Reflective Practice - Formation and Supervision in Ministry (E-Journal)

Introduction to Section 5 mentoring in a pluralistic context

Floding, Matthew

SECTION 5: MENTORING FOR MINISTRY IN A PLURALISTIC CONTEXT: Editors' Introduction           Matthew Floding

Understanding mentoring in Ministry in Judaism

Helene Bretan, Gail

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Mentoring for Ministry in Judaism 
Gail Helene Bretan1 
 
INTRODUCTION AND BACKGROUND 
Shalom! It is a delight to share my experience of Jewish mentorship in interfaith settings. 
Although I am currently the Associate Chaplain for Jewish Life at Wake Forest 
University, I have prior experience with the Jewish Family Services of the Greensboro 
Jewish Federation in North Carolina, at the Commission for Jewish Education in West 
Palm Beach, Florida, and as a volunteer and board member of many synagogues and 
Jewish organizations. Concurrent with my present work responsibilities, I am attending 
rabbinical school at the Academy for Jewish Religion in Yonkers, New York. 
Rabbinical school, as with divinity school, is an essential step in obtaining 
ordination. Studying the sacred texts in Hebrew (or Aramaic), learning and practicing the 
rituals, singing the liturgy, living the Jewish life cycle, and understanding the 5,780 years 
of Jewish history, Jewish thought, Jewish practice, and Jewish living can take as many as 
five years of full-time study. Many of you work within divinity schools and religious 
organizations, so you understand the splendor and complexity of our educational 
systems and teachings. 
One of the beautiful aspects of Judaism is that there is no one single theological 
prescription for life but rather a spectrum of beliefs, rituals, and values. Judaism is not 
monolithic. Judaism as a faith is based on challenge. The first patriarch, Abraham, 
challenged the system of idolatry practiced by his father and others at that time. He 
challenged G-d to find good within the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah. And 
challenge is at the heart of Jewish education. Within Jewish thought and action, learners 
are expected to challenge the texts (even the sacred ones), their teachers, their own 
understanding, and even G-d/the Divine, just as Abraham did. It is through challenge, 
and reflection, that one learns and grows. 
 
MENTORING ACROSS DIFFERENCE 
As the Associate Chaplain for Jewish Life at Wake Forest University, I “minister” 
to the entire community, not just the Jewish community. I have also ministered and 
mentored formally and informally in other interfaith settings most of my career. Many of 
the divinity school, social work, education, and religion department students I mentored 
over the years were told as children not to challenge their beliefs, their clergy, or their    
 
1 Gail Helen Bretan is associate chaplain for Jewish life at Wake Forest University. Email: 
bretangh@wfu.edu 
259 
 
 
G-d. Now, presented with a myriad of ways in which belief and practice are manifested 
by other students, their teachers, their institutions, and their readings, these students 
sometimes become anxious or confused. My belief and experience is that such challenges 
do not in any way diminish one’s beliefs or practices but should deepen them. This is 
important because there are often fundamental differences in the ways Jews and 
Christians see the world, the Divine, each other, and even the mentoring relationship.  
So, how do I define mentorship? As someone who has spent way too much time 
looking at the definitions of many experts in the field, I do not see the mentor relationship 
as a hierarchy or as having an innate power differential. I approach mentorship, as I do 
any relationship with (an)other, as a Buberian “I-Thou” relationship. Martin Buber (1878–
1965) was an Austrian philosopher best known for his philosophy of dialogue, a form of 
existentialism centered on the distinction between the I–Thou relationship (deep personal 
mutual connections) and the I–It relationship (a transactional impersonal connection). 
Buber was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature ten times and the Nobel Peace 
Prize seven times. 
Rescuing human relationships from the transactional I-It paradigm offered by 
most Western philosophies, the I-Thou paradigm is a horizontal, not vertical, relationship 
infused with divine energy and interpersonal respect in which both parties listen deeply, 
care deeply, share deeply, and learn deeply. 
 
