist in removing these barriers by ensuring 
that their practice is inclusive and by actively promoting autism acceptance and awareness. 
 
According to the National Autistic Society (2021), about one in a hundred people in the UK are 
autistic. However, given that so many autistic people—especially autistic women like me—are 
not diagnosed until adulthood, this number may actually be higher. I wasn’t diagnosed until I 
was 18, after years of being around counselors, teachers, and doctors who all failed to recognize 
autism in me. I can attribute this partly to the fact that I was good at acting ‘normal,’ because I 
learnt to overcompensate to fit in. I looked to other people for the appropriate things to do and 
say when I didn’t know, and I hid the ‘quirks’ that I had been rejected for in childhood. 
However, had the people around me known about how autism can present, especially in girls, I 
think that I may have received that diagnosis a lot earlier. I had so many traits, and being 
expected to act like a neurotypical person—socializing and ‘acting normal’ or ‘masking’ autism 
every day—was overwhelming and exhausting. Like many of the difficult experiences in my life, 
this came not from the autism itself, but from a lack of awareness and understanding of autism 
from neurotypical people. 
 
Unfortunately, this is a societal issue and therefore affects university life. Every time that I’ve 
told a fellow student that I’m autistic, they are surprised. What’s more, I’ve never heard anyone 
other than myself talk about autism outside the context of care. Autism to me has always been a 
personality type of sorts that doesn’t fit in with social norms, and which has strengths and 
weaknesses, rather than an illness or affliction. However, other people seem to associate it with a 
lack of capability or acceptability, or they think that disability is something ‘wrong’ with 
someone rather than it being another aspect of identity, like gender. I have rarely heard anyone 
talk about it in a positive way unless they are autistic themselves. Both this lack of understanding 
and lack of acceptance of autistic people means that there is a risk to telling people that you are 
autistic because it can affect the way that they treat you. For example, people usually respond to 
me telling them that I am autistic in one of two ways: they either assume that I am incapable of 
particular things based on a stereotypical idea that they have of autism, or they will expect me to 
think and function like they do because I behave like they would expect a neurotypical person to. 
For me, these perceptions cause emotional distress and isolation, but they also create a pressure 
both to be ‘autistic enough’ and to prove that I am as capable as a neurotypical person. A 2018 
study found that many other autistic people also feel a pressure to mask, and that this, and a lack 
of acceptance, can lead to poor mental health (Eilidh, Monaco, & Newell, 2018). 
 
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Being autistic in a neurotypical world and not always being accepted by people unless you fit in 
to their idea of ‘normal,’ which many autistic people do not, has also made me question my own 
acceptability as an autistic person and whether I should act ‘normal’ or not. I consider self-
acceptance, good mental health, and a sense of belonging to be vital to success and happiness. As 
lack of autism awareness and acceptance from others can be isolating and upsetting, it is a barrier 
to that success. If the negative perceptions that students and staff members at university have of 
autism and disability aren’t challenged, they may think of autistic people as inferior, and may 
make negative assumptions about them. For example, when neurotypical students become 
employers, their perception of autistic people may affect whether they give an autistic person a 
job or not. According to the Office for National Statistics (2021), only 22% of autistic adults are 
employed, and I can’t help but wonder whether this has something to do with the lack of 
awareness and acceptance of autism that I have experienced in my own life. 
 
If people are not aware of how autism can present, the strengths that can come with it, and the 
difficulties that can come with being in an environment that is set up only for neurotypical 
people, those people may not be able to make environments more inclusive. For example, I 
would really like to get a first-class degree at university, but it often takes me a while to plan 
assignments and to make sure that I’m including everything that I need to in them because the 
instructions that we are given do not clearly state what we need to include. It is assumed that 
everyone can understand what is implied by vague questions, but clarity has always been 
something that I need. I have learnt to overcompensate by really thinking about what lecturers 
might mean when they are asking a question, rather than what they are actually asking, and to 
ask questions to understand what I need to include in assignments to make sure that I succeed. 
This lack of clarity in assignment briefs is one example of a barrier to my success at university 
that comes from a lack of awareness of autism. 
 
In the future, I would simply like a job that does not involve constant stress that is caused by a 
lack of inclusivity. I put a great deal of effort into everything that I do, and I know that I can do 
many jobs as well as, if not better than, some neurotypicals because I do have many strengths 
and a desire to work hard. However, I have found that the assumption that I know how to 
complete every task without clear instructions, the judgement and lack of clarity that I have 
received from colleagues when I have asked questions, poor organization, and a lack of 
understanding of autism from employers and colleagues have prevented me from being as good 
at my job as I could be and has caused my mental health to suffer. For the long-term success of 
autistic people like myself, people need to learn how to be inclusive employers and employees, 
possibly with specific training at university, so that autistic people can achieve professional 
success without great distress. 
 
Important steps are being taken to remove some of these barriers. However, many of the barriers 
that can arise in the lives of autistic people like me seem to be rooted in a lack of awareness and 
acceptance of autism. The implication of this is that, while addressing specific issues and barriers 
is important—like the low employability rates of autistic adults in university—addressing these 
wider issues and perceptions that may also be contributing to, or directly causing, difficulties for 
autistic people is also necessary. Universities could do this by actively raising awareness of 
autism and challenging the negative perceptions of disability that students and staff members 
have. Institutions could also make practice more inclusive by researching and addressing issues 
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that may be shared by many autistic people, like the clarity of assignment instructions, as well as 
by ensuring that individualized support is given. 
 
 
References 
 
Eilidh, C., Monaco, J. D., & Newell, V. (2018). Experiences of Autism Acceptance and Mental 
Health in Autistic Adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders 48(2): 473–484.                                                          
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3342-7  
 
National Autistic Society. (2021). What is autism? https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-
guidance/what-is-autism  
 
Office for National Statistics. (2021). Outcomes for disabled people in the UK: 2020. 
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/disability/articles/o
utcomesfordisabledpeopleintheuk/2020#employment  
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Havert: The True Difficulty of Autism


The True Difficulty of Autism: Why Acceptance Matters So Much

Wang, Jin

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 40 Fostering Inclusive Learning 
Communities Together 
Article 24 
July 2023 
Successfully Fitting In 
Jin Wang 
Northumbria University 
Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe 
 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
Let us know how access to this document benefits you. 
Recommended Citation 
Wang, Jin "Successfully Fitting In," Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education: Iss. 40 (2023), 
https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss40/24 
SUCCESSFULLY FITTING IN 
 
Jin Wang, Arts, Postgraduate (PhD) Researcher, Design and Social Science, Northumbria 
University, Class of 2021  
 
 
In this piece, I share my personal experiences as an Asian student at a university. I start by 
explaining why it is important for Asian students to gain a sense of belonging, linking to the 
culture of their societies, then moves on to telling stories about what the student experienced and 
how she felt during incidents. I include references that link these incidents to current research, to 
build up arguments and depict perspectives upon which future improvements or academic 
research can draw. It may be valuable to consider it as a piece of evidence that depicts the 
difficulty of gaining a sense of belonging for Asian students at UK universities. 
 
 
Defining Success 
 
What is success? It is a question that we should all ask ourselves throughout our lives. However, 
as a student from a BAME (black, Asian, minority ethnic) group—an Asian—my answer is 
closely linked to my campus life in the UK—day in, day out. To be more specific, I would define 
my success (as would many other Asian students) as gaining a sense of belongingness in a 
foreign country. In other words, to be considered as part of something, a member, to fit in. 
 
