Journal of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (JMI - York University)

Detore-Nakamura, Joanne

Joanne Detore-Nakamura 
Escape Artist 
I recline on the white, wicker sofa 
with the green and white stripped cushion 
facing the lake and the highway. 
The lake is calm, gentle ripples 
fold into each other, easing toward the shore. 
Just above the bank is the highway. 
The roar of cars drown out 
the twittering song of a finch 
in my leafless Chinese tallow tree. 
There is a line of cars like ants 
streaming past one by one, 
furious to reassemble 
a disturbed mound. 
This is my quiet s o l i t u d e  
writing in my journal with a fountain 
pen, disturbed by the honking of horns 
and the drone of 18-wheelers. 
Who am I to suppose that I can escape 
from my child's cries, the ding 
of dirty dishes, the bark 
of a tiny persistent dog, and 
the grumbling of a husband 
Journal oftbe Association for Researrh on Mothering 1 49 
Joanne Defore-Nakamura 
who thinks the house is never 
clean enough. 
I have no room of my own 
or a minute to myself. 
There is my 500 ~ o u n d s  -
the food, the diapers, 
the dry-cleaning of men's suits, 
the mortgage- there, there 
his dirty underwear hangs halfway off 
the hamper, dingy with 
a stretched out waistband, 
fodder for the trash heap months ago. 
There is no poetry in that. 
50 1 Volume 4, Number 2 


English

Escape Artist

Duncan, Carol B.

"Mammy" in the Erotic Imagery of Anais Nin

Lee, Becky R.

Becky Lee 
Wombs areTreacherous Things 
My womb is dying. My womb is dying. 
This refrain runs through my head 
with each menstrual period now. 
Predictable and familiar for so long, 
my body has begun to bleed at unpredictable times 
and in unfamiliar ways, 
presaging the end of my fertility. 
The words surprise me. 
Their source is a mystery. 
Is it grief? 
Is it joy? 
Oh, wombs are treacherous things. 
Just ask my mother. 
A womb is what defines a woman, 
makes her desirable, 
makes her valuable. 
For, what is a woman, 
who is a woman, 
if she isn't someone's wife 
and someone's mother? 
I refuse to become a wife 
or a mother 
like her. 
That troubles her, 
frightens her. 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 173 
Becky Lee 
If I don't become someone's wife 
I will always be 
her child, 
her responsibility, 
her burden. 
If I don't become someone's mother 
I will never be 
part of the sisterhood of suffering. 
For wombs are treacherous things. 
Hers was not strong enough to birth the baby 
conceived in her conjugal bed. 
I t  had to be cut open 
and stitched shut. 
And the baby that formed within it 
was not ~erfect, 
but a misshapen 
and obdurate creature, 
ungrateful for her sacrifice 
and unwilling to emulate it. 
So my mother reminds me. 
Yes, wombs are treacherous things. 
We cannot choose 
the womb that bears us 
or whom we harbour there. 
We are defined 
by the womb within us. 
This ought to bind 
mother and daughter. 
It has driven us apart. 
'Why can't you be like me?!" 
'Why must I be like you?!" 
My womb is dying. My womb is dying. 
Painful reminder 
of my mother, 
resendul, demanding, 
I rejoice 
that it will soon be silent. 
Last connection 
with she who bore me, 
I am saddened 
that it will soon be still. 
174 ( Volume 4, Number l 