APPLYING THREE PREMISES 
My model of interfaith mentorship is based on three premises: 
1. People enjoy free will and are co-creators in partnership with the Divine 
(mentorship) at every moment (i.e., are in an I-Thou relationship with the 
Divine) and with each other (humans). 
2. In order to mentor and be mentored, one should aim to embody and live 
the values identified, shared, and learned within the relationship.  
3. In order to mentor and be mentored, one must ask questions and 
challenge the “Other,” whether divine or human. 
If I convey this to you, and if you understand these premises in terms of how you can use 
them to mentor, then I have done my job of mentoring you! 
 
BUILDING THE RELATIONSHIP 
In Judaism, a good question is better than a great answer. One learns much from 
the questions that people ask, sometimes more than the answers themselves provide. 
When I am first meeting with a potential mentee or intern, I sit down and chat to learn 
more about them and why they want to enter such a relationship. During the “interview,” 
I sit without a table between us, with nothing blocking our connections. I keep an open 
stance, in body movements, emotional energy, intellectual curiosity, and divine presence. 
I invite potential mentees to share their successes but also their failures, as well as their 
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expectations, so we can build a realistic picture of the present moment and how to move 
forward. Once agreeing to the mentorship relationship, we use these meetings to write 
up learning outcomes and an agreement, including a job description, possible 
assignments, and working hours.  
Mentorship tips: 
● Be open to new relationships and (divine) presences, changing relationships, 
hope, and radical love. 
● Find the balance between informal connections and formal organizational 
structures. 
● Do not be afraid to tap into your wellspring of divine energy and let it guide 
you. If you truly listen, people (and the Divine) will open up to you (and within 
you). 
● Having written expectations and agreements and job descriptions is important 
since it is easier to refer back to a piece of paper than to faded or distorted 
memories. 
 
OVERCOMING OBSTACLES 
While mentoring, it is not uncommon for me to learn that a student has failed in a 
previous internship or mentoring relationships. When that happens, I find ways to make 
sure that this previous negative experience does not interfere with our present internship. 
Therefore, when able, I invite both the student and their previous supervisor-mentor to 
sit together with me to explore what went wrong, what went right, and what I should be 
aware of in our present mentorship relationship to avoid those similar issues. In that 
meeting, it often becomes clear that the student and the supervisor-mentor made 
assumptions about each other that were not correct and that they did not have the type 
of relationship to challenge those assumptions or seek a reality check. I find that once the 
air is cleared between these previous internship relations, a weight is lifted from both 
parties that carries positively into our relationship. 
Mentoring tip: 
● Address the past honestly, and do not let it control your present or future. 
 
ASSIGNING POSITIVE TASKS 
A mentoring relationship is built on trust. If one member of the relationship feels 
censored, misunderstood, or disrespected, then the relationship, and the ability to learn, 
has the potential to also fail. Often the mentee or the mentor wants to show only their 
positive, or successful, side. But life is not that way. This is the “Facebook syndrome,” 
where people often post only their best days or accomplishments. As the reader of such 
posts, it is easy to become depressed when comparing these apex moments of others with 
one’s normal life experiences. The other side of Facebook is the people who only post 
their worst days. However, the reality is that most people have both good and bad days. 
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This is how it is in mentor relationships. The mentee will sometimes compare themselves 
to the mentor who has much more education and experience, leaving the mentee feeling 
lacking. That is why it is important for the mentor to praise, not just critique, the mentee 
and to share about themselves, especially personal stories of overcoming failure.  
Once, I handed over my favorite program, an interfaith Bible study (from a Jewish 
perspective on the Hebrew Bible), to a school of divinity intern, a deeply spiritual 
Christian woman of color, to lead. We started with discussing how we each facilitate Bible 
study. I like to give participants different versions of the Bible (Jewish and Christian) with 
different translations, have everyone read a line and discuss it, look at the commentaries, 
have group members share their worldviews, and discover if there is a lesson that might 
apply (or not) to contemporary society. When I facilitate the process, it is fine if we spend 
the entire time on one line or if we end up reading the entire chapter. My intern, on the 
other hand, wanted to, instead, choose five stories to elucidate, and she wanted to make 
sure we covered an entire story in each session. The intern reread the stories from the 
Hebrew Bible, using the JPS translation, which is closest to the original Hebrew, and then 
read commentaries from a variety of sources and perspectives. When she read the Jewish 
interpretations, she ran them through the prism of her Christian and personal 
interpretations, asking great questions and broadening her perspective. During the 
process, I asked great questions as well and offered suggestions when appropriate. I also 
provided loving feedback after the sessions were over and in private. Our job as mentors 
is not only to find fault but to be generous with authentic praise, pointing out the gifts 
that our mentee brings that they did not even know they possessed. Although this was 
not the way that I led a Bible study, I totally enjoyed being a participant instead of the 
facilitator, and I learned new ways of facilitation and of interpretation, for which I am 
grateful. 
Mentoring tips: 
● Develop a caring and respectful relationship. 
● Offer continuous feedback throughout the process, affirming as well as critical. 
● Ask great questions. 
● Be open to incorporating what you learn from your mentee.  
 