If you were born in China, Korea, Japan, India, Thailand, or Malaysia, you may be familiar with 
being given tasks to validate yourself as a member. Am I right? No matter which part of Asia 
you are from, the society is more likely to expect you to be ‘part of something:’ a family, a 
community, or a social circle. That was no exception for me. As an award-winning advertiser, I 
worked hard for 12 years to be recognized by my colleagues, boss, industry, and society, until 
one day I flew thousands of miles away from home, spending almost my entire savings in the 
process, and began my studies in the UK. 
 
 
Representation 
 
Studies show that Asian students find it hard to gain their sense of belongingness (Todman, 
2020). Indeed, as a person from a minority ethnic group, I know that it is a task to fit in. What 
should I expect when I am not white, but study in a white-dominated community? In my 
department, every scholar I see, from the dean to my supervisor, from the head of department to 
any lecturer I meet, is white. This employment structure has significantly contributed to the 
reality that the BAME group questions their own academic and professional capabilities (Arday, 
2019). This of course includes me. With the policy of university equality in mind, I still often ask 
myself if I am supposed to be here. Am I going to be evaluated the same way as the locals? 
 
Underrepresentation is an issue. It was discovered as early as 2012 that there is an overwhelming 
disconnect between the words and actions within higher education institutions regarding race 
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Wang: Successfully Fitting In
equalities (Ahmed, 2012). However, the structure of academic employment has not improved 
since. 
 
The present context for addressing issues of race inequality and systematic racism within 
higher education institutions is still lying in the hands of senior university stakeholders 
and administrators, best positioned to prioritise this agenda (Arday, 2020, p. 2).  
 
Looking around, I am not confident enough about my belongingness at my university, let alone 
my career prospects. 
 
Gradually, a picture has formed in my mind of how prejudices and injustices can manifest 
themselves, often in subtle ways. I do not remember exactly when it started, but I do remember 
the moment when I received an apologetic email from a university department stating that, 
“considering your qualifications and experiences, this would be disappointing news, but we are 
sorry for not being able to offer you this position.” The student who was hired seemed to me to 
be less qualified. Without further feedback in the email I received, I was left to wonder if I was 
not successful because of other reasons, including my ethnic background. From time to time, 
other memories stored in the corner of my brain would start to emerge: the moment when I was 
one of three Asians who had to wait at customs before our visas could be checked, while a 20-
meter-long queue of Europeans were processed. I can also recall the feeling of being ignored by 
a member of staff responsible for providing service to all students on campus — irrespective of 
their backgrounds. 
 
 
Attitude 
 
Attitude may be another issue. In academia, BAME students are facing higher fees (due to the 
higher fees charged to international students) and fewer scholarships than the majority ethnic 
group (Lynam et al., 2019). In general, the research bursary for BAME students is significantly 
less than for other students (Lynam et al., 2019). I have lost count of how many times I have 
heard stories about how a PhD student from BAME background got accepted by a conference 
yet did not have the money to go. Perhaps people think that Asian students, who have already 
gained the reputation of being submissive or obedient, would not even notice that they are treated 
in a different way. Every now and then, I receive marketing emails asking me to attend focus 
groups to tell the university’s marketing team what to say in advertising to attract more Chinese 
students. Every time I think: “Why not treat us the same as everybody else? Then we could 
attract students by positive word of mouth.” As such, inclusivity and equality should start by 
seeing BAME groups in the same way as other students. 
 
Although current research shows that BAME people are more likely to be mistreated in 
professional places (see, for example, Hasan, 2021), can they find belongingness through other 
aspects of campus life? How about through making friends with the locals? Sounds like a good 
idea, right? Actually, one of my biggest reasons for choosing the UK instead of the USA is my 
love of British culture. I am a big fan of The Beatles and Britpop. My favorite band, Suede, was 
formed in London in the late eighties. Truly, I have been excited to see everything in the place I 
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dreamed of: the music, the pubs, the theaters, and, most importantly, the people. After spending 
days and nights in the library, I decided to step out and give it a try. 
 
Immediately, I noticed that students from the majority ethnic groups were not too keen to initiate 
conversations with me, someone from a BAME group. They nodded and said hello and expected 
me to do the same. I learned that “how are you doing?” is an expression that implies a response 
of “I am doing great, thank you.” Everyone is in their own inner world and may not to be too 
keen on exploring others’. However, I did see that more effort was made when it came to two 
white students. This is reflected in current research, which found cultural stereotyping and 
perceptions of different cultures are preventing BAME students from connecting to the majority 
ethnic groups (Todman, 2020). I am tired of being the one who always initiates conversations, 
trying to demonstrate my approachability. In fact, sometimes the efforts could be seen as ‘too 
flattering’ and be looked down upon. 
 
I remember once when a conversation went wrong. That day, in a postgraduate research 
community space, where PhD students from different disciplines are supposed to have coffee and 
chat with each other, a local girl was standing by me taking coffee from the machine. While 
waiting, I asked: “Fuel yourself?” She replied, “Yeah.” I continued: “I like your mug. I am Jin, 
by the way.” Instead of a standard response like “nice to meet you,” she looked at me with a 
wary face, glanced me up and down, and then turned away with one hand covering her mug. Left 
a little humiliated and confused, I was thinking, “did she worry that I might want her mug?” For 
a while, I was trying to figure out what went wrong during that conversation. It could be just her 
personality—it does not represent everyone, and it does not stop me loving British culture. 
However, I hope this gives you at least a rough idea of how hard it is to demonstrate 
approachability and to build up connections as an Asian student. It involves risks and fear. 
 
 
What To Do? 
 
Time goes by, but memories are still fresh. My experience is only one piece of evidence. 
Looking forward, I anticipate that all gaps can be narrowed, in spite of the current inequities 
within the academic hierarchy, policymaking and its applications, and cultural stereotyping. 
Perhaps, to overcome these obstacles, a university can give more instructions on policy 
applications, introduce more employees from BAME groups, and organize more activities so that 
different cultures can be understood. The greatness of human beings lies in their adaptability. 
Perceptions can be shifted; academic structures can be improved. With new generations of 
students rightly demanding equality in operations from their institutions, I hope awareness can be 
raised as soon as possible.  
 
 
References 
 
Ahmed, S. (2012). On Being Included: Racism and Diversity in Institutional Life. Durham, NC: 
Duke University Press 
 
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Arday, J. (2019). Dismantling power and privilege through reflexivity: negotiating normative 
Whiteness, the Eurocentric curriculum and racial micro-aggressions within the Academy. 
Whiteness and Education 3(2): 141–161. https://doi.org/10.1080/23793406.2019.1574211  
 
Arday, J. (2020). Fighting the tide: Understanding the difficulties facing Black, Asian and 
Minority Ethnic (BAME) Doctoral Students’ pursuing a career in Academia. Educational 
Philosophy and Theory 53(10): 972–979. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131857.2020.1777640   
 
Hasan, M. (2021). Racist bullying of BAME (Black and Asian Minority Ethnic) women within 
police services in England: Race, gender and police culture. International Journal of Police 
Science & Management 23(2): 182–195. https://doi.org/10.1177/14613557211004619   
 
Lynam, S., Lafarge, C., Milani, R., & Worrell, M. (2019). The Experiences of Postgraduate 
Research Students from Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic Background: An Exploratory Study. 
Paper presented at the 1st International Conference on the Mental Health & Wellbeing of 
Postgraduate Researchers. https://cgsglobaldiversity.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/2013-
Mission-Statement-Diversity.pdf  
 
