Digital Commons @ Butler University

Staff, The Ovid

Ovid 
Volume 1 Writing from Butler University's First 
Year Seminar 2023-2024 Article 35 
2024 
Front Matter 
The Ovid Staff 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid 
Recommended Citation 
Staff, The Ovid (2024) "Front Matter," Ovid: Vol. 1 , Article 35. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid/vol1/iss1/35 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ovid by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Butler 
University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
OVID 
  
  
Writing from Butler University’s  
First Year Seminar 2023-2024  
  
  
  
 
2023-2024 Editorial Staff 
 
Editors-in-Chief:  Lauren Litherland, Meiwen Yang 
 
Editorial Staff:  Ava Like, Ava Watson, Liza Stuckwisch, Nanichi Flores 
 
Cover Design:  Meiwen Yang 
 
Cover Photography:  Crystal Longinos 
 
Faculty Advisor:  Nick Reading 
  
  
  
  
 
  
  
Copyright @ 2024 by Ovid and individual contributors.  
  
 
 
  
 3 
CONTENTS 
 
5 Rebecca Dingwell 
Faces in the Mirror  
 
9 Maythazin Minthu 
What Was I Made For?  
 
12 Emily Henderson 
     From the Pit 
 
15 Marek Magnus  
Percussive Passion 
 
18 Kristi Tingwald 
Behind Charcoal Eyes 
 
21 Leah Foster  
Thanks, Mom, For My Friends 
 
24 Anna Shabowski  
My Delights 
 
30 Ava Like  
Like Tradition 
 
34 Haylee Florkey   
Wanderlust 
 
36 Haylee Florkey 
The Call of Masculinity 
 
39 Ava Watson 
Only the Strong Survive: Portrayals of Battling Ideals of Masculinity in Stranger Things   
 
43 Meiwen Yang  
Leave the Door Open Three Inches: The Duffer Brothers’ Guideline for Stranger Things   
 
46 Meiwen Yang  
Looking into the Marbles: An Analysis of the Hidden Marbles-Soul Correlations in Neil Gaiman’s Coraline 
 
49 Dawson Wagner   
Coraline and Child Safety Concerns 
 
52 Henry Woodward  
Family, Legacy, and Death: A Meditation on Westworld 
 
55 Kiana Fleming  
To Suffer is to be Human 
 4 
58 Molly Edwards  
Joker: The Stereotypical Mentally Disabled Villain 
 
61 Mi Thuta  
The Importance of Depth Perception: Creating Meaning with Our Own Two Hands 
 
66 Mi Thuta  
THIS is the Bad Place: What Dystopian Literature Tells Us About Oppression and Resistance 
 
76 Kiera Delargy   
Climate Change and Monarch Butterfly Population Decline 
 
83 Paige Perry  
Distrust and Disparities in Healthcare Among African Americans 
 
87 Lucas Bornman 
Section 504 for a Collective Affinity 
 
90 Dana Frohberg  
The Effect of Redlining on the Funding Disparities in Public Education 
 
95 Dana Frohberg  
The Layers of Indiana’s Public Libraries 
 
100 Ava Like 
Island 
 
101 Abby Acierto 
Golden Girl 
 
104 Zarrar Khan  
Café Reflections, Love’s Disguise, Threads of Devotion 
 
107 Julia Skiba  
One Good Thing 
 
108 Emily Henderson  
Reflections 
 
2023-24 Letter Contest Winners  
 
112 First Place - Hanna Konicki  
Letter to Butler 
 
114 Second Place - Anjali Rabindran   
Painting Uncertainty   
 
115 Third Place - Jennifer May  
Finding You  


Front Matter

Foster, Leah

Ovid 
Volume 1 Writing from Butler University's First 
Year Seminar 2023-2024 Article 42 
2024 
Thanks, Mom, For My Friends 
Leah Foster 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid 
Recommended Citation 
Foster, Leah (2024) "Thanks, Mom, For My Friends," Ovid: Vol. 1 , Article 42. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid/vol1/iss1/42 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ovid by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Butler 
University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 21 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Thanks, Mom, For My Friends 
Leah Foster  
 
 
I wake to a pit in my stomach and my heart beating out of my chest. My face is hot, but my toes are 
cold. I lay in bed, anxious for what the day has waiting for me. I roll out of stretching, bones popping, 
as I make my way to the bathroom. Light barely peaks out of my blinds, but I can distinctly hear the 
frats blaring music and yelling loudly. The cold tile makes my already cold feet even colder. I stare at 
the mirror and am grateful to see I don’t have tears in my eyes, even though I feel like I could cry any 
second. Today is Butler’s homecoming, and at the current moment I am getting ready for the Butler 
Bulldog Beauty Contest. I am going with two girls I’ve never met, My mom found one of the girl’s 
mother on Facebook in an attempt to help me make friends. I am 19 years old, and my mom is still 
helping me make friends. This isn’t the first Butler friend my mom has set me up with. It is the third. 
While most children in my position would never let their parents help them make friends in college, 
I welcome it. 
         I think the reason I am so anxious isn’t to meet them. I’m excited to meet them. I am anxious 
about the decision I must make later in the day. I can either go to the basketball game with my new 
potential friends tonight or I can go to a Halloween party my friends from home invited me to. On 
one hand, it is my birthday weekend, and I should do what I want. If I am honest, I want to be home, 
around people who love and care for me. On the other hand, if I do go home, I might be missing out 
on an opportunity to make friends with people at Butler. I also know my mom would rather I stay at 
Butler so that I can make friends. Going back to Butler after being home is also especially hard, and 
I know my mom doesn’t want me to be upset. Above all else, I want to do what is right. Unfortunately, 
in this scenario I’m not sure what the right thing is. 
I make my way out of my dorm anxiously; afraid I am going to be late because I just can't 
decide what to wear. I must take into consideration what my mom thinks I should wear as well as 
what my new friends would like. I have settled on the dusty pink cargo pants and cream jacket that 
my mother suggested. As I quickly walk to Star Fountain to meet my new friends, I am met with chilly 
air and lots of people who, I later learned, were coming from the chariot races. This only heightens 
my anxiety and makes me wish I was back in my warm, cozy bed with a hot cup of tea, mindlessly 
scrolling through TikTok. As I arrive at the fountain, I anxiously look around for the girls. I spot 
them, and we awkwardly introduce ourselves and make our way to the Hinkle parking lot for the 
contest. 
Contrary to what other people might feel if they were in my situation, I don’t mind my mom 
helping me make friends. My mom is my best friend, and I value her opinion. If I can trust her to 
pick out my clothes, then friends should be no different. For as long as I can remember, it's really 
only been me and mom. Since my parents divorced in first grade, I’ve always had her as a best friend. 
 22 
I like to think of us a lot like the Gilmore Girls. I’m an only child and grandchild. I think this 
contributes to my anxiety about meeting new people and being away from my family. I’ve never had 
anyone in my family my age. The closest relative in age is eleven years older than me.  Going to an 
extremely small school in the middle of nowhere didn’t help either. I graduated with a class of 36, and 
I could probably tell you everyone’s name and their parents’ name. We all grew up together and I 
haven’t really had to make friends since kindergarten. I welcome my mom helping me find friends 
because I haven’t ever had to. 
As we walk to Hinkle, I find it difficult to make conversation with these girls. Not because 
they aren’t nice, but because the conversation tends to be short. I always find making conversations 
flow naturally very difficult. I try to push past my anxiety and ask any questions I can think of to keep 
the conversation going. I’m afraid my approach was too linear. Instead of just continuously asking 
questions, I should have built upon their answers. We make our way to our seats and wait for the 
contest to begin. I try my best to continue the conversation but struggle to find the right words. As 
the contest begins, I realize my mistake. I’m sitting closest to the stage, which means that in order to 
talk to them, I have to look back. This leads to little to no talking during the contest. 
It's hard to not blame yourself when making friends is hard for you. You start to feel like there 
must be something wrong with you. You must be the problem if no one wants to be friends with you. 
I try to give myself some grace, knowing that college is just as new to everyone else as it is to me. It’s 
hard to keep those negative thoughts away when you come in expecting to meet your forever best 
friend on day one. I am convinced that rushing for a sorority in January will be the solution to all my 
problems. I’ll be part of a community and can be around people whenever I want. It’s a comforting 
thought, but I try not to let it stop me from making friends now. 
The contest itself has been very enjoyable. All the bulldogs are absolutely adorable, and some 
are even in costume! However, there hasn't been any talking between the three of us. As the contest 
concludes, my anxiety heightens. We make the cold journey back to our dorms. We part ways with 
the promise of hanging out again soon. I still must let them know at some point if I want to go to the 
basketball game with them. The decision continues to heighten my anxiety. I enter my room, ready to 
make some tea and warm myself up. One of my suitemates comes into the room and invites me to 
hang out with her and some other girls. I accept their offer, even though I always feel like the odd 
one out when I am around them. I’m always so awkward with them and feel like they don’t actually 
want to be around me.  
I think these feelings stem from an accident toward the beginning of the year. I went with my 
roommates and some other girls to the first football game. It was going fine until they all started taking 
pictures together. At first, I was hurt because no one asked me, and then I was heartbroken. I was 
heartbroken because they wanted to take a group photo, and not only did they not ask me to be in 
the picture, but they also asked me to take it. That situation hurt me more than I'd liked to admit. This 
made making friends at Butler even harder. I just hope that when I begin rushing for a sorority, I’ll 
be able to find those forever friends I’ve been looking for. Maybe these new girls will be those friends, 
and I just must keep trying. 
I have decided to put myself out there. I reach back out to the girls to see if they would want 
to get dinner. To my surprise the girls agree. They willingly wanting to hang out with me and I couldn’t 
be more excited! We only had dinner together for thirty minutes, but for those thirty minutes, I wasn’t 
alone. It was thirty minutes that I got to strengthen connections with someone here at Butler. 
Every day I get a little less anxious and a little more adjusted to life at Butler. I’ll find my 
people eventually, and it’s okay that I haven’t. Not everyone meets their best friend for life on the 
first day of college. Maybe this experience is meant to allow me to learn about myself? Maybe being 
alone so much isn’t a bad thing? It just allows me to get to know myself better. This way, I can be a 
 23 
better friend when I do find my forever friends. I am excited to see where my friendship with these 
girls goes. If we become the best of friends or just acquaintances, I’m grateful for the opportunity to 
try. I am so thankful to my mom for being my number one supporter and best friend wherever I go. 
I hope my story shows people that sometimes it takes time to find your footing at college, and for me 
it took a whole semester. It is important to leaning on your family, like your mom, to support you 
through this transition. Things will get better, you just have to keep pushing.  
 