DEVELOPING MUTUALITY 
I believe that mentorship is a mutual experience. There are times that it is 
important for me to give up old systems and embrace new ways of doing things. One of 
the most difficult things for a mentor to do is to share power. But I feel that is part of the 
process. In allowing students to figure out their best way (not the mentor’s) of doing a 
task more efficiently and effectively, students can try out new ways of doing and being 
in real time, and both parties can learn from the experience 
As mentors, we often get stuck in patterns that served us years ago when we 
started a project but are now no longer as effective or efficient. By allowing students to 
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take over some of our roles and tasks, we actually model ways to receive. Yes, there are 
bound to be a few bumps along the way. When that happens, we discuss the failure, 
correct our course, and try again. Often, it is difficult for a mentee to receive criticism or 
feedback. When they see their mentor accept criticism and feedback graciously and 
gratefully, however, they can learn new ways to receive as well. In ministry, we often 
seek to give but not to receive. That is a mistake. Receiving is an important and learnable 
skill. One should be open to receiving—how else can one accept the divine presence if 
one is not open to receiving? 
This also highlights the Jewish concept of experiential education—“learning by 
doing.” Telling a mentor what to do is not enough; it is only through the act of doing that 
one can truly learn and incorporate the learning. And we often learn more from our 
mistakes than our successes. It takes a special mentoring relationship in which both 
mentor and mentee can fail in a safe and loving environment to transcend that failure 
individually and collectively. 
Mentoring tip: 
● Be open to experience, receiving, failure, and gratitude. 
 
PROJECTING, OBSERVING, AND/OR INTERACTING WITH THE “OTHER” 
How does one navigate the space of an “Other”? And how does one navigate the 
space of one’s mind in projecting one’s experience onto another group of people? 
When I was in elementary school, we were the only Jewish family in our neighborhood 
in Oklahoma. Every year, our neighbors invited me to join them at Christian summer 
Bible camp. I attended and loved it! When I listened to their prayers and songs, I could 
hear the Hebrew Bible passages, Hebrew prayers, and liturgical songs that I learned in 
Jewish Sunday school. It was beautiful! It was my first taste of interfaith connection. I 
could have been considered an outsider by my friends, their classmates, and the 
administration. And, ironically, I could have also considered myself an outsider. 
Thankfully, we all felt comfortable. However, I think about how my identity at that 
moment shaped my experience, and that informs me to check to see how my 
interns/mentees see themselves in these interfaith situations. 
I can understand when non-Jewish students feel initially “on the outside” with 
events or interactions with Jewish students or people. I remember a particular social work 
student who joined us at Jewish Family Services. She was delightful, and our Jewish 
elders loved her. But there was an underlying problem. She feared that the elders would 
stop liking her if they found out she was not Jewish, and that inhibited her from bringing 
her authentic and whole self to her internship. I sensed a hesitation at times, so I asked. 
It turned out that she was projecting onto the elders how she perceived her grandmother 
might react to learning that someone helping her was Jewish. That was because her 
grandmother had a negative, suspicious viewpoint of Jews, a view that the intern did not 
share. Yet, thinking about her grandmother’s reactions unconsciously affected this 
263 
 