Todman, V. (2020). Stuck in the Middle: Asian Students’ Sense of Belonging. King’s College 
London blog. https://blogs.kcl.ac.uk/behaviouralinsights/2020/03/25/stuck-in-the-middle-asian-
students-sense-of-belonging/   
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Successfully Fitting In

Hedley, Michael

Parkin, Emily

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 40 Fostering Inclusive Learning 
Communities Together 
Article 26 
July 2023 
Reflecting on Stories of Pitfalls and Persistence 
Michael Hedley 
Northumbria University 
Emily Parkin 
Northumbria University 
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 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
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Recommended Citation 
Hedley, Michael and Parkin, Emily "Reflecting on Stories of Pitfalls and Persistence," Teaching and 
Learning Together in Higher Education: Iss. 40 (2023), https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss40/
26 
REFLECTING ON STORIES OF PITFALLS AND PERSISTENCE 
 
Michael Hedley, Inclusion Practitioner, Northumbria University, UK 
 
Emily Parkin, Student Experience & Enhancement Manager, Northumbria University, UK 
 
 
Higher education globally is now explicitly aware of differential student experiences. However, 
as the students’ contributions illuminate, there are significant pitfalls we potentially create but 
are not yet mitigating. 
 
As practitioners working in the ‘widening participation’ (WP) space, we regularly work with 
colleagues to define WP in their contexts. This often inspires sharing of their previous lived 
experience of being a student, with characteristics which would have categorized them as WP.  
 
Our stories are important. Many of us working in higher education have had bumps in the road 
when it comes to getting to where we are today. This piece encourages us to reflect on our own 
journeys and the role persistence played in getting us through them, whilst identifying how our 
roles as practitioners can be key to repairing dangerous pitfalls before students reach them. 
Persistence can only get us so far. 
 
 
A Reflection on my Student Journey and How it Shaped my Work Today—Michael Hedley 
 
When I was asked to write this piece, I didn’t know where to start. It brought back the familiar 
feelings of not being confident to write academically, 17 years since I was asked to write my first 
essay as a first-year archaeology student. I was oblivious to any support that was available as a 
student and persisted in struggling, believing that everyone must feel the same. The term 
‘widening participation’ (WP) was foreign to my vocabulary and is a term that I wouldn’t 
become familiar with until I was in my thirties—around the same time that I realized I had been 
a WP student myself. Below is a short reflection of my experience as a WP student throughout 
my student journey: from prospective student to the present day as an inclusion practitioner. 
 
One of my first experiences of higher education came when I was visiting a university for an 
open day. It had been a long journey down from Newcastle, and I had left when it had been 
snowing. Upon arriving at the university, parents were ushered away, and students were led into 
a room for an informal ‘meet and greet’ with fellow prospective students, and lecturers. Noticing 
that many students had suits on or wore the uniform of their private school, I began to feel out of 
place. Worse was to follow when I was asked by a lecturer about which school I attended and 
where I was from, their response being: “Oh, you’re the one from the state school.” This left me 
feeling out of place, so that within 30 minutes of the open day starting I had already decided I 
wouldn’t be attending that university.  
 
My actual university experience was generally quite good: I made lots of friends and I had a 
good time. However, I never enjoyed the academic side of university. I found it frustrating that I 
would be marked down for spelling and grammar (“please check your work”) and was often 
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Hedley and Parkin: Reflecting on Stories of Pitfalls and Persistence
deflated when I thought a good piece of work was unfairly judged. I remember friends laughing 
at my handwriting, but I brushed it off as ‘lads’ banter.’ I even transferred courses so I could do 
some modules that were more factually based. Despite never really getting to grips academically, 
I managed to persist and achieve a 2:1—by the skin of my teeth! Job done. It didn’t matter that I 
struggled—I was done. Or so I thought. 
 
Like for many graduates who emerged from higher education during the late 2000s, the financial 
crisis meant jobs were limited. I was working at Beamish Museum in County Durham and 
enjoying it, and thought I should continue my studies in something related. So, I embarked on a 
Masters, as so many graduates do when they’re unsure of their next steps. Again, I had a great 
experience, but it was the same old story in terms of the academic side. This time, though, it was 
a different overall experience as I was living at home and didn’t have the freedom of my 
undergraduate degree. Again, I struggled through, with a mixture of good and bad marks. 
 
After graduating for a second time, and after another stint working at Beamish, I found 
employment at Northumbria University. I worked in various teams, gaining a breadth of 
knowledge of how services worked. A pivotal moment in my work life, and indeed in my WP 
status, came when I started working for the Disability and Dyslexia Team. Part of my role was 
giving guidance to students who wanted to get tested for dyslexia and other specific learning 
difficulties. It soon became apparent when I was talking to students about their experiences that I 
had shared the same difficulties as them. Eventually, I was tested and discovered I did indeed 
have dyslexia and dyspraxia. This diagnosis was a relief; it made a lot of things make sense. 
Even though it was too late to rectify all the difficulties I had had while studying, at least I now 
knew that it wasn’t entirely my fault. I don’t blame anyone for not picking up on the difficulties I 
had, but I do sometimes think: would my university experience have been even more enjoyable 
with the appropriate support? 
 
So, that is my story: in my thirties, I discovered that I was a WP student. I hope what my own 
story shows is that it is important to be proactive rather than reactive. It is easy to focus on what 
is in front of you—in my case, the assignment feedback. However, it is important to join the dots 
to see if there is a wider issue. This may have helped in my case.  
 
As practitioners, we all want to support the student with the particular issue they have come to us 
with. However, it is important to think of how and why the student has got to this point, and what 
could be done to support the student more holistically. 
 
 
The Value of Reflection—Emily Parkin 
 
The stories I have read throughout this project highlight to me that there is some work for us to 
do, and I believe reflection is the starting point. I have my own pitfalls to reflect on from my 
student days, but as cis, white members of staff from the North East, Michael and I have found 
the student contributions extremely valuable in enhancing our reflective practice and adding 
intricacies that were not available to us solely through our personal stories. 
 
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We will not always be able to directly relate to our students’ individual circumstances. But by 
slowing down and understanding that there are points when we personally could have benefited 
from additional support, being directed appropriately or through a more considered approach to a 
conversation, especially during open days, we can each do our bit to contribute to an enhanced 
sense of community and belonging, rather than each of us having to persist on our own. 
 
I survived my own WP student journey even after failing my first year (not at Northumbria), but 
I definitely did not thrive. However, through some persistence, some luck, and some 
opportunities which my cis, white privilege afforded me, I am proud to continue working in 
higher education in a role which enables me to contribute to social justice in a unique way. 
Whether I am successful in my role depends solely on my ability to reflect on what I can do, 
rather than expecting our students to ‘fit’ into a space which isn’t yet set up to help them thrive 
rather than survive. When we are facilitated to critically reflect as a collective university 
community, and embed this fully into practice in all teams, then I believe we may start seeing all 
our students thriving. 
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Hedley and Parkin: Reflecting on Stories of Pitfalls and Persistence


Reflecting on Stories of Pitfalls and Persistence

Ajibade, Benjamin

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 40 Fostering Inclusive Learning 
Communities Together 
Article 29 
July 2023 
Lost in the Cloud: Advancing Inclusive Learning and Teaching 
Benjamin Ajibade 
Northumbria University 
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 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
Let us know how access to this document benefits you. 
Recommended Citation 
Ajibade, Benjamin "Lost in the Cloud: Advancing Inclusive Learning and Teaching," Teaching and Learning 
Together in Higher Education: Iss. 40 (2023), https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss40/29 
LOST IN THE CLOUD: ADVANCING INCLUSIVE LEARNING AND TEACHING 
 
Benjamin Ajibade, Assistant Professor, Department of Nursing, Midwifery and Health, 
Northumbria University, UK 
 
 
In this piece, I explore my journey as an international student and academic tutor in UK higher 
education (HE). Feeling lonely and lost in a strange academic world can be daunting. Being a 
mature student complicates the issue even more, juggling work with academic studies, in a 
hostile UK educational environment that has failed to decolonize, or is merely making tokenistic 
gestures towards decolonization. Black, Asian, and minority ethnic (BAME) students beginning 
their studies suddenly find themselves in a peculiar HE environment filled with inequality, 
diversity, and non-inclusiveness. 
 