 
  


Thanks, Mom, For My Friends

Perry, Paige

Ovid 
Volume 1 Writing from Butler University's First 
Year Seminar 2023-2024 Article 57 
2024 
Distrust and Disparities in Healthcare Among African Americans 
Paige Perry 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid 
Recommended Citation 
Perry, Paige (2024) "Distrust and Disparities in Healthcare Among African Americans," Ovid: Vol. 1 , Article 
57. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid/vol1/iss1/57 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ovid by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Butler 
University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 83 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Distrust and Disparities in Healthcare Among African Americans 
Paige Perry  
 
 
Healthcare. To some, this word brings comfort, means safety, and creates trust. But this isn’t the case 
for everyone. For centuries, African Americans have felt distrust and faced disparities in the healthcare 
system. The treatment of African Americans in our history, from the poor health of slaves to the 
Tuskegee Syphilis Study, has ultimately influenced this problem. Today, numerous causes allow these 
healthcare disparities to persist. These include distrust of the healthcare system and its providers, 
healthcare provider bias and lack of cultural competence, limited access to quality healthcare, or 
healthcare at all, and a lack of clinical research. Similarly to the causes, the subsequent effects of this 
problem range, including poor provider-patient relationships, racism and place-ism, health 
complications, shorter life expectancies, and higher mortality rates. While the implications of this issue 
are significant, there are ways that we can help the African Americans facing them. We must start by 
addressing our history.  
Before America was even established, African Americans were brought to these lands as 
slaves. They endured harsh conditions and their health meant very little (Noonan et al. 1). Even if 
they wanted to, slaves weren’t allowed the opportunity to see a doctor or receive medical care 
(Kennedy et al. 57). Ultimately, this took an extreme toll on the health of enslaved African Americans. 
While slavery may have been abolished quite some time ago, these health disparities have prevailed. 
African Americans continuously fall subject to systemic discrimination, which hinders every aspect of 
their lives, including their health. According to Noonan, Velasco-Mondragon, and Wagner, in their 
discussion of African American health in the United States, there is a direct tie between our history 
of slavery and racism to the health discrepancies African Americans face. They state “…the history 
of slavery and the current racial discrimination this group continues to suffer clearly underlie the 
inexcusably poor health status of African Americans as a whole” (Noonan et al. 2). Just as these 
authors allude to, we must understand the history of African American healthcare in order to 
comprehend the current causes of these health inequities. Although the absent healthcare of slaves 
began the establishment of this imbalance, there are additional aspects of our history that have 
preserved racism and created doubt in African Americans.  
Beginning in 1932, in Macon County, Alabama, 600 African American men enrolled in a 
“project” because they were promised free medical care in return. This “project” is now known as the 
Tuskegee Syphilis Study. During this time, there wasn’t a cure for syphilis and the purpose of this 
experiment was to study the progression of the disease. The doctors from the U.S. Public Health 
Service, who ran the study, told the participants that they were being treated for “bad blood,” even 
the ones who didn’t have syphilis. However, this wasn’t the first lie these men were told. For years 
they were monitored by healthcare workers, who watched them suffer. Even when penicillin became 
 84 
a way of treatment about 15 years into the study, the participants were only given placebos. By the 
time a Public Health Service venereal disease investigator found out and broadcasted these inhumane 
practices, 28 participants had died from syphilis, 100 more had died from related complications, 
around 40 spouses had been diagnosed with syphilis, and 19 children had been born with the disease. 
While the study concluded after the news broke and many participants received an out-of-court 
settlement, the damage it caused was irreversible. The Tuskegee experiment created a deep distrust of 
the healthcare system among African Americans. (Nix n.pg.). A distrust that is still present today. Our 
history reveals how the healthcare system has lied to and ultimately killed so many African Americans. 
History, like the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, acts as the foundation of today's mistrust, along with the 
widening causes of health disparities. 
While our history is partly to blame for the mistrust of the healthcare system that exists in the 
minds of many African Americans, the discrimination that currently takes place has also caused such 
skepticism. These days, many African Americans find receiving medical care “degrading” and 
“humiliating” for various reasons, mostly related to the attitudes of healthcare providers (Kennedy et 
al. 57). African Americans can’t possibly trust the words of their providers when the process itself 
makes them feel less than they are. Only about fifty percent of African Americans feel health is a 
“high priority,” and thirty percent believe that their health is dependent upon fate (Noonan et al. 4). 
If these patients felt they could trust their physicians and receive objective medical care, their health 
would be better under control and mean more to them. These issues of distrust also relate to the lack 
of clinical research on African American health.  
Clinical research is important as it allows us to understand different aspects of life, especially 
health. Through this research, we can better comprehend what causes, progresses, and cures various 
diseases, such as cancer (Mitchell et al. 236). But this is yet another aspect of the healthcare system 
that is unbalanced when it comes to African Americans. Although some may credit this discrepancy 
to African Americans’ unwillingness to participate without reason, this is not the case. The lack of 
trust African Americans feel towards the healthcare system is part of the reason they aren’t as involved 
in clinical research trials. In an evaluation of the distrust among African Americans in the healthcare 
system, Dr. Kennedy, Dr. Mathis, and Ms. Woods explain the fear African Americans feel towards 
partaking in these trials. They don’t believe they are safe when completely trusting the system, 
“Distrust in the health care system by African Americans runs from the feelings or ill gains for 
participation in clinical trials to being used only as guinea pigs” (Kennedy et al. 57). On the other side 
of this, healthcare providers and researchers aren’t working to include African Americans. Many large-
scale studies that have taken place to investigate cancer and its contributing factors have focused on 
patients of “European ancestry.” This has created limitations when it comes to genetic data, as well 
as a lack of diverse samples of tissue and blood. (Mitchell et al. 236). When combined, these factors 
create a profound lack of clinical research on African Americans’ health, ultimately adding to the 
healthcare imbalance. 
As its been briefly implied in the discussion of African Americans’ distrust in their physicians, 
many healthcare providers have biased attitudes that contribute to these health disparities. Insults, 
whether intentional or not, are an example of how bias can be shown by healthcare providers 
(Kennedy et al. 57). This bias can ultimately hinder the quality of care physicians are willing to provide, 
which creates a load of problems. Similarly to bias, healthcare providers’ lack of cultural competence 
may also affect their ability to work with African Americans. While bias is more direct and inherent, 
providers usually lack cultural competence because the healthcare system failed to teach them how to 
interact with people of different ethnicities. Therefore, misunderstanding of African Americans' 
“verbal and non-verbal behavior” by providers may result in inadequate care (Kennedy et al. 58). 
Either way, the healthcare provider's actions and attitude towards the patient makes all the difference. 
 85 
Another cause of the health disparities that exist among African Americans includes their access to 
quality healthcare, or healthcare at all. Many Americans are “under-insured,” with a large amount 
being African Americans (Kennedy et al. 58). This makes quality healthcare a difficult thing to acquire, 
as well as afford. Poverty is huge when it comes to the inability to access healthcare, and African 
Americans feel that struggle the most. While critics may avoid addressing race and feel that healthcare 
is difficult for most people to afford, African Americans are ranked as the “poorest ethnic group in 
the USA” (Noonan et al. 4). And to make matters worse, the healthcare system doesn't always 
implement ways to help these patients afford care. When investigated, it was been found that practices 
serving larger percentages of minorities are less likely to have a financial navigator available (Mitchell 
et al. 238). These insurance and poverty barriers are yet another cause of the apparent disproportions 
in African Americans' healthcare. Just as the causes of these health disparities have been profound, 
the effects they have on African Americans prove to be even worse. 
A poor patient-provider relationship is the first of many direct effects the healthcare 
discrepancies have on African Americans. As previously mentioned, trust is an important factor when 
it comes to healthcare. If trust isn’t established when working with a physician, whether that be 
through shared cultural beliefs, similar views, etc., then it’s difficult to create a respectable relationship 
and accept the care they may provide (Kennedy et al. 58). When providers don’t make that effort for 
a connection, African American patients cannot put trust in them, ultimately leading to a poor 
relationship between the two. This may also result from unjust treatment displayed by the provider, 
due to bias. If a provider has some type of “fear” or “problem” relating to African Americans, a 
strained relationship will be the result. Patients are just as preceptive as their providers, making them 
aware when a negative attitude seems to be present. (Kennedy et al. 57). However, a poor patient-
provider relationship isn’t the only effect these health disparities have on African Americans. 
Racism and place-ism, according to TED speaker Ms. Olayiwola, are current problems felt by 
African Americans because of these discrepancies. Prospective healthcare providers, like Olayiwola, 
are being taught to care for African Americans in a certain way. Medical students are told that African 
Americans, specifically women, have a higher pain tolerance (Olayiwola 2:27). While this isn’t true, 
it’s still led to the racist treatment of African Americans seeking medical care. Their pain is less likely 
to be addressed, which decreases their likelihood of receiving any life-saving intervention when having 
a medical emergency, like a heart attack (Olayiwola 2:34). This creates huge implications for the health 
of African Americans and ultimately produces a larger gap in the system. Similarly to racism, place-
ism is an effect of this gap. According to Olayiwola, place-ism is one’s ignorance towards the impact 
our zip code has on our health (4:07). Oftentimes, doctors allow the race of African Americans to 
shape their medical advice and/or care, but ignore their address (Olayiwola 4:28). Outside of 
healthcare interaction, eighty percent of a person’s health is affected by social determinants, such as 
their home location (Olayiwola 4:13). This makes it crucial for healthcare providers to consider the 
address of African American patients: especially when they are the least economically secure ethnic 
group in the U.S. and are more likely to reside near sources of air pollution, both of which can affect 
health significantly (Olayiwola 4:20; Noonan et al. 4-5). Health complications and shorter life 
expectancies, which may also be results of place-ism, are additional effects of the healthcare disparities 
felt by African Americans.  
The most impactful and horrendous outcomes that African Americans encounter from 
discrepancies in the healthcare system include health complications, shorter life expectancies, and 
higher mortality rates. Disease is very apparent within the United States and the imbalance in our 
healthcare system puts African Americans at the forefront quite often. While the leading cause of 
death for most Americans is heart disease, forty-six percent of those who suffer from it are African 
American (Noonan et al. 8). Similar distinctions have been seen with cancer as well. African American 
 86 
women are three times more likely to get cervical cancer than white women (Mitchell et al. 243). 
However, African Americans are less likely to be diagnosed, even though they have increased chances 
of getting these diseases. When they do happen to be diagnosed, it’s at a later, more advanced stage 
of the disease. (Olayiwola 3:30).  Unfortunately, health complications are just the beginning for 
African Americans. Shorter life expectancies and higher mortality rates are extremely apparent as well.  
While the distinction used to be even more significant, the life expectancy of African Americans is 
3.4 years shorter than that of their white counterparts (Noonan et al. 6). The notion that disparities in 
our healthcare system can impact African Americans so thoroughly that they live shorter amounts of 
time may seem hard to grasp, but it’s our reality. And this reality exists for mortality rates as well. 
African Americans have the highest death rate when considering cancer outcomes (Mitchell et al. 236; 
Noonan et al. 8). This also aligns with other diseases, as African Americans have a 1.5-times greater 
rate of death from heart disease, a 4.2-times greater rate of having kidney disease at its end stage, and 
a 1.8-times greater rate of a stroke that results in death (Noonan et al. 8). These statistics prove to be 
direct effects of the disparities African Americans face in the healthcare system. Yet, not all hope is 
lost. There are things that we, as a society, can do to initiate change. 
As we know, gaps in the healthcare system have impacted African Americans for quite some 
time. While expecting these issues to completely go away is naive, there are improvements we can 
make right now. This includes the involvement and encouragement of African Americans in clinical 
trials and medical professions, better access to and protection of quality healthcare, and the 
management of bias to prevent its implementation in healthcare education and practices. While 
putting these ideas into action may be difficult, a few steps have been suggested. This includes 
expanding the Affordable Care Act (Noonan et al. 13), implementing better cultural education 
(Noonan et al. 15; Kennedy et al. 59), and addressing bias through improved healthcare technology 
(Olayiwola 8:05). However we choose to do it, the healthcare system must be improved upon. African 
Americans should feel they can trust their providers and believe they’re receiving the same care as 
anyone else. Together we must push for change, as it is a matter of life or death. 
 