 
intern’s interactions until we talked about it. In our caring environment, we chatted until 
she realized that she feared that the Jewish senior citizens would not love, or worse yet, 
not respect, her if they found out she was Christian. She had projected onto them 
something not real. The elders did not think about her or act any differently upon 
learning that she was not Jewish; they loved the services and interactions she offered. 
Thereafter, this social work intern shared her background without embarrassment or 
apology. Religion should not be an obstacle to seeing one’s humanity.  
Indeed, I have seen other interns and students sit in the corner and observe when 
first interacting with Jewish students or people, especially when the intern is of a different 
race. The mentees sometimes project onto themselves a negative vibe from the students, 
projecting how they might feel if someone else was in “their space.” And yet, the Jewish 
students do not feel this way. Eventually, the interns/mentees leave their self-imposed 
space and join the group. In doing so, many amazing connections occur.  
Mentoring tips: 
● Stay in the moment and interact authentically within groups.  
● Do not exempt yourself from the group. Be aware of your own projections, 
stereotypes, biases, and religious prisms. 
● When in doubt, ask! Remember the importance of great questions. 
● Appreciate your background and allow your interactions with other religions 
and denominations to deepen your faith and the respect you have for other faiths, 
as well as your own. 
 
FINAL THOUGHTS 
Judaism is about action and doing. It is important to me as a mentor to be a good 
role model as well as a good peer in a respectful, caring, and authentic relationship. My 
Jewish mentorship paradigm is based on the Havruta model. The word Havruta derives 
from the Hebrew root for “friend” and is a special dyadic relationship in which each 
partner offers feedback to the other’s interpretations (of text and) of life. When two people 
learn together, it is better than learning alone. If one makes a mistake, the other can 
correct. And as we know, it is easier to see mistakes in others than in ourselves. The 
mentor relationship works like a mirror, reflecting the humanity of the other person. 
It is also important in Judaism to tell stories. Stories remain one of the best ways 
to teach—across cultures, religions, and time. In classic mentoring, the stories about the 
mentor’s experiences are a guide for mentee learning. Remember to use stories whenever 
possible for mentees to explore options they had not previously considered. The Jewish 
tradition has always valued learning with others, whether with teachers or other 
students. 
As it says in Pirkei Avot, “Sayings of our Ancestors,” which is a compilation of the 
ethical teachings and maxims in the Talmud passed down through the generations, from 
Moses to the rabbis:  
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Rabbi Yishmael used to say: He who learns in order to teach will be enabled both 
to learn and to teach. But he who learns in order to practice will be enabled to 
learn, to teach, to observe, and to practice. (Pirkei Avot, 4:5) 
 
SUMMARY 
● Ask questions and challenge yourself and your mentee. 
● Truly listen carefully and caringly. 
● Give and receive in order to model. 
● Be authentic in your humanity. 
● Show respect to all. 
● In order not to assume or project, ask questions and challenge. 
 
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION 
1. Question and challenge: How do you challenge yourself? How do you allow others to 
challenge you? How do you hone your ability to ask great questions? 
2. Authenticity: How do you show your authentic self? What masks do you use to cover 
your vulnerabilities? Why? 
3. Power: How do you see your power, both within yourself and outside yourself and 
also in the mentoring relationship? How does one “share” power? What are the benefits 
(and drawbacks) of you sharing your power? 
 
SUGGESTED READINGS 
Buber, Martin. I and Thou. Translated by Walter Kaufmann. New York: Touchstone, 1996. 
Dorff, Elliot N. with Cory Wilson. The Jewish Approach to Repairing the World (Tikkun Olam): 
A Brief Introduction for Christians. Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights Publishing, 2008. 
Heschel, Abraham Joshua. God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism. New York: Farrar, 
Strauss, and Giroux, 1983. 
Schuster, Diane Tickton. Jewish Lives, Jewish Learning: Adult Jewish Learning in Theory and 
Practice. New York: UAHC Press, 2003. 
Telushkin, Joseph. The Book of Jewish Values: A Day-by-Day Guide to Ethical Living. New 
York: BellTower, 2000. 