 
Understanding students’ lived experiences in HE while considering their culture, disability, 
learning difficulty, maturity, religious belief, and educational background is paramount to the 
successful decolonization of our curriculum. The diverse range of students should be reflected in 
our curriculum. Good pastoral care has been found to assist in the retention and attainment of 
international students. 
 
My experience during my undergraduate and postgraduate studies was filled with negativity. 
While this improved my intersectional identity, it had a detrimental impact on my academic 
progression. The latter prompted my passion for becoming an academic to influence future 
students’ experiences.  
 
Decolonization can only be achieved when there is a good mix of lecturers and senior managers 
in HE institutions (HEIs), with multiple identities. HEIs need to accommodate the educational, 
pedagogical, clinical, language, social, and cultural needs of the international and 
‘disadvantaged’ home and overseas students, and consider different social classes and their 
impact on students’ learning and education. 
 
 
Introduction 
 
Racism is a public health crisis. The murder of George Floyd (The New York Times, 2021) has 
raised mass awareness of the importance of racism in our world. It also triggered the Black Lives 
Matter (BLM) movement (Black Lives Matter UK, 2020) that led to various government 
parastatals worldwide to start recognizing systemic racism. Although we may assume that blacks 
and other ethnic minority groups are generally accepted in the Western world, this is likely a 
wrong assumption, as systemic racism exists in all UK systems. Within HE, the number of black 
professors in the UK is just 160 out of 22,855 as of February 2022, only slightly higher than the 
155 black professors recorded as working in 2019/20 by the Higher Education Statistics Agency 
(HESA) (Francis, 2022). The HESA UK staff dataset shows that 2.8% of total HE staff are black, 
lower than the 3.3% of the total population that are black, as recorded in the 2011 Census for 
England and Wales (Advance HE, 2021). Furthermore, out of 21,135 HE academics whose 
1
Ajibade: Lost in the Cloud
ethnicities are known, 1,580 are professors of Asian origin—or 7.47%, compared with 0.7% who 
are black. 
 
 
Relocating to the UK 
 
I grew up on the South Western coast of Nigeria in West Africa, where I acquired my primary, 
secondary, and higher national diploma certificates in general nursing (registered nurse) and 
psychiatric nursing (licensed practical nurse). I relocated to the United Kingdom many years ago 
to improve my experience in the profession and progress my career in nursing. Working in the 
healthcare sector in the UK taught me various lessons of living in a place where racism is part of 
day-to-day life—at work, in the community, on the bus, on trains, and even when shopping. 
After three years working as a nurse in the UK, I commenced my undergraduate top-up degree in 
nursing at one of the universities in England’s North East. This started my feeling of loneliness, 
due to the difference in the UK’s approach to HE compared with my background in Nigeria. 
 
I was lost in this strange academic world, complicated by being a mature student, juggling work 
with academic study, and a family to look after. Things became more difficult when essay 
deadlines approached, a system I had never experienced back home. We had to do summative 
presentations in front of everyone in the class. This wouldn’t have been an issue if the system 
had accommodated ‘us’—the international students—and recognized the background we came 
from, to ensure that we were offered adequate coaching. This was not the case. 
 
During the course, I realized that there is discrimination between a black and white-skin person. 
This means that blacks are more racially minoritized and discriminated than those who are non-
British but white skinned. Reflecting back now, this lack of accommodation is hardly surprising, 
as I was never taught by a black lecturer in all my time studying in the UK. The obvious thing 
that was massively lacking throughout my studies was ‘good’ pastoral support. 
 
 
Postgraduate Journey  
 
On completing my undergraduate degree, I did a professional graduate certificate in education 
and a postgraduate certificate in Learning and Teaching in HE. I got a job as an academic tutor in 
a university in the North East of England. This kick-started my career in HE. My first experience 
was while trying to make my delivery more inclusive, as the program included students from all 
over the world, as well as home students. With my passion for using inclusive practice, I 
encountered a learner who was on the verge of withdrawing from the program. This was because 
most of her assessments in Africa were in the form of exams and objective questions, whereas in 
the UK she was required to submit essays, with minimal exams. I organized a tutorial that turned 
into pastoral care. I mapped the student’s journey, and together we identified her needs. I 
signposted her to where she could get help with academic skills, IT support, regular personal 
tutoring, coaching, and time management skills. We worked out ways to meet her needs using a 
‘mind map’ (Buzan, 1993). The student completed the course with first-class honors. I believe 
this result was achieved because I was able to facilitate the co-construction of her learning 
experience (Ajibade & Hayes, 2020). 
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I developed a learning strategy based on the above methodology to enhance students’ learning 
experience. It has yielded good results, with international students’ grades improving since the 
strategy was introduced. Yet the issue of non-inclusiveness continues. Even during my Masters 
degree (work-based learning), I saw evidence of inequality and non-inclusiveness. Yet my 
mostly negative experiences have given me many insights, and my own intersectional identity 
has strengthened as a result. I have used these insights to understand various social identities, 
which has led to my capability to accommodate students of different race, ethnicity, gender, 
social class, religion, ability, sexual orientation, and caste—particularly those students who are 
marginalized. This pastoral support has empowered the students—because I supported their 
voices to be heard. 
 
 
HE Jobs: Huddles and Breakthrough 
 
My tenure as an academic tutor came to an end when I was informed that there was no longer a 
need for my services to deliver on the program. After a few years, I realized that this was simply 
not the case: there was never a time when there was no need for an academic tutor on that 
program, nor on other related programs in the university.  
 
Similarly, towards the end of another program that I undertook at the university, during one of 
the study sessions we were told about an upcoming lecturer job that might be of interest to us. 
The role would be ideal for someone on our program, as it required someone with practical 
experience who could transfer their skills and knowledge to the HE sector. I was the only person 
in the group interested in teaching as a profession. However, I was not informed when the job 
advert was posted.  
 
Reflecting on my career in academia as a lecturer, I experienced an extended episode of bullying, 
harassment, discrimination, and racism from someone supposed to uphold equality. This went on 
for several years until I successfully took action to deal with it. I advise everyone from a BAME 
background to take action when there is any form of racial discrimination. BAME groups face 
many micro-aggressions daily, most of which are not perceived by the perpetrators as 
intentional, but their impact on the receiver is immense. There is still a lot to be done in the HE 
sector to attract more people from the BAME community if true decolonization is to be achieved.  
 
The above has had a negative effect on the BAME community’s academic progression. People of 
a BAME background are disproportionately affected by slow progression and advancement 
within HE. 
 