 
Works Cited 
 
Kennedy, Bernice R., et al. “African Americans and Their Distrust of the Health Care System: 
Healthcare for Diverse Populations.” Journal of Cultural Diversity, vol. 14, no. 2, 2007, pp. 56-
60.  
 
Mitchell, Edith, et al. “Cancer Healthcare Disparities Among African Americans in the United 
States.” Journal of the National Medical Association, vol. 114, no. 3, 2022, pp. 236-50.  
 
Nix, Elizabeth. “Tuskegee Experiment: The Infamous Syphilis Study.” HISTORY, 13 June 2023, 
www.history.com/news/the-infamous-40-year-tuskegee-study. Accessed 24 February 2024. 
 
Noonan, Allan S., et al. “Improving the Health of African Americans in the USA: An Overdue 
Opportunity for Social Justice.” Public Health Reviews, vol.  37, no. 12, 2016, pp. 1-20.  
 
Olayiwola, J. “Combating Racism and Place-ism in Medicine.” TED, October 2020, 
https://www.ted.com/talks/j_nwando_olayiwola_combating_racism_and_place_ism_in_m
edicine. Accessed 24 February 2024.  
 


Distrust and Disparities in Healthcare Among African Americans

Frohberg, Dana

Ovid 
Volume 1 Writing from Butler University's First 
Year Seminar 2023-2024 Article 60 
2024 
The Layers of Indiana’s Public Libraries 
Dana Frohberg 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid 
Recommended Citation 
Frohberg, Dana (2024) "The Layers of Indiana’s Public Libraries," Ovid: Vol. 1 , Article 60. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid/vol1/iss1/60 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ovid by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Butler 
University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 95 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Layers of Indiana’s Public Libraries 
Dana Frohberg 
 
  
Justifications  
 
This study compares two public libraries twenty miles apart: East Washington Public Library and 
Joyce Winner West Library. These two libraries were chosen due to their similar acreage and similar 
community size. In addition, Joyce Winner West Library opened in 2020 and East Washington Public 
Library was renovated between 2018 and 2019. This means the libraries were built during similar time 
periods. However, a main difference between the libraries is the demographic of the community they 
serve. At East Washington Public Library, their community is majority Hispanic, Black, and Asian 
with a small percentage white (Crain). At Joyce Winner West Public Library, their community is mainly 
white (Meyer).  
The goal of this comparison is not to judge nor place blame on a library and community. The 
objective is to bring light to layers within societal systems that may prohibit libraries from better 
providing for their community. While the study shows disparities between the libraries, it is important 
to remember both libraries and their librarians work their hardest to best provide for their community.  
 
Layer #1: Funding  
 
How does the funding between East Washington Public Library and Joyce Winner West Public Libraries differ?  
 
To understand the differences in funding, the process of obtaining funding must be understood first. 
Public libraries across Indiana receive the majority of their funding from local revenues. According to 
a report done in 2020 by the Indiana Library Federalization, public libraries receive funding from 89% 
local sources, 6% state sources, 5% private sources, and 1% federal sources. The local sources mainly 
come from property taxes and local income taxes (“Indiana...” 2).  
This is evident in the financial reports of the East Washington Public Library and Joyce 
Winner West Public Library. For the Joyce Winner West Public Library, 42% of funds came from 
property taxes and 45% came from local income taxes in 2020 (“Carmel Clay...” 11). Property taxes 
accounted for 79% and local shared revenue accounted for 14% of the general revenue of the East 
Washington Branch was property taxes in 2022 (“Indianapolis-Marion...” 27).  
Since the libraries are in different neighborhoods, the properties and incomes have different 
numeral values. The neighborhood surrounding the Joyce Winner West Public Library has an average 
income of $197,946 (“Village...” n.pg) while the average income of residents near the East Washington 
Public Library is $42,366 (“US Census... n.gp.). As a result of these different incomes, the numerical 
 96 
value of the taxes received by Joyce Winner West Public Library and East Washington Public Library 
are different. East Washington Public Library receives almost a fourth of the funding compared to 
the Joyce Winner West Public Library. Thus, the funding for each library is different.  
 
Why is understanding and analyzing the libraries’ funding important? How does funding affect a library and its 
community?  
 
Due to the differences in funding, the libraries are equipped differently to serve their community 
because a library’s financial support influences its quality and amount of services (Jones, Goldman). 
Properly funding libraries ensures libraries offer the “invaluable resources of providing access to 
knowledge, supporting literacy, and serving as a safe space for members of the community” 
(Goldman). Funding primarily affects the resources, community involvement, and the staff of a library 
(Jones, Goldman). Since East Washington Public Library and Joyce Winner West Public Library have 
different funding, it can be inferred they are differently equipped in their resources, community 
involvement, and staffing. These differences are further described through the other layers below.  
 
Layer #2: Resources  
 
What resources do these libraries provide to serve their communities?  
 
The East Washington Public Library and Joyce Winner West Public Library use technology to serve 
their community. Both libraries utilize the Libby app for visitors to digitally check out a book if they 
have a library card and wifi. Joyce Winner visitors checked out 1,649,386 books digitally in 2021 which 
was a 16% increase from the last year (“Carmel Clay Public Library 2021...” 7). According to the 
branch manager of the East Washington Public Library, the branch's digital check out rate is low due 
to a lack of wifi in most visitors' homes. However, in order to combat this, the library partners with 
Ambush to provide personal hotspots for visitors to take home for two week periods. The library is 
struggling to maintain the devices as visitors do not always return them. Thus, a cycle is created 
preventing the use of digital books (Crain). Nonetheless, both libraries do their best to provide their 
community with the resource online reading to advance their literacy skills. In addition, both libraries 
provide communities with public computers, free wifi, color printer, color copy machine, and 
document scanner (“East...”, Meyer). The Joyce Winner West Public Library is additionally offering 
3D printing to visitors.  
Another resource both libraries supply is an arrangement of books. The East Washington 
Public Library and Joyce Winner West Public Library both house sections for children’s books, young 
adult novels, adult novels, graphic novels, and movie CDs. However, the amount and usage of the 
books differs by library. At Joyce Winner Public Library, all their book types have a similar check-out 
rate. In order to sustain the need, they have a large selection of most genres (Meyer). The East 
Washington Public Library has a lower check-out rate than the Joyce Winner Public Library. Instead, 
the East Washington Public Library has a greater need for and greater selection of children’s books 
and graphic novels. The library’s CDs are also in high demand and the library is working toward 
acquiring more for the community (Crain).  
 