English

Mentoring for Ministry in Judaism

Multiple sides of a love story, grief, trauma, healing and fait

Bullock, Judy

A Time to Mourn & a Time to Dance: A love Story of Grief, Trauma, Healing, and Faith    by  Jennifer Ohman-Rodriguez

THEME OF 2024 VOLUME OF REFLECTIVE PRACTIC

LOOKING AHEAD: THEME FOR THE 2024 ISSUE

Understanding mentoring for ministry in Hinduism

Sharma, Madhu

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Mentoring for Ministry in Hinduism 
Madhu Sharma1 
 
Hinduism is a way of spiritual life. It is called Sanatan Dharma, meaning dharma (religion) 
of truth. There are five basic principles of Hinduism. 
 
FIVE PRINCIPLES OF HINDUISM 
One God: Hindus believe in one supreme power. There are many different 
manifestations of the same God. Some common names of these manifestations are Ram 
and Sita, Krishna and Radha, Shiva and Parvathi. Hindus believe in all religions and 
spiritualities. It is a very diverse and open-minded religion. There is no conversion from 
another religion to Hinduism since Hindus believe in all religions. This approach to other 
religions exemplifies the fact that Hindus believe in the concept of coexistence and respect 
for people of all faiths. 
Human Betterment: A goal in the life of a Hindu is to become a better person in 
this lifetime. A successful life is one in which a person is better at their death than they 
were at birth. Basically, Hinduism is about learning to be a kind, compassionate, and 
giving person. One Supreme God is a combination of male and female traits together. 
The Hindu Divine is a combination of the male and the female together. There is a concept 
of Ardha Nari Eswera, meaning half male and half female Divine, such as Shiva and 
Shakthi. This is why Hindus worship female goddesses as well as male gods, each 
worshiped in their unique way and with some differences in rituals. For example, Ram 
and Sita are always worshiped together. It is believed that no Hindu ritual is complete if 
performed by a man or woman alone; they have to be performed as a couple, respecting 
both genders equally. Hinduism professes respect for males and females as they perform 
their duties and roles in a family as well as in the community setting. So, it is a religion 
of gender equality. 
There is no other human between an individual and God: Hindus have a direct 
line to the Divine. They don’t need to go through anyone else to get to God. It is a very 
flat organizational structure. All living beings report directly to God. To further explain 
this concept, the divine power or God is represented by an ocean, and all humans are part 
of that ocean. So, we each have the same qualities as the Divine and the same capabilities 
to change ourselves to become godlike. The concept is that everyone has the same 
qualities as the divine power, and those same qualities are part of all humans. So, this 
 
1Madhu Sharma is author of the book Dharmic Advisor: A Modern Way. She has a BS in chemical 
engineering from North Carolina State, an MSW from the University of Iowa, and is earning a PhD in 
Hinduism from Hindu University of America. She served formerly as a Hindu Chaplain at Duke 
University and a Hindu Campus Minister at the University of North Carolina. 
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concept dictates that all humans are equal no matter their race, color of their skin, or their 
belief system. Diversity is the cornerstone of the Hindu religion. 
Karma theory: Karma theory is fairly well known and is very similar to the biblical 
principle “As you sow, so shall you reap.” Whichever way a person spends their energy, 
its rewards will come back to them. The concept is similar to the scientific principle 
“Energy is neither created nor destroyed.” So, whatever human beings do, whether well 
or poorly, the reward will come back to them the same way. Of course, it is not quite that 
simple; how the reward comes back gets a bit complicated. Intention plays a big part in 
this concept. Even thoughts play a big role in this theory. So, if a person simply thinks of 
harming or helping another human being, they have already performed the karma, even 
if they have not actually acted upon that thought. Although the consequences are not as 
severe as if they had actually carried their intentions out, the karma is registered in the 
karma log. There are variations of the karma, with a lot of details, but the principles 
remain the same. 
Reincarnation: Hindus believe in reincarnation, which means they believe that 
they are reborn in another body after they die. Human beings take all their karmas with 
them when they are reborn in another life. In our daily lives, most humans change their 
clothes but remain in the same body. Similarly, the soul carries their karmas but “wears” 
a different body after rebirth. This reincarnation concept takes the pressure off the Hindu; 
they don’t have to get moksha (salvation) in this lifetime; they will have a few other 
lifetimes to accomplish their life goal of moksha. This gives a person free will and the 
responsibility to act according to their wishes. If they want a good life, then they need to 
act accordingly in this life, but if they don’t, they will have a life in their next life that is 
based on their actions in their current life. So, Hinduism is a religion of free will. God 
does not play a part in giving one a good or bad life but provides human beings with 
support and helps them make better choices. Remorse, forgiveness, and praying also play 
large roles, which are detailed in the oldest scriptures, the Vedas. 
 