 
The Way Forward 
 
For effective decolonization to occur, universities need to understand students’ lived experiences 
by considering their culture, disability, learning difficulty, maturity, religious beliefs, and 
educational background. This is of paramount importance to the successful decolonization of our 
curriculum. HE institutions need to accommodate the educational, pedagogical, clinical, 
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Ajibade: Lost in the Cloud
language, social, and cultural needs of the international and ‘disadvantaged’ home and overseas 
students. They must also consider different social classes and their impact on students’ learning 
and education.  
 
Therefore, decolonization requires the HE sector to critically reflect on and eradicate its 
assumptions. The sector must unlearn and reconstruct these assumptions, beyond the reading list 
and classroom, resulting in a paradigm shift (Canterbury Christ Church University, 2021). 
Furthermore, each HEI needs to explore their course design, module development, and the 
possibilities for staff development. Students and staff from BAME backgrounds should be 
involved at every level of curriculum development and assessment design. The diverse range of 
students should be reflected in our curriculum. Decolonization can only be achieved when there 
is a good mix of lecturers and senior managers in HEIs with multiple, intersectional identities. 
More role models are required for the racialized, minoritized groups among the current black 
professors, to encourage other black academics and attract new ones. 
 
Good pastoral care has been found to assist in the retention and attainment of international 
students because it enables student support throughout a program. It also helps to prevent trauma, 
improve well-being, and improve students’ safety and satisfaction. Therefore, good pastoral care 
should be at the heart of all HE in the UK. Care should be taken to ensure that BAME students 
are allocated to likeminded lecturers who have intersectional capability and who put equality at 
the heart of what they do. 
 
In conclusion, decolonization should not be seen as a tokenistic exercise but as a safeguard for 
equality, inclusivity, and diversity measures in HE. Students from BAME backgrounds should be 
involved in the co-construction of knowledge across the sector and not be dictated to when it 
comes to curriculum design. 
 
 
References  
 
Advance HE. (2021). Equality in higher education: statistical reports 2021. 
https://www.advance-he.ac.uk/news-and-views/equality-higher-education-statistical-reports-
2021  
 
Ajibade, B.O., & Hayes, C. (2020). An Insight into Utilising LEGO® Serious Play® to Explore 
International Student Transitions Into a UK Higher Education Institution. SAGE Research 
Method Cases Part 1. https://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781529710625 
 
Buzan, T., & Buzan, B. (2006). The Mind Map Book, Full Illustrated Edition Upgrade. Essex, 
England: Pearson Education Group. 
 
Black Lives Matter UK. (2020). Let’s Do This Together! https://blacklivesmatter.uk/ 
 
Canterbury Christ Church University. (2021). Decolonising the curriculum: a health check. 
https://www.canterbury.ac.uk/asset-library/BH365-and-bridging-the-gap/Decolonising-the-
curriculum-a-health-check.pdf  
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Francis, A. (2022). Empowering black people to become academics ‘should be top priority’ as 
data reveals poor diversity levels. https://inews.co.uk/news/education/academics-new-figures-
professors-uk-universities-black-1435927  
 
The New York Times. (2021). How George Floyd Died, and What Happened Next. 
https://www.nytimes.com/article/george-floyd.html  
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Ajibade: Lost in the Cloud


Lost in the Cloud: Advancing Inclusive Learning and Teaching

Dabashi, Pardis

Review of Misfit Modernism: Queer Forms of Double Exile in the Twentieth-Century Novel

Vergara, José

Bryn Mawr College 
Scholarship, Research, and Creative Work at Bryn Mawr College 
Russian Faculty Research and Scholarship Russian 
2023 
Review of The Vortex That Unites Us: Versions of Totality in 
Russian Literature, by Jacob Emery 
José Vergara 
Bryn Mawr College, jvergara@brynmawr.edu 
Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.brynmawr.edu/russian_pubs 
 Part of the Russian Literature Commons 
Let us know how access to this document benefits you. 
Citation 
Vergara, José. Review of The Vortex That Unites Us: Versions of Totality in Russian Literature, by Jacob 
Emery. The Russian Review 82 (2023):722–23. https://doi.org/10.1111/russ.12524. 
This paper is posted at Scholarship, Research, and Creative Work at Bryn Mawr College. 
https://repository.brynmawr.edu/russian_pubs/18 
For more information, please contact repository@brynmawr.edu. 
 
 
BOOK REVIEW 
Literature and Fine Arts 
 
The Vortex That Unites Us: Versions of Totality in Russian Literature by Jacob Emery. Ithaca: 
Northern Illinois University Press, 2023. 228 pp. $54.95. ISBN 978-1-5017-6938-2 
 
 
José Vergara 
 
Bryn Mawr College 
Email: jvergara@brynmawr.edu 
 
 
More than a year into Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine and its brutal attempts to absorb a 
foreign nation, a book exploring the concept of “totality” in Russian literature reads differently 
than it might have otherwise. Political questions are not the focus of Jacob Emery’s fascinating 
The Vortex That Unites Us---far from it---but he, too, acknowledges the resonances: “It would 
have been foolish to hazard prophesies of general statements about Russian-language literature 
[…] and any surmises of the kind seem more precarious yet as I approach the limit of my final 
draft, at a moment when history remains so obviously ongoing” (p. 169). Indeed, while the 
aesthetic visions analyzed in the book aim for closure, Emery dwells in their details and 
ambiguities, offering terrific insights into numerous texts. 
Taking its name from an essay by Velimir Khlebnikov, Emery’s Vortex surveys several 
major Russian authors who propose ways of unifying the world through aesthetics, language, and 
corporeality. He reveals how various forms of totality represented in their work become 
entwined with “possessions” and linked to interactions with the human body, whether it be zaum' 
poetry moving readers’ mouths or ritualistic sacrifices transforming people in Vladimir 
Sorokin’s novels. 
 
As Emery acknowledges, The Vortex is not an encyclopedic account. Nonetheless, his 
book’s scope is capacious; in the introduction alone Emery puts into dialogue Schiller, Jakobson, 
Genette, Ronell, Pushkin, Gogol, Lukács, Belinsky, Chaadaev, Trubetskoi, Lunarcharsky, Groys, 
Herder, and many other to establish his argument. Given this range, I do wonder what female 
authors, none of whom appear in the book in any substantive way, might add for a more diverse 
discussion of this theme. 
Chapter 1 in particular examines “possession” as depicted by Konstantin Batiushkov, 
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Sigizmund Krzhizhanovsky, and Sorokin. These readings of disparate texts 
demonstrate how assorted possessions---linguistic, medical, discursive, propagandistic---lay bare 
the relationship between author and reader as one in which aesthetics are intended to mold and 
transform worldview. Each of these elements, rehearsed here in miniature, are given greater 
depth in later chapters, which mostly focus on single authors. 
In brief, chapter 2 ably establishes Lev Tolstoy’s conception of art as an emotional vector 
that can inoculate readers against negative feelings and, ultimately, merge humanity through its 
curative-pedagogic value as seen throughout his oeuvre, from diaries to Anna Karenina, from the 
short story “Lucerne” to What Is Art? Chapter 3 addresses Khlebnikov, Alexei Kruchenykh, and 
the Russian avant-garde, arguing that the Futurists’ fixation on a universal language “represent[s] 
a historical corrective to notions of world literature generated within the horizon of global 
capitalism” (p. 19). He briefly touches on how Futurist poetics, filtered through Jakobson’s 
Structuralist linguistics, became the bedrock for much of literary theory as we have come to 
know it---a claim that will likely be more provocative to those outside Slavic Studies. Chapter 4 
focuses on Osip Mandelstam’s Conversation with Dante “as a textual encounter” and statement 
on the poet’s “philosophy of reading” (pp. 115--16). Chapter 5 cleverly explores the significance 
 