How do these resources serve and enhance a community? Why are they important?  
 
Having a diverse library of reading materials can help a surrounding communities’ reading ability 
(Garrison). Properly equipped libraries have a high impact on children literacy as exposure to library 
 97 
books and storytime from a young age enhances early literacy (Arnold 2, Brouwer 11, Barber 7). In 
addition, the early literacy public libraries create when properly resourced helps generate lifelong 
learning for the surrounding community (Barber). Thus, since East Washington Public Library and 
Joyce Winner Public Library are differently resourced, they have different impacts on the 
communities’ literacy. At East Washington Public Library, they are not always properly equipped with 
the high demand books necessary to help draw community attention and to enhance community 
literacy. Whereas the Joyce Winner Public Library has a greater arrangement and amount of resources 
and books allowing them to strengthen their community literacy.  
 
Building Layer #3: Community Programs  
 
How do East Washington Public Library and Joyce Winner West Branch Public Library differ in their community 
involvement?  
 
Both libraries have partnerships to provide for their communities and both offer outreach programs 
to support their communities. For example, the libraries both have a Seed Program where children 
are given vegetable seeds so they can start their own garden (Crain, Meyer).  
Nonetheless, there are still differences. At East Washington Public Library, the branch 
manager attaches a wagon filled with children's books to his bike and he rides through the nearby 
neighborhoods to hand out the books to the community. The books are acquired by donation and 
children are able to keep them for free. The library additionally hosts a graphic novel book club with 
twelve faithful members who traditionally met at a local bar every month. A game night also takes 
place every other Saturday and it is typically attended by zero to ten people. The library is attempting 
to start a new English Learner book club to draw the attention of the LatinX population in the 
neighborhood (Crain).  
The Joyce Winner West Branch offers a different range of prominent community involvement 
programs. The library has a teen engagement program run by their young adult services staff where 
teens are able to meet monthly and work on creative programs, discuss books, and explore global 
issues together. For young children, the library also has a summer and winter program where children 
are able to track and challenge themselves with reading outside of the school environment. The 
summer program runs for eight weeks while the winter program runs for 10 weeks. Both programs 
have strong participation. In addition, the library partners with the Paws and Think program to 
provide children the opportunity to read to trained therapy dogs. For older members, a Crafty Casual 
Book Group takes place which gives book lovers and crafters a chance to bond and work together. 
The library additionally has an outreach program with nearby nursing homes where employees visit 
with requested books and read to senior citizens. The Joyce Winner West Branch public library has 
strong partnerships with the Carmel Artist Associations and Carmel Green Initiative. These 
partnerships include group events and support in individual programs (Meyer).  
 
Why is this community involvement important for a community? How can the differences affect a community?  
 
It is important libraries are able to be involved in their community because libraries help strengthen 
their neighborhoods. “Public libraries are dynamic, socially responsive institutions, a nexus of 
diversity, and a lifeline for the most vulnerable among us” (Cabello). With community involvement 
within libraries, visitors are given a place to connect, to address social problems, and to access support 
in academic and financial manners (Cabello, “Community...”). These are important in enhancing and 
contributing to a community’s wellness and growth. Both East Washington Public Library and Joyce 
 98 
Winner Public Library are working to strengthen their community to the best of their ability with their 
community involvement and programs. However, differences in funding means different programs 
are available which affects community involvement. In other words, members of the East Washington 
Public Library have less program options available to them which can prohibit their ability to 
participate in the library’s programs. All of these factors can affect the wellness of a community.  
 
Building Layer #4: Staff  
 
In what ways are the staff different and similar between the two libraries? Do staff members have different or similar 
expectations, responsibilities, or titles?  
 
The East Washington Public Library has four staff members: a white man, two Puerto Rican men, 
and an East Asian immigrant. Their job titles are branch manager, a curriculum supervisor, a children's 
librarian, and a computer assistant. However, according to the branch manager, the staff does not 
always follow their job title as the library is unable to hire the additional staff needed to meet all the 
library’s needs. For example, the computer assistant is truly head librarian. The worker gained the title 
of computer assistant because the library was required to have one. The staff works together to keep 
the library running smoothly by shelving books, checking books in and out, and maintaining 
community partnerships (Crain). While the individual salaries of each staff member could not be 
found, the budget provided by the Indianapolis Public Libraries for the four members of the East 
Washington Public library staff in 2019 was 159,840 (“Indianapolis-Marion...”).  
At the Joyce Winner West Public Library, they have a total of ten full time employees. This 
consists of a branch manager, an assistant manager, a children’s librarian, a computer assistant, a 
curriculum supervisor, a community director, two pages, and two trained librarians. Pages are 
employees who retrieve and return books from the shelves in the proper order. The majority of all 
employees’ work aligns with their job title and expectations. However, all employees will help each 
other when needed (Meyer). No information about the salary for the employees at the Joyce Winner 
West Public Library is open to the public.  
 
In what ways does staffing enhance a library?  
 
Libraries benefit greatly from having a strong staff for several reasons: expertise, efficiency, 
community promotion, and customer service. By having a library staff that is well trained and 
experienced, the library is able to offer more assistance and is able to operate smoothly. In addition, 
librarians help their community by developing relationships with visitors which can promote 
community unity (Kagan). The skills librarians bring can enhance their community by providing 
valuable help and they can bring a community closer together. All of these skills are important in their 
effect on a community. However, the East Washington Public Library and Joyce Winner Public 
Library have different access to this skillset as they have different ability to properly employ and pay 
employees.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 99 
Works Cited 
 
Arnold, Renea. “Public Libraries and Early Literacy: Raising a Reader” JSTOR, vol. 34, no. 8, 
2003, pp. 48-51.  
 
Barber, Peggy and Kathleen McCook. “Public Policy as a Factor Influencing Adult Lifelong 
Learning, Adult Literacy and Public Libraries.” JSTOR, vol. 42, no. 1, 2002, pp. 66-75.  
 
Brouwer, Marin, et. al. “Early Literacy in Library Storytimes: A Study of Measures of Effectiveness.” 
JSTOR, vol. 86, no. 4, 2016, pp. 369-388.  
 
Cabello, Marcela, and Stuart Butler. “How Public Libraries Help Build Healthy Communities.” 
Brookings, 30 Mar. 2017,  
 
“Carmel Clay Public Library 2020 Annual Report” Carmel Clay Public Library, 2020. 
 
“Carmel Clay Public Library 2021 Annual Report” Carmel Clay Public Library, 2021.   
 
“Citizen’s Guide to Property Tax.” Department of Local Government Finance, 24 May 2021. 
 
“Community Centered: 23 Reasons Why Your Library Is the Most Important Place in Town  
Public Libraries Online.” Public Libraries Association, 30 Apr. 2013.  
 
Crain, Josh. 14 March 2024, Interview.  
 
“East Washington.” Indianapolis Public Library, 9 Apr. 2024. 
 
Goldman, Matthew. “Strategies for Sustainable Funding: A Metadata Review of the Independent  
Library District Model.” Public Library Quarterly, vol. 37, no. 2, 3 Apr. 2018, pp. 139–149. 
 
Grassian, Esther and Sarah LeMire, “For Your Information: Using Information Literacy in Public  
Libraries.” JSTOR, vol. 57, no. 1, 2017, pp. 12-16.  
 
“Indianapolis-Marion County Public Library 2022 Annual Comprehensive Financial Report.”  
The Indianapolis Public Library, 2022.  
 
Jones, Connor. “Exploring the Vital Role of Funding in Libraries.” WF Education Group, 11 Sept. 
2023.  
 
Kagan, Oleg. “5 Intriguing Reasons Public Library Staff Is Crucial to Communities.”  
EveryLibrary, 14 Oct. 2018. 
 
Meyer, Beth. 15 March 2024, Interview. 
 
“Village of WestClay.” Indy Encyclopedia, 25 Apr. 2021. 
 
“U.S. Census Bureau QuickFacts: Marion City, Indiana.” The United States Census Bureau. 


The Layers of Indiana’s Public Libraries

Henderson, Emily

Ovid 
Volume 1 Writing from Butler University's First 
Year Seminar 2023-2024 Article 65 
2024 
Reflections 
Emily Henderson 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid 
Recommended Citation 
Henderson, Emily (2024) "Reflections," Ovid: Vol. 1 , Article 65. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid/vol1/iss1/65 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ovid by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Butler 
University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 108 
 
 
 
 
 
Reflections  
Emily Henderson  
 
 
1. The Black Brace 
 
 
I’m on my way to my next class in Jordan Hall on this gorgeous Monday morning—gusts of wind 
blowing in my face, the warmth of the sun on my skin, and the smell of spring’s new promise invading 
my nostrils and flowering petals of pink and white swirl in the breeze together like schools of fish in 
the sea. The sidewalks are bustling with bodies, people coming and going in all different directions, 
much like a colony of giant-sized ants. Yet, through all the commotion, all I can focus on is the girl 
confined to a pair of crutches with a giant black knee brace on her right leg, limping through the 
crowd. She drags on, moving at the pace of a snail. I notice the small details that are naked to all the 
other glaring pairs of eyes—the way she hides her discomfort in the weight of the metal sticks, the 
backpack pulling her down to the warm pavement, the desperation in her eyes to get to her destination 
and relieve the pain that’s constantly burning in her shoulders. Memories come running back to me, 
blinding me for a split second, and chills sprint down my body. At that moment, I’m in her shoes; I 
feel her pain and see what she is and will be going through, remembering what I had to overcome 
after my own knee surgery two years ago. Even on a beautiful day such as this, it’s hard to feel joyful 
like the sun when your eyes gaze upon the big black knee brace; it’s an instant connection, even with 
someone that I have never met before. I suppose I relish in having these memories come back to me 
again, as painful and unbearable as they are, because it reminds me of what I have overcome; I now 
have a new perspective and can see it from another point of view. I do a sign of the cross over my 
heart as she limps on by, praying that she too has the strength to keep going and never give up for 
what comes next. I walk through the giant doors of Jordan and read the big bold words on the wall: 
“If the version of you from five years ago could see you now, they would be so proud. Keep going, 
you’re doing great.” 
 