HINDU GURUS AND PUNDITS 
Vedas are the original scriptures of Sanatan Dharma, or Hinduism. They were 
written more than six thousand years ago. Hindus understand that the Vedas are the 
spiritual texts originally dictated by God, the “Brahman” Himself. The Vedic concept is 
that it is not the body that is having a spiritual experience but the soul that is having a 
human experience in the body.2 “The mind, the charioteer of the soul, realizes the joy of 
salvation, dispels fear secure through the exertion of the body, the chariot of the soul. 
God equips the learned person with an exalted soul. “O learned person, grant me 
 
2NOTES 
 
 Madhu Vedak Sharma, Dharmic Advisor: A Modern Way (Cary, NC: Bharat Vedak, 2016), 57. 
267 
 
 
spiritual knowledge.”3 This Vedic scripture discusses that only through the spiritual 
knowledge can one attain moksha, or salvation. This knowledge is passed through a 
learned person, who is also known as a guru or dharmic advisor. 
Hindu pundits are educated in a Vedic school, where they learn to understand and 
memorize the ritual mantras to perform various rituals. Gurus, on the other hand, learn 
more of the spiritual wisdom and then teach their disciples about how to live a life of 
fullness in order to achieve moksha. There are no Vedic schools in the United States, but 
there is the Hindu University of America, where I am currently working on my PhD. 
Almost all the priests in Hindu temples in the United States come from India due to the 
lack of any schools in the country. They work in the temples and help devotees perform 
rituals according to the scriptures.  
I grew up in a family of Hindu priests and gurus in India. My father became a 
Hindu priest in Raleigh, North Carolina, since there was no one else at the time in the 
area who knew the rituals and prayers. My mother was also very much involved in the 
temple since both my parents, along with others, established the Hindu Society of North 
Carolina in the 1970s. This temple now serves over 20,000 families in the area. My parents 
have been working to serve the Hindu community as volunteers for over forty years. So, 
I have been in training since my teenage years. I also helped perform rituals at the temple 
when my parents needed help. Now there are three full-time Hindu priests at the Hindu 
Society of North Carolina temple. Today, there are several other Hindu temples in the 
Raleigh-Durham area, meeting the needs of the Hindu population, which has grown 
tremendously. 
 
DHARMIC ADVISOR 
A dharmic advisor has a different role in the society. Their role is more about 
teaching Hinduism and helping the community with their spiritual needs; it is not so 
much about performing rituals. At Duke University, I served as the Hindu chaplain or 
dharmic advisor. My responsibilities were to connect with the Hindu students on campus 
and to provide them with primarily spiritual guidance, and I performed some religious 
rituals during Hindu festivals. I also volunteered as dharmic advisor at the University of 
North Carolina. This has become my passion as there is a great need to help younger 
generations with their spiritual needs but a lack of dharmic advisors across the country. 
I am an executive coach, with an engineering background and a master’s degree in social 
work. So, I have a mental health background, which helped me in guiding students in 
their spiritual journey. Another major responsibility of a dharmic advisor is to represent 
the Hindu faith across campuses as well as in the community at large. Dharmic advisors 
 