of Humbert Humbert being both “madman” and literal perfume “adman,” an understudied detail 
in Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. 
The Vortex operates at its best when Emery zooms in on individual texts. His reading of 
Mandelstam’s Conversation, for example, as a work that uncomfortably flirts with authoritarian 
values, advances a nuanced understanding of Mandelstam’s aesthetics in the 1930s. The key 
image of the conductor’s baton becomes a means for controlling time (an essential element of 
art) and a tool (a weapon) by which the conductor (the dictator) not only manages musical 
dictation but also controls others---yet another possession. 
Likewise, Emery’s demonstration of how the language of advertising is encoded 
throughout Lolita is nothing short of brilliant. Its implications sharpen our understanding of 
Humbert Humbert’s linguistic deceptions and how, on a higher level, Nabokov plays with the 
symbolism of pop culture to complicate the ethics of both Lolita’s fictional world and our own. 
With the exception of the introduction, chapter 3, and the two-page afterword, all sections 
of the book are at least partly derived from articles published at various points since 2007. Such 
is the nature of academic publishing, and this does not detract from Emery’s intriguing readings. 
However, at times the connections between these very different pieces become diffuse and the 
definition of “totality” somewhat vague. Not every chapter must do the same thing, of course, 
but a greater sense of the how and why it all fits together, perhaps in a proper, more substantive 
conclusion, would have been appreciated for the sake of the The Vortex’s central claims about 
totality. 
Again, let none of the above detract from what Emery delivers. From the imperial 
hauntings of Batiushkov’s verse to the Futurist reworkings of the Bible, from Tolstoy’s 
 
communal art to Sorokin’s gross outs, he contributes much to our understandings of these texts 
and their engagements with the ever-urgent topic of totality in Russian literature. 


Review of \u3ci\u3eThe Vortex That Unites Us: Versions of Totality in Russian Literature\u3c/i\u3e, by Jacob Emery

Cook-Sather, Alison

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 38 Winter 2023 Article 1 
January 2023 
Learning and Unlearning through Pedagogical Partnership 
Alison Cook-Sather 
Bryn Mawr College 
Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe 
 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
Let us know how access to this document benefits you. 
Recommended Citation 
Cook-Sather, Alison "Learning and Unlearning through Pedagogical Partnership," Teaching and Learning 
Together in Higher Education: Iss. 38 (2023), https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss38/1 
LEARNING AND UNLEARNING THROUGH PEDAGOGICAL PARTNERSHIP 
  
 
Alison Cook-Sather, Mary Katharine Woodworth Professor of Education, Bryn Mawr College, 
and Director, Teaching and Learning Institute, Bryn Mawr and Haverford Colleges 
  
No one would debate the centrality of learning in relationships between teachers and students. 
But most focus on this process as a cumulative one—a matter of adding to and building on. As 
important is the less-explored process of unlearning—of recognizing, rethinking, and letting go 
of what no longer serves to further understanding and growth. On the syllabus of “Community 
Learning Collaborative: Practicing Partnership,” the introductory education course that 
colleagues and I teach at Bryn Mawr and Haverford Colleges, we write the following to orient 
students to the course: 
 
The goal of the course is to engage in and work towards educational justice by 
deepening knowledge, skills, and inquiries into the practice of relationships, 
facilitation, and change. To meet this goal, we work to dislodge from a settled  
concept and set of practices, into unlearning—peeling back inherited assumptions 
to make room for unfamiliar, unknown, and creative potentialities. By way of 
power analysis, freedom dreaming, and collective practice, we move into new 
knowledge and questions. 
 
This issue of Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education includes seven essays, each 
of which explores in its own way the power of learning and unlearning through pedagogical 
partnership. As my colleagues and I articulate in the syllabus excerpt above, such work entails 
both deepening knowledge, skills, and inquiries and dislodging from settled concepts and 
practices. The authors of these essays engage in courageous and humble ways in analyzing the 
power dynamics always at play in the workings of higher education and in efforts to reimagine 
that education. They name and challenge multiple intersecting structures of oppression and both 
dream of and strive to enact alternatives. Through collective practice—working together in 
partnership—these authors let go of some of what hinders affirmation of wellbeing and 
productive change. 
 
The processes of learning and unlearning the authors of these essays document are closely 
intertwined, as the essays’ authors articulate in various ways, with experiences of empowerment.  
As one of my colleagues and co-authors of the excerpt above notes, empowerment comes about 
through revision of oppressive knowledge/inheritance (unlearning) that was at first experienced 
as natural, inevitable. It also comes through the reclaiming of what that knowledge covered as 
other channels of possibility. The relational center of partnership, so clearly conveyed in these 
authors’ analyses, affords participants in this work a ready context in which to interact on the 
basis of different knowledge, creating much more expansive relationships and selves. The 
empowerment student and faculty partners experience and share in these essays is linked with 
finding a sense of wholeness, healing from trauma, developing trust in one’s self, and supporting 
the development of confidence and capacity in others.  
 
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Cook-Sather: Learning and Unlearning through Pedagogical Partnership
In “THE F@$#-UP’S GUIDE TO RECLAIMING AND REIMAGINING MY STUDENT IDENTITY 
THROUGH PEDAGOGICAL PARTNERSHIPS,” Jay Adams, Berea College, Class of 2022, narrates 
their journey and the insights they gained into how they had been burdened by their past “in a 
way that felt impossibly heavy.” They explain how, through partnership work, they “would begin 
to let go of those burdens and reclaim—and reimagine—[their] student identity.” Jay explores 
“reconsideration of the self”—a learning what that self can do and an unlearning of what it 
cannot do. Through pedagogical partnership work, Jay writes, “students are able to gain a new 
perspective on themselves, a new idea of wholeness.” 
 
In “FROM STUDENT CONSULTING AT MY LIBERAL ARTS INSTITUTION TO APPLYING TO LAW 
SCHOOL,” Kaylyn (Kayo) Piper Stewart, Bryn Mawr College, Class of 2023, focuses on how 
partnership fostered “healing from personal educational trauma” and inspiration to become a 
lawyer. In her conclusion she asserts: “[This partnership work] changed my life, and I will carry 
with me into my study of law the insights I gained into how to recognize trauma…[and]… 
advocate for others.” The unlearning here is that a predominantly white institution like Bryn 
Mawr College might have no space for “a first-generation college student from Houston, Texas, 
and a Black woman,” as Kayo describes herself; the learning is that Kayo has the passion and 
capacity to be “someone who fights for justice for all but also teaches people that differences 
should be celebrated and respected rather than ridiculed and seen as a threat.” 
 