  
 109 
 
 
 
 
 
2. Sky’s Tears 
 
 
I sit in an open room surrounded by 50 foot windows looking out at the pitch black sky, the small 
glimmer of the street lamps in the distance, and the thundering roar of battle drums slamming against 
the once dry slabs of concrete. Millions upon millions of raindrops cover every square inch of life just 
outside the towering wall of thick glass. It’s been like this for a few hours now and it looks to be no 
end in sight from what I can tell sitting at a bright yellow table engaged in my coding assignment. This 
puts me in a pickle, considering all I have to cover myself is a hat, my long sleeve top, and a backpack 
strapped to me as the only protection for all my technology. What’s funny is that I usually yearn for 
rain, it’s what puts me at ease and washes away all the pollen that triggers my terrible allergies, but not 
in this scenario, considering that I’m currently on the complete other side of campus studying and it’s 
midnight. After a few minutes of trying to devise a plan, I decided to just go and brave the storm. I 
walk through the pouring rain, trekking through rapids running down the sidewalks and navigating 
past fallen branches being washed away with the rain. I feel like the frog in Hopper, my mom’s favorite 
video game when she was my age, crossing the river and avoiding all the obstacles at the same time. I 
eventually made it back to my dorm building, soaking wet, but stopped just shy of the door. Every 
muscle in my body wanted to get inside but I couldn’t bear myself to move. I felt the rain pound 
against my face as I looked up into the dark sky, feeling the cold touch of the drops across my bare 
legs and hands. The sky’s tears gave me an insurmountable amount of joy that I never would have 
expected or predicted, and I just stood there and smiled and laughed out loud into the dark sky. 
Puddles were growing in my shoes, yet, it was one of the most real and special moments that I’ve had 
in a very long time and I absolutely adored it. In those few moments, I let all my anxieties and worries 
wash away into the sewers with the running rain, soaking in all of the sky’s joyful, not sorrowful, tears. 
As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, does this count as a fountain jump? 
  
 110 
 
 
 
 
 
3. The Mighty Rainbow 
 
 
Out the giant window one flight of stairs above the soaking wet ground, I gaze out at the droplets of 
rain lightly hitting the thick glass in front of my face, two backpacks on my shoulders with a water jug 
and a basketball in my hands. I just returned from my final club basketball tournament in Cincinnati, 
Ohio. We played three 40-minute games today, coming right off of the two others we had the day 
before, so I was exhausted. It was a blessing to be able to return to my home state for the weekend 
and a great finish to my first club basketball season here at Butler. Before I turn to head into my dorm, 
something catches my eyes amidst the dark clouds covering the sky. To the right of me is a magnificent 
rainbow perfectly stretched over the horizon. It always brings me so much joy to see those six 
prominent colors high in the sky, but for some reason, it felt much more special this time around. It’s 
only been three years since my grandpa’s sudden passing, but the pain is still there and present in 
unannounced passing moments such as this. I have heard that those who have lost family and friends 
like to think that their loved ones can paint the sky; the breathtaking colors of pink, orange, yellow, 
red, and purple during a sunset are just messages from above. Perhaps this rainbow was his way of 
sending down a special message to me. My papa didn’t have the chance to watch me play in high 
school, so it makes me believe that he was watching over me extra this weekend; he was always so 
proud of my athletic talents. I stared at the rainbow for a few more minutes before the colors slowly 
started fading into the gray sky. A small tickle fell down my face and hit the floor like the subtle 
sprinkles of rain outside. A gentle and nearly unnoticeable touch grazes my arm for the slightest 
second just as I turn to head inside my dorm. 
 
  
 111 
 
 
 
 
 
4. The Glow of the Sun 
 
 
I sit in the tiny chapel on South Campus with seven others scattered throughout the 12 rows of 
wooden pews, all of us sitting or kneeling on thin green pads in complete silence and deep in prayer 
during this time of Eucharistic Adoration. The church, with tall and looming ceilings, has pews on 
both sides of the main aisle facing the front of the room. A giant silver cross the height of the windows 
stands behind the main lectern on the left side. A table, the altar, rests in the center with a white cloth 
laid out perfectly on top. Six candles are spread out evenly at the edge alongside a small crucifixion 
statue in the center. The church is so silent and still that the sound of a pin dropping would be like a 
roar of thunder. The clouds and their somber glow seep through the tall windows and turn the once 
wooden pews into the blue-ish gray color of the sky. Amidst all the dark tones, a golden figure about 
two feet tall rests at the center of the room on the altar behind the candles and the small cross. Golden 
spikes, similar to the rays of the sun, surround a single piece of Eucharist in the tiny capsule in the 
center of the structure. For that hour of time, I closed my eyes and listened to peaceful church music 
singing into my ears through my small white headphones. A few droplets run down my face, 
splattering onto the tile floor beneath me. My thoughts stand still, resting in this moment of prayer 
and reflection. I remained like this until the conclusion of the ceremony as we all recited the final 
prayer in unison. The priest puts on his white cloak, covering his hands and gently raising the golden 
structure with eyes looking above, and after a few moments gently setting it back down. Out of 
nowhere, the gray clouds suddenly roll away and the room is engulfed with the golden glow of the 
sun, shining right in my face and filling me with warmth unlike anything else. A smile runs across my 
face, a feeling so pure and special and one that I will hold close to my heart. After a day filled with 
the cover of darkness, the true joy was seeing that bright yellow gleam, even if it was for a split second. 
It was the reminder I needed that the light is always there with me, even when I don’t notice it when 
the entire world looks gray. 
 
 
  


Reflections

This zine walks through the history of women’s involvement in the summer olympic games. The timeline shows advancements in women’s rights and empowerment through athletics. The zine also explains how equality will further grow in the olympic games.https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/spring_2023/1000/thumbnail.jp

Carmichael, Allie

Jones, Emily

Vermilion, Ellie

Lehner, Cat

Butler University 
Digital Commons @ Butler University 
Spring 2023 GHS 207 Resistance & Rights: Global Women 
Spring 2023 
Rise of Women 
Allie Carmichael 
Emily Jones 
Ellie Vermilion 
Cat Lehner 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/spring_2023 
 Part of the Arts and Humanities Commons 
RISE OF 
T
H
E
 J
O
U
R
N
E
Y
 O
F
 E
Q
U
A
L
IT
Y
 IN
 S
P
O
R
T
S
B
Y
: C
A
T
E
 L
E
H
N
E
R
, E
M
IL
Y
 J
O
N
E
S
, E
L
L
IE
V
E
R
M
IL
IO
N
, A
L
L
IE
 C
A
R
M
IC
H
A
E
L
WOMEN
Taken by Abelardo Mendes Jr. 2018.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/ministeriodoesporte/4386929694. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA
2.0. 
American tennis player Florence E. Sutton (1883-1974) https://www.loc.gov/item/2014689640/ by George Grantham Bain is in the public domain 
Ancient Greece
HERA
For the Festival of Hera, unmarried
women were allowed to participate in
foot races. They were awarded for
winning. However, married women were
punished by death if they attended or
participated in the games. 
FESTIVAL FOR
FUN FACT: The
artwork Attic Red
Figure Amphora is
assumed to be the
prize for winning
these games. 
G
reek O
lym
p
ia R
u
in
s. Fro
m
 h
ttp
s://w
w
w
.p
xfu
el.co
m
/en
/free-p
h
o
to
-jw
n
la in
 th
e p
u
b
lic d
o
m
ain
. 
Odysseus and Athena at the meeting with Nausicaa, Attic red-figured amphora from Vulci, 440 BC. Posted on
https://www.flickr.com/photos/carolemage/8957437815/in/album-72157633944771984/  CC BY-NC-SA 2.0. 
 
Paris 1900
22 women competed in the Paris 1900 games. A woman
dressed in fencing attire is featured on a flyer signifying
that women would be making their presence at the
games. Media such as this flyer, encourages more women
to participate in sports. These 22 women set a precedent
for future women in sports. Hélène de Pourtalès was the
first female Olympic gold medalist and an inspiration to
many women. 
WOMEN
22 BRAVE
P
o
ster fo
r 19
0
0
 P
aris O
lym
p
ics b
y Jean
 d
e P
aleo
lo
gu
e in
 th
e p
u
b
lic d
o
m
ain
. 
 
Eiffel Tow
er, Paris. Retrieved
 from
 Britannica. http
s://w
w
w
.b
ritannica.com
/b
iograp
hy/G
ustave-
Eiffel#
/m
ed
ia/1/180
9
85/113517 U
sed
 und
er fair use. 
 