3 Devi Chand, The Atharvaveda: Sanskrit Text with English Translation (New Delhi: Munshiram, 
1997), 512. 
 
268 
 
 
also represent their faith in interfaith activities across the board since Hinduism is an 
interfaith religion. Hinduism professes everyone as equal. It respects other religions and 
their belief systems and accepts them with grace. 
Vedic teachings focus on self-care and on spiritual growth. They profess that the 
body is not having a spiritual experience but that the soul is having a human experience 
in the body. So, emphasizing the alignment of body, mind, and soul is a key principle of 
Hinduism. Spirituality makes a person. Spiritual practices need to be integrated in 
everything a person does in their life. 
As discussed earlier, Hinduism is a way of spiritual life, and it is about becoming 
a better and better human as one gets older. Mentoring others is one part of that journey. 
There is a clear example of mentoring in the Hindu spiritual text the Bhagavad Gita. 
Krishna mentored Arjuna during an epic war by clearly describing the benefits of fighting 
the war and also by highlighting the negatives of not fighting the war. He did not tell 
Arjuna what to do but gave him all the information he needed and then let him make his 
own decision. He walked him through the decision process and provided him support 
and love along the way. Bhagavad Gita verse 2.47 is probably the most famous verse in 
Hinduism: “You have the right to perform your duties but you don’t have the right to the 
outcome of those actions. Do not consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your 
actions, and never think about not doing your duty.” 
In the above passage, Krishna advised Arjuna that, first of all, he could not be 
inactive and could not quit his duties at any time in his life; he must continue to do his 
best at all times. He advised that one must continue to do one’s work at all times with 
enthusiasm. One should do their duties the best possible way at all times and stay focused 
on their responsibilities. One also should not work for the results as a reward for doing 
one’s duty. Simply put, do the work, but do not seek a reward from that work. 
The mentoring process can be confusing at times for a Hindu person because goal-
setting is a norm in Western contexts, while Krishna in Bhagavad Gita says that one 
should always do their duty but should not look for a reward from their work. In Hindu 
traditions, a good life consists in attention to multiple responsibilities—to social life, 
work, and relationships with others as well as to one’s own well-being, including one’s 
spiritual development, all while focusing on right action rather than good results. Doing 
the right things in life is not always easy, but that should not deter a person from 
continuing to do the right things and having the faith that things will work out for the 
best. 
Mentoring is essential for one’s spiritual growth, and it should be provided with 
care, love, and compassion, not by forcing one’s views on the mentee. It should be a 
process of growth by slow and steady learning. It is better understood by examples for 
the mentee, not just based on teachings from a book. So, mentors should live an 
exemplary life, thereby leading their mentees by example. 
269 
 
 
A measure of success in mentoring is the passing of one’s passion for ministry on 
to the mentee. This passion makes ministry a source of joy and the fulfillment of one’s 
life’s goal, which is promoting good karma. 
 
TOOLS FOR MENTORING 
Some of the tools that I have used as a Hindu chaplain and dharmic advisor at 
Duke University are: 
• Organizing and performing religious ceremonies on campus. During these events, 
I engage students and explain the underlying principles of the ceremonies. 
• Leading weekly Gita and general life discussions. 
• Having one-on-one discussions with students during the semester. 
• Inviting speakers who represent Hinduism and Indian culture. 
 
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION 
Do Hindu communities in the United States need to focus on providing spiritual 
growth for the younger generation and perhaps change the way religion and spirituality 
are practiced in India instead of adapting their practice based on the culture of the 
country? 
How can communities provide more opportunities for Hindu chaplaincy 
education and certification in the United States? 
How can Hindu chaplaincy be expanded to hospitals and universities as well as 
in Hindu temples? 
 


Mentoring for Ministry in Hinduism

Ji-Sun Kim, Grace

Invisible: Theology and Experience of Asian Women by Grace Ji-Sun Kim

Reading is an important aspect of pastoral life and work

Blodgett, Barbara

The Pastor's Bookshelf: Why Reading Matter for Ministry      by Austin Carty

Reflections on working with a young woman in a therapeutic way over an extended period of time

Arkema, Carroll E.