In “STUDENT VOICES AS THE COMMON THREAD THROUGH CHANGING PEDAGOGICAL 
PARTNERSHIPS,” Viktoriya Bardenova, Graduate of Florida Gulf Coast University, and Brenda 
L. Thomas, Director of the University Colloquium at Florida Gulf Coast University, reflect on 
three partnerships in which they engaged together: when Viktoriya worked as an undergraduate 
student consultant in Brenda’s introductory sustainability course; when the two of them 
redesigned an in-person section of the course after Brenda had taught it online for three 
consecutive semesters in response to the COVID-19 pandemic; and when Viktoriya enrolled as a 
student in the same sustainability course that she had helped Brenda redesign. This multi-part, 
“unconventional” partnership, as Viktoriya and Brenda call it, afforded multiple opportunities for 
learning and unlearning, specifically “revising the traditional student-faculty roles by including 
student voices.” Viktoriya specifies that she “learned that even giving students ownership of 
parts of the teaching and learning process gives them agency and a sense of accountability for 
their learning.” Brenda offers insight into an important unlearning: that she was “still clinging to 
some control” regarding a particular assignment, which Viktoriya helped her let go of through 
“the process of developing a trusting and comfortable working relationship” in which Viktoriya’s 
“suggestions no longer felt like criticisms.” 
 
In “TRUSTING THE PROCESS: THE POWER OF A STUDENT-FACULTY PARTNERSHIP,” Minahil 
Tariq, Lahore University of Management Sciences, Class of 2023, writes about her partnership 
with a faculty member focused on designing a criminology course that would include themes 
from sociology, political science, and anthropology. Minahil details the process of designing the 
curriculum and the parallel process of learning and unlearning in which she engaged through the 
partnership. About her unlearning, Minahil writes: “I unlearned two complementary things: that 
only faculty can bring subject-matter knowledge to course design, and that I was incapable of 
contributing to the course design.”  
 
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“EMPOWERING DIVERSE STUDENT VOICES THROUGH PEDAGOGICAL PARTNERSHIP: 
EXPANDING PERSPECTIVE FOR INCREASING RELEVANCE AND ACCESS TO CURRICULUM AND 
LEARNING” is co-authored by Lorna Hayward, PT, DPT, EdD, MPH, Associate Professor of 
Physical Therapy; Heidi Cheerman, PT, DPT, MS, NCS Assistant Clinical Professor of Physical 
Therapy; Isabella Addison, Physical Therapy Student ‘22, ’23; and Lucy Zeng, Physical Therapy 
Student ’24, all of Northeastern University. These co-authors describe their process of 
participating in a book group on Promoting Equity and Justice through Pedagogical 
Partnership. Each both learned and unlearned key lessons that will inform their sense of self and 
their subsequent work. As one student co-author, Lucy, notes, her Chinese heritage had 
previously felt like “a constant barrier that kept me from completely fitting in and understanding 
my classmates and teachers.” However, exploring the conceptual framework offered in the book, 
she explains, “provided a sense of affirmation that empowered me to talk about these experiences 
with some of my friends”—conversations that fostered learning and unlearning how 
one’s identity can be experienced. Another student partner, Izzy, describes her learning that “a 
nagging sense of discontent that had no tangible words to accurately describe how I was feeling” 
could be replaced by “an eloquent way to understand and discuss the qualities that a student 
brings to the classroom and, more importantly, how these qualities contribute to negative 
experiences when they are ignored or dismissed.” One faculty co-author, Lorna, writes: “With 
each conversation with our team, I am surprised by how much I learn, how careful I need to be in 
conversation, and how I can serve as a catalyst for facilitating a social justice driven learning 
community that includes a voice for students. I am amazed and humbled by the wisdom, 
experiences, and suggestions that the students have shared with me.” And second faculty co-
author, Heidi, writes: “I have gained a greater appreciation of the power of pedagogical 
partnerships and the role I play as an educator to create a brave safe space for students to find, 
know, and share their voices.”  
 
The final two essays in this issue focus on student partners fostering the development of 
confidence and capacity in their faculty partners, specifically through supporting reflection. In 
“OPENING SPACE FOR REFLECTION,” Olivia Harkins-Finn, Bryn Mawr College, Class of 2023, 
describes how she shifted from bringing to her partnership work already formed, and potentially 
impositional, perspectives to framing questions in ways that allow her faculty partners “to come 
to conclusions on their own.” In her essay Olivia situates this important learning and unlearning 
in relation to facilitation of reflection in a larger appreciation of reflection as a way of engaging. 
She concludes with thoughts on how she will take this embrace of reflection into her future work 
as a museum educator. In her words: “My time as a Student Consultant has provided me with 
space to imagine and inspired me to create and support these opportunities for others.” 
 
Theo Smith, Haverford College, Class of 2023, also focuses on supporting faculty reflection in 
“PERSPECTIVES AND PEDAGOGY: USING PARTNERSHIP PRACTICE AS AN AVENUE TO SHARE, 
REFLECT ON, AND ADJUST PERSPECTIVE.” Theo’s essay reminds us that, because perspective is 
always shifting, we are always both learning and unlearning. Theo offers his insights on the 
importance of perspective in learning and teaching, shares the kinds of questions he asks his 
faculty partners that invite reflection on and sharing of perspectives, and discusses the power of 
making multiple perspectives transparent and the equity implications of reflection on 
perspectives. Theo reminds us that: “The basic identities that pedagogical partnership brings into 
dialogue are teacher and student, but each individual teacher and student approach that 
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positionality as an intersection of their own multiple identities. Making space for and supporting 
reflection on those can contribute to shifting power dynamics and making classrooms more 
collaborative, meaningful spaces of learning.”  
 
Taken together, these essays that reflect on partnership across contexts—Berea College, Bryn 
Mawr College, Florida Gulf Coast University, Haverford College, Lahore University of 
Management Sciences, and Northeastern University—constitute and contribute to collective 
practices that affirm wellbeing and facilitate productive change. Through unlearning what might 
seem natural and inevitable and learning through new channels of possibility, these partnership 
practitioners and authors create more expansive relationships and selves. This is not easy work, 
but it is full of hope. 
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Learning and Unlearning through Pedagogical Partnership

Bardenova, Viktoriya

Thomas, Brenda L

Student Voices as the Common Thread through Changing Pedagogical Partnerships

Harkins-Finn, Olivia

Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education 
Volume 1 
Issue 38 Winter 2023 Article 7 
January 2023 
Opening Space for Reflection 
Olivia Harkins-Finn 
Bryn Mawr College 
Follow this and additional works at: https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe 
 Part of the Higher Education and Teaching Commons 
Let us know how access to this document benefits you. 
Recommended Citation 
Harkins-Finn, Olivia "Opening Space for Reflection," Teaching and Learning Together in Higher Education: 
Iss. 38 (2023), https://repository.brynmawr.edu/tlthe/vol1/iss38/7 
OPENING SPACE FOR REFLECTION  
 
Olivia Harkins-Finn, Bryn Mawr College, Class of 2023 
 
 
Introduction 
 
“You know we all have that one hour a week to go to the galleries, but it’s 
always so hard for us to find time to do that.”  
“It’s even challenging for us to make time to eat lunch not at our desks.”  
“When I was first hired here, Mike brought up that there could be a space where 
I could go to pray. Maybe we can make a meditation space.”  
 
As I sat and listened to the museum professionals around me discuss needing time for rest and 
reflection, I felt grateful. Being in a work environment where this type of conversation was not 
only welcomed but prompted felt rare. It is not really something I expected I would experience 
as part of the bi-weekly Learning and Interpretation departmental meetings during my summer 
internship at the Toledo Museum of Art.  
 