Men Women
3,000 
2,000 
1,000 
0 
100m 
4x100m relay
high jump 
discus
800m 
Women were only allowed to
compete In athletics In 5
events: 
1928AMSTERDAM
10:1
ratio of men to women athletes 
"TOO FRIAL TO COMPETE IN
A RACE AS LONG AS 800M"
LINA RADKE,  GERMANY
German runner, Lina Radke,
appeared to be too fatigued
after winning gold In the
800m. They then declared
women unfit to run for such a
distance and banned the
women's 800m from the
Olympics for 32 years.
https://garystockbridge617.getarchive.net/media/ethel-smith-
fanny-rosenfeld-1928-olympics-6b1f4c
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lina_Radke
Munich 1972 
Men made up the
majority of those in
the games this year,
with 85.4% of them
being men, compared
to 14.6% of women
athletes. 
MUNICH GAMES1972
Shane Goulad
dominated women's
swimming events
winning a gold, a silver,
and a bronze medal. 
With the exception of
1984, women won the
co-ed equestrian
dressage event every
year from 1974 until
2012. 
Taken by Rainer Mittelstadt. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-
M0713-0032%2C_Kornelia_Ender.jpg . Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 DE
Taken by Hans Max-Theurer.  https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/74/Mon_Cherie_2_1980-1-s.jpg . Liscened by CC BY-SA 3.0
Title IX
TITLE IX
In order for an education program and
activities (including athletics) to receive
federal funding, there must be no
discrimination based on sex
Even after it was established,
it is still estimated that today
80-90% of school athletics
do not comply with Title IX,
with no penalty to go along
with it.
EST. 1972. 
Taken by Berenice Gervacio.  https://thehillnews.org/opinions/berenicegervacio/title-ix-and-bipoc-what-
about-us . Licensed by CC BY-ND-NC 1.0
Taken by Friderich Gahlbeck. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-1984-11. Liscensed
by CC BY-SA 3.0 DE
"T
IT
L
E
 IX
 C
O
M
IN
G
 T
O
 F
R
U
IT
IO
N
 "
'96ATLANTA
PERCENTAGE OF FEMALE ATHLETES
34%
PERCENTAGE OF FEMALE ATHLETES
ON TEAM USA
56%
One of the first
generation of women
athletes to grow up
under the Influence of
Title IX, these athletes
showed the world that
given equal opportunity,
they will thrive
Of the 552 member U.S
team, 292 were female.
This Included gymnasts,
women's basketball, and
women's soccer: all of
whom won the
 Gold Medal
https://www.amny.com/sports/1996-us-womens-basketball-team-what-to-know/
https://www.ajc.com/sports/women-blazed-trail-with-inaugural-soccer-
gold/LhErlJ3xkvD2UFsY225UNM/
 
The athlete who
triumphed over pain to
win a historic Olympic
Gold for her and the 
 team 
WEAK
ATHLETE SPOTLIGHT  KERRI STRUG
"I WASN'T GOING TO STOP"
2 TORN LIGAMENTS AND A
SPRAINED ANKLE LATER...
RESILIENT
AMERICAN GYMNAST-  ATLANTA '96
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/2021/07/22/kerri-strug-gymnastics-olympics-1996/7878888002/
the first Summer Olympics where every nation
competing sent at least one female athlete! 
LONDON  2012
44%
of athletes participating in
these Olympic games
were women. 
GOLD MEDALS FOR THE
 
BY GENDER
"The Year of the Women for the United States"
 
 
59
medals 100
medals
MEN
WOME
N
UNITED STATES
INTERNATIONAL SUCCESS FOR WOMEN
FLAG
BEARERS
 M
A
K
IN
G
 H
IS
T
O
R
Y
The percentage of female
athletes participating in
Olympic games rose from
2020TOKYO
Retreived from https://nypost.com/2021/07/23/team-usas-preppy-and-pretentious-outfits-ripped-on-twitter/.
Used under fair use
Tokyo 2020 saw the implementation of a rule change
that allowed for a female and male athlete to jointly
carry their country's flag. 
91% of countries had a female flag bearer.
"THE MOST GENDER-BALANCED
SUMMER GAMES IN HISTORY"
Getty Images. Retrieved from
https://www.today.com/news/sue-bird-eddy-alvarez-will-be-
u-s-flag-bearers-t226024. Used under fair use. 
USA FLAG
BEARERS:
SUE BIRD
(basketball)
EDDY ALVAREZ
(baseball) 
48%44% in 2012 to in 2020
Paris 20
24 b
y N
icolas M
ichaud
 is licensed
 und
er C
C
 BY-N
C
-N
D
 2.0
.)
MOVING
FORWARD 
PARIS 2024
of athletes will be female. 
This makes Paris 2024
the first Olympic Games
in history to achieve
numerical gender parity 
EXACTLY
50%
Re
tr
ie
ve
d
 fr
om
 h
tt
p
s:
//
ol
ym
p
ic
s.
co
m
/i
oc
/n
ew
s/
ge
nd
er
-
eq
ua
lit
y-
an
d
-y
ou
th
-a
t-
th
e-
he
ar
t-
of
-t
he
-p
ar
is
-2
0
24
-
ol
ym
p
ic
-s
p
or
ts
-p
ro
gr
am
m
e.
 U
se
d
 u
nd
er
 fa
ir 
us
e.
 
“The Olympic Games Paris 2024 will
be more inclusive, more youthful,
more urban, more sustainable"
-Thomas Bach, IOC President 
REFERENCES
"The Women. Were the Ancient Olympics just for Men?" The Penn Museum.
https://www.penn.museum/sites/olympics/olympicsexism.shtml 
"Paris 1900 Olympics." The Olympics Website. https://olympics.com/en/olympic-
games/paris-1900 
PICRYL - Public Domain Media Search Engine. (1928, January 1). Ethel Smith fanny rosenfeld
1928 Olympics - picryl - public domain media search engine public domain search. PICRYL -
Public Domain Media Search Engine. Retrieved April 23, 2023, from
https://garystockbridge617.getarchive.net/media/ethel-smith-fanny-rosenfeld-1928-
olympics-6b1f4c
Wikimedia Foundation. (2022, January 26). Lina Radke. Wikipedia. Retrieved April 23, 2023,
from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lina_Radke
Kuek Ser, Kuang Keng. “See 120 years of struggle for gender equality at the Olympics.” The
world. Sports. August 17, 2016. https://theworld.org/stories/2016-08-17/see-120-years-
struggle-gender-equality-olympics 
King, Billy. “Advocacy in Action.” Women’s Sports Foundation.
https://www.womenssportsfoundation.org/advocacy_category/title-ix/ 
Atlanta 1996 summer Olympics - athletes, medals & results. (n.d.). Retrieved April 23, 2023,
from https://olympics.com/en/olympic-games/atlanta-1996
Kerri Strug: The gymnast who battled through pain for a taste of ... (n.d.). Retrieved April 23,
2023, from https://olympics.com/en/news/kerri-strug-the-gymnast-who-battled-through-
pain-for-a-taste-of-olympic-glory
Chappell, Bill. “London 2012: Year Of The Women At The London Games? For Americans, It's
True.” The Torch. NPR. August 10, 2012.
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetorch/2012/08/10/158570021/year-of-the-woman-at-the-
london-games-for-americans-its-true. 
“Gender equality through time,” International Olympic Committee, accessed March 20,
2023, https://olympics.com/ioc/gender-equality/gender-equality-through-time/at-the-
olympic-games
“Gender equality through time,” International Olympic Committee, accessed March 20,
2023, https://olympics.com/ioc/gender-equality/gender-equality-through-time/at-the-
olympic-games
“New Year’s Message 2023 by IOC President Thomas Bach,” International Olympic
Committee, last modified December 22, 2022. https://olympics.com/ioc/news/new-year-s-
message-2023-by-ioc-president-thomas-bach 
Page 2- Ancient Greece
Page 3- Paris 1900
Page 4- Amsterdam 1928
Page 5- Munich 1973
Page 6- Title IX
Page 7: Atlanta 1996
Page 8- Kerri Strug
Page 9- London 2012
Page 10- Tokyo 2020
Page 11- Moving Forward / Paris 2024 
 AUTHORS: ALLIE CARMICHAEL, EMILY
JONES, ELLIE VERMILION, CATE LEHNER
https://www.insider.com/olympic-athletes-returning-to-jobs-as-
teachers-realtors-consultants-2021-8


English

Rise of Women

Mock, Gabbie

The Mall 
Article 
7-17-2023 
The Joy in Help 
Gabbie Mock 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/the-mall 
Recommended Citation 
Mock, Gabbie (2023) "The Joy in Help," The Mall: Vol. 7 , Article 5. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/the-mall/vol7/iss1/5 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Mall by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 13 
The Joy in Help 
 