Arkema 1
Most Remarkable Move
Carroll E. Arkema
The rectangular Waiting Room
was about eight by fifteen feet;
it had a long narrow hallway
beginning at the left side, which
led along down to my office door.
There were several chairs set
along the two longer walls,
only two of which I could see
as I looked up the hallway
when I came out of my office.
Most clients did not wait for me
in those two chairs. I would walk
up the hall, greet the waiting client,
who would then follow me
back down the hall to my office.
One young woman, age nineteen,
was so afraid to come for therapy
that her father came with her
for her first therapy session;
he then left after a few minutes
when she felt safe alone with me.
She didn’t speak readily,
so I allowed for silence,
only gently asking questions,
and gauging the pace of
my verbal communication
by how much she would say.
She was facing the last year
of college, and was uncertain
what to do after graduation—
torn between getting a menial job
for a year to gain social confidence
or to pursue a Master of Fine Arts.
Arkema 2
Her mother, organized and resolute,
her father passive and withdrawn,
left her falling short of mother
and identifying with father;
afraid to speak up to mother,
disliking being like father.
This parental environment
provided very little safe space
to explore and define herself,
to express her feelings or interests,
her questions or her needs for help,
to be loved and valued as herself.
Her mother called her independent,
but actually left her on her own,
which left her feeling very lonely,
questioning her lovability and value,
and feeling conflicted about
trying to connect or express herself.
As is usual in such a family,
she survived by seeing herself
as the problem, as did her parents,
though fortunately the father
was also in psychotherapy,
acknowledging he had issues too.
She accepted his lead in seeking
help outside the family system.
She spoke of being afraid to talk
outside of her home, and of being
afraid to show her Art in school,
fearing it would be criticized.
In the second session with me,
in the context of telling me
that her mother doesn’t listen
nor patiently support her
and that her father became distant
when she entered high school,
Arkema 3
she said that she wishes she could
just say what she thinks and feels.
“You’ve come to the right place,”
I thought, a safe place apart from
external influence, and where I
was interested in her inner world.
She said that verbalizing things
makes you weaker, and that
showing her Art makes her
vulnerable to criticism;
and that even positive feedback
ends up feeling like an expectation.
These dual fears of criticism
or disappointing expectations
left her afraid to speak or act,
afraid to expose her creations
even to herself, sometimes detaching,
or seeing her work as contrived.
Gradually, over the next two summers,
she talked to me more and more.
She explored the whole range
of topics and emotions
appropriate to her age, about
her family and being in college:
a former friend growing distant;
a boy she felt ambivalent about;
her mother disapproving of
a photoshopping job she liked;
her two younger sisters each
unique and different from her.
She was gradually defining herself—
by sharing her beliefs and feelings;
by comparing herself to other
people, family members, peers;
by telling me extended family history,
by expressing her negative feelings.
Then one day it happened:
a most remarkable thing!
I came routinely out of my office,
intending to walk up the hall,
and there she was! Sitting in
a chair where she could see me!
Arkema 4
She had always sat around the corner,
which—consistent with her shyness—
had given her time to hear me coming
and to prepare herself to be seen.
She had needed time to prepare for
the intimacy of eye to eye contact.
My heart thrilled to see her there!
It was a huge move,
seemingly small, but conveying
so much of what had happened
between us: that she could
be close to me and still be herself!
That she could navigate the
closeness and distance between us
with more confidence and ease,
even anticipate being with me
for a time. She even smiled, and
forever after waited in that chair.
Her father was a Christian pastor
of a quite conservative church,
expecting unquestioning assent
to detailed prescribed beliefs.
I was impressed by her courage
in sharing her doubts with me.
She knew that I was also a pastor,
but she had experienced and come
to trust that I was interested in her
own beliefs, and that questions
were a way of defining and
consolidating her unique identity.
She was motivated and insightful,
able to make connections between
her current struggles and their
roots in her family dynamics.
But we both wondered if there
might be something organic also.
Arkema 5
After consulting with a peer,
I decided to tell her that she may
have what was called Asperger’s.
She was actually relieved; she felt
more fully known; said, “whatever
it’s called, I still must get on.”
Before the diagnosis, she said she felt
like she was in a race with other people
and that she was losing. Afterwards,
some pressure was off, but she still
wants to practice communicating;
get a job; do one new thing a day.
She postponed getting her MFA;
decided to live with her parents—
with some shame about that; but
to look for a non-demanding job,
thus freeing her to build her portfolio;
and to keep looking for her passion.
Eventually she left, as all clients must;
saying Goodbye, but without a hug.
I’m guessing she’s doing fine
as she finds her way in life—
having defined herself enough,
and saying a healthy goodbye.


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