After this particular meeting ended, I felt a sense of peace that stayed with me as I walked home 
and all the way to my next meeting of the day, a Writing Circle session with three other 
undergraduates. The four of us are Student Consultants in the Students as Learners and Teachers 
(SaLT) program through the Teaching and Learning Institute at Bryn Mawr and Haverford 
Colleges. During the academic year, we and other undergraduates work in pedagogical 
partnerships with individual faculty members, groups of faculty, staff, and students, or whole 
academic departments to support discussion and critical thinking on teaching and learning within 
and beyond the classroom. This summer, though, we were meeting via Zoom to draft reflective 
essays about our partnership work.  
 
As we usually do during our Writing Circles, we spent about 20 minutes doing some silent 
freewriting about our consulting experiences. As I thought and wrote a bit about some of my key 
consulting moments, I kept coming back to the theme of reflection. I suddenly came to the 
realization that I was feeling so connected to reflection as a vital element of the pedagogical 
partnership work because of the experience I just had in my internship meeting. As an employee 
of the Toledo Museum of Art, I was feeling thankful that we were all given space to talk about a 
need for mindfulness and calm, and I realized that this might be how professors or departments 
in a partnership feel when working with a Student Consultant: not only welcomed into but also 
supported in reflection.  
 
 
Learning to Facilitate Reflection 
 
My first partnership through the SaLT program was with the department in which I am pursuing 
my undergraduate major. This opportunity emerged for me because of a conversation I sparked 
in a departmental gathering prior to becoming a Student Consultant. I had brought up a question 
about order and structure in departmental offerings and how those opened but also constrained 
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Harkins-Finn: Opening Space for Reflection
learning spaces for students, and several faculty members expressed an interest in continuing this 
conversation. After reading about this experience in my application to be a Student Consultant, 
the director of the SaLT program suggested I offer to facilitate a series of reflective 
conversations with the department through the SaLT program. A number of the faculty in the 
department were excited about this new opportunity, so we established a regular time to meet. 
 
Learning how to open spaces of reflection for faculty as a Student Consultant, particularly as a 
student who works with those same faculty in other roles, was not a straightforward process. I 
was eager to offer suggestions, but during weekly meetings with the director of the SaLT 
program and other Student Consultants, I learned that opening such space for reflection includes 
providing questions that let faculty come to conclusions on their own. Prior to my first meeting 
with the department, I had come to our weekly Student Consultant meeting with a few questions 
I was thinking of asking in the upcoming conversation. I had not fully thought about it this way, 
but after sharing my questions with other Student Consultants and the director, we all discussed 
how the questions were far too leading. Posing leading questions might have made the faculty 
feel criticized, leading to defensiveness not only through negative responses but also in the form 
of a person becoming more guarded and less comfortable or eager to continue talking. Although 
it would be valuable for everyone to work towards responding more openly to constructive 
criticism, that is unfortunately not something I can directly control as a Student Consultant. What 
I can control, however, is being very thoughtful about what I say and ask so that those I am 
speaking with feel open to reflection and critical thinking.  
 
Working through this with the other Students Consultants and the director, I landed on bringing 
the question: “What pedagogical practices are valued and centered in our discipline and why?” 
During the meeting with the department, in response to the question, the faculty discussed many 
ideas, including theory, the image of practitioner of this discipline, graduate vs. undergraduate 
pedagogies, and, very importantly, the reputation of the department on campus. This last one was 
particularly in relation to students and their level of comfort in courses. Practicing the 
importance of allowing faculty to come to conclusions on their own, I would chime in 
occasionally during the conversation to affirm certain points, ask further questions or share some 
of my own experiences as a student in the department. I would not insert many overt opinions 
but rather contribute what I felt would continue to foster a space of reflection.  
 
Towards the middle of the first meeting, still considering the initial question of what pedagogical 
practices are valued and centered in the discipline and why?, faculty began asking “What are the 
basic/foundational skills of the discipline?” One professor expressed that at a certain point in her 
career, she deeply considered this question and came up with, what she felt, are the four basic 
skills of the discipline. As soon as she said this, I saw many faculty get ready to write these four 
skills down. Some faculty even expressed their excitement and eagerness to hear these 
foundational skills. The way the group reacted to one faculty sharing these four skills made it 
clear that this was not something any of them had ever talked about together previously. Just like 
I felt grateful for that discussion of mindfulness and reflection at my departmental meeting for 
my internship, I imagine these professors felt appreciative that they had a space to share and hear 
thoughts regarding the discipline they have devoted their careers to.  
 
 
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Mutual Reflection in Partnership 
 
Since facilitating conversations with one academic department, I have had two semester-long 
partnerships with individual faculty members who are in entirely different fields from my major 
area of study. These have both entailed attending the professor’s class once a week to take 
observational notes as well as a one-on-one weekly meeting. Although I felt reflective during the 
conversations I facilitated my first semester as a Student Consultant, my work with individual 
faculty members the following semesters has taught me new ways in which reflection is central 
to the work of both Student Consultants and faculty partners. A concrete example of this is the 
observational notes I send to my faculty partner each week. As I observe their class, I take notes 
on what I see happening. Then, usually after a few days, I return to the observations I recorded 
and add reflections to each instance I describe. This process is incredibly reflective. As I read 
over my observations, I pause and consider—and write reflective notes on—what struck me as 
effective in my faculty partner’s practice as well as what could be adjusted. Completing my 
observational notes is always a challenge because adding reflections truly demands that I pause 
and think. This process never fails to remind me that reflecting on moments as small as a one-
minute dialogue between a student and professor can be incredibly generative and important. 
Observational notes push me to open space for my own reflection and fuel the energy I then 
bring to my professor partner. 
 
Pedagogical partnerships in the SaLT program allow for a lot of freedom in terms of structure 
and focus. What remains consistent, however, is the presence of and necessity for reflection. The 
consideration of seemingly small moments and details is also a practice my current pedagogical 
partner and I bring to our weekly meetings. We often go through lecture slides and consider 
areas where there is room for improvement. An example of this is thinking together about how to 
make the explanation of complex concepts more engaging and digestible for students. Taking a 
moment to pause and think about whether various strategies can be implemented to increase 
student engagement and understanding is seemingly simple. This kind of reflection, however, is 
not a process that professors tend to have the encouragement or space for regularly. Asking my 
professor partner something as straightforward as “How could you do this differently?” creates 
space for re-imagining their pedagogy. Intentionally, my professor partner is not the only one 
thinking through these challenging questions. Each week I bring a critical lens to my recorded 
observations. We are both asking ourselves and each other similar questions, and each of us 
offers expertise in two imperative areas. My partner brings their knowledge of the subject area 
they teach, and I bring my experience of being a current student.  
 
 
Conclusion: Carrying Forward an Appreciation for Reflection  
 
As I have opened space for faculty and other Bryn Mawr and Haverford College community 
members to reflect, I have simultaneously practiced critical reflection myself. My engagement in 
and appreciation for my time interning in the Learning and Interpretation department at the 
Toledo Museum of Art, which I reference in my opening paragraph, is, in part, thanks to my 
work as a Student Consultant. Asking questions has always been important to me, and I have 
learned through my consulting work that carefully crafted questions can deepen my own 
reflection and support the reflection of those faculty members I work with in partnership. I am 
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Harkins-Finn: Opening Space for Reflection
partially drawn to museum education, specifically at an art museum, because I want to cultivate 
and foster imagination amongst people of all ages. This brings me back not only to the power of 
posing questions, but also to the importance of questions that allow space for those considering 
them to generate ideas and responses on their own. Imagination requires a sense of freedom to 
think outside constraints we often feel. My time as a Student Consultant has provided me with 
space to imagine and inspired me to create and support these opportunities for others.  
 
 
 
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