Gabbie Mock 
 
 
Asking for help. Arguably one of the most important questions to 
know how to ask. The reliance upon others is an innate part of the 
human credo, whether anyone will admit to it. If this is the case, 
however, then why does society have such a hard time admitting they 
need help? In our communities, there are people who are more than 
willing to drop anything to be at our side. To share their love and 
respect for you be means of lending a hand. So why are we so against 
the idea? The answer lies within the obsession of self-sufficiency, 
independence, and competition. This obsession with being our own 
person to such a great extent hinders our fulfillment of joy. By 
leaning on our community in times of need, we greater expand our 
capacity for joy in our life.  
Ross Gay, in Inciting Joy, likens this reliance to the symbiotic 
relationship of the garden. In his third incitement, We Kin, Gay 
describes the tight-knit community of gardeners he is a part of. On 
page 31, he writes that “...we’re just emulating the garden, which is a 
repository of sharing.” The community he has aligned himself with 
is always there for him, not out of selfish personal gain, but out of 
respect for the members of their community. “Not because we’re 
saints, but because we’re gardeners”, he also illustrates on page 30. 
This respect for one another is an unspoken quality of Gay’s 
community. No one needs to be boastful about their willingness to 
help, they simply act out of a mutual sense of care and respect. This 
same idea is echoed in Barbara Herman’s article, Mutual Aid and 
Respect for Persons, as she details on page 597, “The duty to develop 
(not neglect) one’s talents and the duty of mutual aid are thus duties 
of respect for persons.” Herman and Gay both agree that the 
community is there for each other in times of need - with or without 
asking. Mutual aid is a beautiful aspect of community. This reliance 
upon others is “The most salient or unifying feature,” (Gay, 37). This 
point speaks volumes to how our society should and wants to 
behave. We should be more than willing to reach out for help and 
offer it, because it unites us as a larger community.  
It is apparent by the ideas Gay brings up that every living 
organism is dependent upon another for survival. As he articulates 
 14 
on page 37, “we the living...cannot survive without help.”. Society 
should interact with each other like the garden, where plants and 
insects rely on each other to live everyday. This sense of a 
harmonious community is vital to the fulfillment of joy. As Martin 
Mulligan describes on page 347 of his article, On Ambivalence and Hope 
in the Restless Search for Community: How to Work with the Idea of 
Community in the Global Age, “[Community] Offers people what 
neither society nor the state can offer, namely a sense of belonging 
in an insecure world.” This driving force of community is what Gay 
encourages us to search for. Obtaining a community to belong and 
thrive, that is unique to you. Having a benevolent community to rely 
on stretches the scope for compassion and happiness in our lives. 
Any sort of reluctance towards this reward severs our scope and may 
limit opportunities for joy.   
Evidently, the reliance upon others is an integral principle 
that our society seems to ignore in an attempt to seem better off. 
Deep down, we all want to cry out for help in times of need, but our 
pride muffles the shouts to protect our independence. The 
competitive nature of humans drives us to be alone in our times of 
need. Heike Paul of The Myths That Made America: An Introduction to 
American Studies dedicates a whole chapter to the idea of the “self-
made man”. He describes “...the notion that individuals can 
determine their own future and change their own lives for the 
better... [and] man will be ‘what he makes of himself’...” (Paul, 369). 
The idea embedded in heads is that you are nothing if you do not 
create your own success. There is a popular idea that if you cannot 
make your own success, completely on your own, you have achieved 
nothing. Asking for help is viewed as weak and pathetic. This 
popular idea directly contrasts Gay’s findings as he details on page 
37, “...you will never be self-sufficient or independent. Because 
nothing living is.” People are what we need to succeed and reach 
fulfillment in our lives.  
Declining to reach out when there are people readily 
available to help will leave people stagnant and with nowhere to go. 
Paul concludes in his chapter that, “...the myth of the self-made man 
is as unrealistic as it is powerful,” (Paul, 407). Ultimately, receiving 
and giving help will lead to a stronger fulfillment of joy. Herman of 
Mutual Aid and Respect for Persons, writes, “The helpful person is 
willing to set aside or delay his own pursuits to ease the way for 
someone else. He views the other as, in a sense, a fellow pursuer of 
 15 
happiness,” (Herman, 601). So then, if at the end of the day all 
people want in life is to be happy and have others share that 
happiness, then this apparent reluctance to help is only getting in the 
way. Herman also writes, “The helpful person has an interest in the 
well-being of others,” (Herman, p. 601). A joyous society wants 
nothing but the best for one another, which means we need to 
become much more dependent.  
A dependent community allows society to thrive, much like 
how a plentiful garden is the product of the relationships of the 
organisms within the garden and of those who tend to it. Gay 
poignantly sums up these ideas by asking the reader on page 39, 
“...by celebrating kindness - which we do in part by sharing what that 
kindness has given us, and by all the practices of sharing we can 
dream up in celebration of what that kindness has given us, what we 
common beneficiaries of that kindness have been given, which is, 
isn’t it? everything - we also might harvest what is planted in that 
kindness.” Simply put, when there is a community you can depend 
upon in your life you should utilize their willingness to help and 
reciprocate that service. It will bring you joy in your life. 
 
  
 
 
Works Cited 
 
Gay, Ross. Inciting Joy: Essays. Algonquin of Chapel Hell, 2023.  
 
Herman, Barbara. “Mutual Aid and Respect for Persons.” Ethics, 
vol. 94, no. 4, 1984, pp. 577– 602. JSTOR, Accessed 13 
Feb. 2023.  
 
Mulligan, Martin. “On Ambivalence and Hope in the Restless 
Search for Community: How to Work with the Idea of 
Community in the Global Age.” Sociology, vol. 49, no. 2, 
2015, pp. 340–55. JSTOR, Accessed 10 Feb. 2023.  
 
Paul, Heike. “Expressive Individualism and the Myth of the Self 
-Made Man.” The Myths That Made America: An Introduction 
to American Studies, Transcript Verlag, 2014, pp. 367– 420. 
JSTOR, Accessed 1 Feb. 2023.  


The Joy in Help

Memmer, Henry

The Mall 
Article 
7-17-2023 
Bones of Ink 
Henry Memmer 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/the-mall 
Recommended Citation 
Memmer, Henry (2023) "Bones of Ink," The Mall: Vol. 7 , Article 29. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/the-mall/vol7/iss1/29 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Mall by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 128 
Bones of Ink 
Henry Memmer 
 
I remember the days when I could sit down at my desk for hours at 
a time, writing about anything and nothing in particular, to feel the 
joy of creation, to reflect on a simpler past. To escape the stress and 
monotony of algebra classes and history assignments and focus on 
something more interesting. A place to put pen to paper in order to 
escape the constant internal clamor of voices trying to yell at each 
other. Voices which would say things like “why can’t you be more 
like your sister,” or “have you ever thought about why you were the 
only one hurt when the first Forester crashed years ago?” 
That desk was once a birthplace for ideas, where unsorted stacks of 
paper, varying in size and color, would sit neatly in the corners. Some 
containing new ideas, some holding continuations or repetitions of 
the same things. Now it’s a graveyard, filled with the pale, ink-stained 
bones of abandoned pages, forgotten under piles of the same. Pages, 
like landscapes now turned barren, once filled with unfulfilled 
potential. 
“… Steamcatchers used excess steam and water from the other 
machinery of the Guildhalls and converted it back into purified, 
usable fluids. Sun lamps allowed crops to grow even far underneath 
the punishing dunes above, allowing the hall’s residents to stay away 
from the frequent dust storms which constantly plague the 
surface…” 
Each killed by the same thing, doubt sown by the whisper of a voice, 
followed by the scratch of a pen. “You can’t just rip the setting 
directly from Dune or Fallout.” 
But I haven’t even read Dune. 
“You know the general concept well enough.” 
 129 
“… Kel pointed his light down the icy tunnel, leading far beneath 
Frijor’s snow-covered surface. The bright beam didn’t illuminate a 
bottom. Fastening a rope to icy lip of the tunnel, Kel grabbed his 
climbing picks and prepared to descend…” 
“You can’t just change the sand and dust to snow and ice and call it 
a day.” 
“… underneath the roiling surface, a colorful array of fish and 
marine life swarmed coral-stained rocks. Larger creatures caused the 
schools to disperse, revealing massive sea plants rooted deeper, tall 
enough to almost poke out of the ocean…” 
“Now we’re stealing from Subnautica? Find something more 
original.” 
There are no original concepts anymore. Another piece of paper flies into 
the corner, the once neat piles slowly transforming into a haphazard 
mess. The voice continues to scoff. “Then make one.” 
“…  
‘Why do you beseech me, young writer?’ 
I seek a guiding light to lead my pen. 
‘And why, young writer, would I help you, 
after all the blood of My children of which you have spilt for 
naught?’ 
…” 
“This took you 3 months to come up with? Poetry isn’t that hard.” 
I don’t play with words, I simply set them down to play amongst themselves and 
watch them dance. 
 130 
“You’re trying too hard. Maybe this is a continuation of the 
punishment given by the God of Ink for wasting so much of His 
blood on your mindless ramblings.” 
            Another piece of paper, this one crumpled into a ball, flies 
into the corner. The irregular shape knocks some of the pages lining 
the desk’s edges to the floor as it bounces, reducing the mountain of 
paper to a flattened mound. scattering in a scuffle of noise across the 
floor like tree leaves in a light storm. 
“You don’t have to hyperbolize that much. The image is already 
there.” 
Yet, despite the discarded papers and wasted ink, the pen keeps 
scratching. The sounds of writing drone on through the onset of 
sensory adaptation for hours on end, until they become as hollow as 
the prospect of fully constructing an idea. The voice only grows 
magnitude and frequency to fill in the volume it had consumed, until 
nothing remains except it, hidden by the concept’s outermost crust. 
Now the voice features a mocking whine. “Again with the hyperbole. 
I’m not that annoying, am I?” 
Yes you are.  
“Too bad. I’m a part of you. You can’t just get rid of me.” 
A final page flies into the pile, spilling the topmost pieces of paper 
onto the floor. Each with less writing than the last, and more scratch 
marks. Some even featured slight tears where too much force was 
applied to the flimsy surface. 
“You know you have to clean that up now, right?” 
 
 


Bones of Ink

Magnus, Marek

Ovid 
Volume 1 Writing from Butler University's First 
Year Seminar 2023-2024 Article 40 
2024 
Percussive Passion 
Marek Magnus 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid 
Recommended Citation 
Magnus, Marek (2024) "Percussive Passion," Ovid: Vol. 1 , Article 40. 
Retrieved from: https://digitalcommons.butler.edu/ovid/vol1/iss1/40 
This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the Undergraduate Scholarship at Digital Commons @ 
Butler University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ovid by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Butler 
University. For more information, please contact digitalscholarship@butler.edu. 
 15 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Percussive Passion  
Marek Magnus  
 
 
The chilling oasis masked the truth of the boiling heat outside. This way the orchestra’s stringed 
instruments would maintain their integrity as heat could make the wood expand. The drumline 
assembled before the staggeringly large mirror to critique their own playing. Excitement permeated 
within everyone as they learned the new music for the upcoming marching band season. This, of 
course, resulted in a cacophony of staggering and frantic notes forming a menagerie of rhythms that 
all coiled around each other like ropes; only for the ropes to be pulled tighter and tighter to create an 
amalgamation of what the music once was. The staff members watched them as if they were children 
all running amuck on a playground. It was in that moment…that a remarkable talent was discovered, 
and its recognition was the match head striking the matchbox. 
 Amidst the chaotic playing, I was already past most of the others in terms of learning the 
music and had begun to tinker with bits and pieces. I was much more prone to adding various 
challenging flairs to the music as jokes since I was one of the more advanced drummers along the 
drumline. The most notable trick was that I was able to create a sort of twitch with my fingers so that 
the drumstick would be able to strike the head at an unnatural pace to which nobody else could match, 
not even the staff members. Upon discovering my talent, the staff members coaxed me into thinking 
about a drumming competition that was coming up in a few months. It would be a test to see who 
would be able to play the fastest which I would be a prime candidate for. 
 The desert of information that was the internet served no help to such an esoteric and niche 
subject. The solitude of the office served as a medium through which extensive research was to take 
place. Experiments were set in motion to sail through the waters of discovery as the brainstorming 
would ultimately decide the rocky course. Articles and research flashed on the phone screen regarding 
meditation, physics, anatomy, physiology, and videos of previous competitors of the competition. All 
proved useful in the seemingly eclectic subject of this talent and how it could be controlled and 
wielded. Hours upon hours of meditation of slow alternating drum strokes stimulated muscle 
memory. Laws of physics would serve as hints towards how the stick should be manipulated to 
maximize speed. Anatomy diagrams teaching physiology of the arms and fingers separates this talent 
from being magic to how it is possible. The match is then tossed into sticks and starts to grow. 
 Nowhere will the internet relieve my questions regarding how I could control my talent in a 
way that would make it functional. I could only play fast with my dominant hand, but I needed to 
alternate between both hands for the competition. Every attempt resulted in one hand being slightly 
faster or slower causing them to overlap. How could I perfectly balance the slight time margins 
between something occurring twenty times a second? No straight answer would relieve this, but using 
various topics could help find some answer. Eventually, I was able to control it for five seconds before 
 16 
giving out…I needed to play it for a whole minute. Each few seconds would cause for celebration as 
it was just a step closer, no matter how small. Nobody else would understand my efforts, but this 
passion would fuel me to keep going. I felt special, unique even, to be able to have such a talent that 
made me stand out from thousands of other drummers, millions of people even. The sheer thought 
invigorated my passion to burn brighter and harder to practice and study for hours. Slow motion 
videos of me playing, where I would study my hand movements, taught me how to balance a push-
pull system in which I could control the rebound of the stick and juggle it between my wrist and 
fingers, within twentieths of seconds, to sustain for longer time periods. Deep breathing would keep 
a focused mind as well as delivering oxygen to my forearm muscles to prevent them from tiring from 
burning out. This is not normal…was I going insane…or was this what true unwavering passion felt 
like? 
 The competition was held in the Indiana Convention Center in Indianapolis. One of the 
largest percussion conventions in the world where thousands would gather over its few days of its 
annual existence to celebrate all that is percussive. Thousands that could also compete in the 
competition. The hall the competition was held in was crowded with a plethora of percussion 
instruments. Percussion celebrities gathered to pass on their knowledge as well as flaunt their 
merchandise. A percussionist’s paradise, drums as far as the eye could see. If the drumline was a 
cacophony, then this was an atomic bomb of sound that obligated the workers to hand out free 
earplugs before entering. The booth of the competition consisted of a drum pad with a red rim and a 
surface that had the rebound equivalence of a pillow, in other words…none. A clever device was 
hooked onto the drum pad that would detect vibrations from each stroke that would then be counted 
to a total that would stop tracking after sixty seconds. 
 An entire marching band’s expectations and hopes rested on two shoulders that made their 
way towards the booth that the competition was held. My infectious passion could not be masked as 
a smirk made its mark on my face as I knew that three months of hard work would come to its 
fruition. I was with the rest of the drumline as well as the staff members that had inspired me to begin 
with. They were all supporting me, and I could not let them down. The bell rang, and I fire off strokes. 
The drum pad was noticeably harder to play on which required more force, force that I did not have 
the energy to spend. I trained my stamina with having more rebound to work with to drive my strokes; 
however, the lack of rebound caused me to have to put in more energy to keep the stick moving the 
rate I needed it to go at. Over time, I was winded and started to give out, and, on top of that, I had 
forgotten my breathing exercises which suffocated any chance I had. Still, I had gotten a score of 903 
which was about fifteen strokes per second. Of course, my “fans” cheered as I had gotten second 
place, under a score of 1012. Defeat was the only feeling I felt. Luckily, I could try as many times as I 
wanted. I tried to enjoy my time at the other parts of the convention, but I was still fixated on the 
competition. After all, I had worked so hard, I would not settle for second place. Later, I tried again 
with some more foresight as what to expect, and I scored 1056, giving me first place. However, the 
competition did not end until tomorrow, so I would have to come back to defend my title. 
 The bus ride back to the high school was heavy. Exclamations swam through the air with all 
the excitement that was experienced. The same jocular group had expectations. Expectations that 
were subconscious. Subconsciously thinking that there was a winner on that bus. Dozens of implicit 
stares felt heavy. The night sky felt suffocating. The seats felt cramped. These frantic observations 
were the only way to grapple to reality as fear intruded on this moment. Words of reassurance, praise, 
and encouragement rang hollow as they triggered more expectations. Second place would bring 
sympathy, the same sympathizers would be disappointed at the empty hands of second place. 
Returning to that office, the passion was bewildered. Fear became a gust of wind that would either 
snuff out the flames or fuel it to grow…grow into a forest fire. 
 17 
 Keep training…training until I cannot feel my arms. I was so close and not about to lose it 
all. Everyone accepted that I would win which would certainly cause disappointment if I did not 
produce results. They never explicitly said that they would be disappointed, but they spoke so highly 
of me…I could not risk the disappointment. Hanging my head in shame as their patronization would 
weigh heavy on my ears, this was not the future I could accept. I arrived at the booth once more with 
conviction. I still held first with the second-place participant’s score of 1024 still there…1024!? He 
must have came back to keep fighting…the only response to which would be to fight back. Attempt 
after attempt, going so fast that he would scare me each attempt since the counter would be rising so 
fast that he could have surpassed me with just a few more seconds of playing. 1028, 1030, 1032…the 
margin shrank as it constricted my brain into more doubt. What if he surpassed me? What if I did not 
measure up? How could I face everyone? I lost control over my passion and let the whirlwind of fire 
take over me. The last round of attempts was called up and with it I rose. Each step left a smoldering 
footprint as I emanated determination. He went first, this attempt would decide whether I could relax 
or not. He began, but his technique was different, much faster than before. I had to ease up if I were 
to perform well. It did not matter what he would get since I knew I would top it, I had to. It was my 
turn, my last chance, to show what I was capable of. I started at twenty strokes a second for the first 
half then began to decline, and that was when one of the staff members yelled over the cheering for 
me to breathe. Of course, I had forgotten, through my intense focus, to breathe. One sharp, 
revitalizing breath flushed all the memories of the hard work that led to that moment right into my 
eyes. My arms became extremely feverish to the point of feeling frigid, and my blood felt like pebbles 
screaming as they coursed within me as I made my last stand. 
 Passion should not be founded on expectations; it should be founded on curiosity and 
wonder. The intrigue to pursue life with a force that is ebullient and free is what pure, innate passion 
should come from. I lost sight of why I had started in the first place and became fearful of what others 
thought of me. At the same time, that fear drove me to perform harder. Is it right to let me get driven 
by that fear? I got the result I wanted, but the means were wrought with dread. The passionate majority 
of my journey was what was enjoyable, the fear simply kicked in and gave some 
urgency…overwhelming urgency. Looking back a year later, I can say that the experience taught me 
how to stir passion within me. I also am now wary of my fear of expectations others can have on me. 
Could I manipulate this to my favor? I questioned whether that was healthy as I held up the champion 
belt and smiled for my picture. On the surface I was a winner, but had I lost on the inside? Perhaps 
this was somehow a form of motivation, the beat my heart marches to as it approaches passion. 
Tempo fluctuations dependent on the weight of expectations from others…or even myself. In that 
moment, I smile, not for the camera but, for Dad’s smile. My staff members’ smiles. My peers’ smiles. 
My family’s smiles. Most importantly, my own smile later that night when I could reflect on that day. 
Achievement is only as fruitful as the tree it grew from. All it takes is proper care in the right soil. 
Then, that work is taken and set ablaze with passion to be watched as the flames touch the sky, 
burning brighter than a supernova. Everyone else may only see the incendiary result, but I know of 
the effort it took to grow that tree. To that, I smile the most, as I unflinchingly embrace my work.  
 
  


Butler University

Not a member yet

Front Matter

Thanks, Mom, For My Friends

Distrust and Disparities in Healthcare Among African Americans

The Layers of Indiana’s Public Libraries

Reflections

Rise of Women

The Joy in Help

Bones of Ink

Percussive Passion

THIS is the Bad Place: What Dystopian Literature Tells Us About Oppression and Resistance

15,172

18,054