Wombs are Treacherous Things

Harde, Roxanne

Book Reviews 
infant care in England and America from the late 1500s to the late1700s; a 
chapter on mother love in the nineteenth c e n y ,  and a chapter on maternal 
grief arising from miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death during the period 
1920-1985. The section on public policy includes chapters on topics such as 
health, birth control, and maternal employment. While the majority of the 
book focuses on European and American women, eight chapters deal specifi- 
cally with minority cultural groups. Two examples are Loretta J. Ross's, 
"African American Women and Abortion, 1800-1970" and George J. Sanchez's 
"'Go after the women': Americanization and the Mexican Immigrant Woman, 
1915-1929." 
The thematic organization of the book allows for a wide variety of topics 
and eras to be covered. As a result, however, Mothers &Motherhooddoes not 
thoroughly discuss a single period or topic. This might not suit readers who are 
seeking a focussed examination of a specific issue. Readers also will find that the 
book does not offer a comprehensive study of mothering history. Rather it 
encourages knowledgeable readers to discover connections among the various 
chapters. 
Since much of the book consists of reprinted material, many scholars 
already may be familiar with its content. The range of readings included, 
however, and the narrow scope within which most academics work, makes it 
likely that many will uncover new material. The bookwill be useful in women's 
studies courses, since most chapters will be accessible and interesting to 
undergraduate students. In my own experience of teaching of Rima Apple's 
"Constructing Mothers: Scientific Motherhood in the Nineteenth and Twen- 
tieth Centuries," I received enthusiastic feedback from students and found that 
the chapter more than adequately dealt with the issues of &id development 
and mothering. In addition, graduate students and those teaching specialized 
courses on mothering will find the book useful. The editors' provision of 
bibliographies for each section extends the value of the book. Overall, the high 
quality of the book's content and its range of material make it highly suitable 
for personal and institutional libraries. 
Fragments of Motherhood 
Batya Weinbaum 
E. Montpelier, VT: Angel Fish Press, 1996 
Reviewed by Roxanne Harde 
In the three brief poems included in this chapbook, Batya Weinbaum captures 
the essence of mothering a toddler. Weinbaum's work, both free verse and 
216 1 Volume 4, Number l 
Book Reviews 
prose poems, combine her experiences as mother and professor of English. 
Despite several typographical errors and some idiomatic Spanish, the book is 
a delight to read. Weinbaum's descriptive passages are especially well turned; 
for example, she describes herself undergoing root canal as "dependent and 
helpless and psychologically buckled into that crinkly leather chair." Such 
succinct description characterizes Weinbaum's acute observations. 
These observations are linked by Weinbaum's overarching theme of 
motherhood. The opening poem, "Return to Isla: January 1995," describes life 
with a toddler. The speaker has become "Just tits, and a stool to / climb on. 
Something to bite." The poem, however, turns to the better parts of mothering 
a two-year-old, "the appreciation of small moments." W i l e  "Return" lacks the 
depth of subsequent poems, it is itself a "small momentn of appreciation of all 
mothers. "The Abscess of Desire" rejects the image of the mother presented in 
"Return," as the speaker opens with a rich description of her desire for the 
dentist on a small Mexican island. The eroticism of the opening poetry gives 
way to the humorous prose description of her painful root canal and her 
curiosity about the other mouths her dentist examines. These musings soon 
turn to the reality of motherhood, her physical and emotional attachment to her 
young daughter, and their departure from the island. The eroticism of the 
speaker's desire balances her otherwise mechanical attention to life's details. 
"Our Silly Mom" is a charming conflation of generations as Weinbaum 
gives a toddler's view of her mother's quest for spiritual enlightenment. Every 
move made by the mother to find transcendence with a group focussed on 
motherhood is countered by the reality of the child she mothers. As the 
toddler's noise and movement are restricted by women in the ashram, her 
mother privileges the child who must move and sing. The poem carries 
multiplicities of meaning as the voice of the child wavers between adult 
sophistication and descriptions of things children like. For example, she directs 
the narrative with description - "our silly mom got very purposeful" - and 
interjections - "so, as I was saying." She also dwells on the childlike wish to live 
in a school bus. The results are charming; the mother of a toddler has her hands 
full, but this toddler's description of her mother's quest makes dear that 
enlightenment is more likely to be experienced in the intimacy shared by child 
and mother. 
Implicit in Fragments ofMotherhoodis Weinbaum's criticism of those who 
cleave to the ideal of motherhood but dismiss the labour of actual mothering. 
She makes explicit, however, her understanding that the rewards of mother- 
hood are available through physical and emotional work. 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 21 7 


Fragments of Motherhood

Gold, Marion Stichman

Lifeline

Green, Fiona Joy

Book Reviews 
connected and estranged all ethnicities. Marginalized cultures have additional 
childcare concerns: children must not only be healthy and safe but taught to 
survive in a racially divided world. 
The care ofchildren and the working mother continues to be a hot political 
topic and the right ofwomen to work is still part of a large, conflicted political 
agenda. Working mothers continue to be viewed as pathologically neglectful 
both of their children and of their duty to society. Ladd-Taylor has documented 
the history of the relationship between working mothers and government. 
Mother- Work cautions that domestic and family issues have a serious and 
complex political history. They demand renewed and serious attention; they 
require solutions of tomorrow, not those of yesterday. 
Trans Forming Families: 
Real Stories About Transgendered Loved Ones 
Mary Boenke, ed. 
Imperial Beach, California: Walter Trook Publishing,l999 
Reviewed by Fiona Joy Green 
Trans Forming Families was inspired by editor Mary Boenke's personal journey 
of coming to terms with and supporting her middle child's transition from 
female to male. This is a collection of narratives written by people living in 
England, Iran, the Netherlands, and North America about living with trans 
family members. For those new to this topic, a glossary of transgender terms, 
a list of American National Transgender Organizations (including web sites 
and email addresses), and a brief reading list of transgender works published 
between 1990 and 1997 are included at the back of the book. 
Readers will be moved by the clearlywritten, honest stories in this modest 
146-page book I was touched by Boenke's opening dedication to her son and 
to transgendered persons and their families. I developed an appreciation for the 
close kinship within trans communities as I read the forward and introduction 
written by trans activists. Examples of the intense struggles and perseverance 
of family and friends are woven throughout the four sections of the book: 
raising gender-variant children; learning from our children of all ages; inventive 
love relationships; and crucial others. 
Each story is prefaced with a brief, contextualizing biography of the 
author. I felt part of a sharing circle in which people speak openly about the 
trials of living with, loving, and supporting people who are unhappy in their 
bodies. While I do not have a story of my own, I live-as we all do-among 
transgendered people and, as my family grows and changes, I could find myself 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 211 
Book Reviews 
sharing the experiences described in this book. I felt the pain of parents who 
write of helping their children through puberty in bodies they hate; I relearned 
the importance of listening to children; and I gained renewed respect for the 
courage and strength it takes for children to speakofwhat they know and need. 
As I read of the love people have for their trans partners, I reflected upon the 
meaning of my own gender, sex, and body and those of my partner's. I thought 
about my relationship with my spouse and wondered how I might respond to 
my partner, to other family members, or to their partners should they become 
transgendered. 
While the accounts in this volume reveal the feelings ofpain, anguish, and 
anxiety felt by people living in bodies that do not match their internal gender 
identity (gender dysphoria), they also reveal the feelings of individual family 
members. Many speak offeelings of shock, denial, isolation, anger, depression, 
and finally acceptance that are associated with the grieving process of losing a 
loved one. Linda Milligan adds a visual dimension to these feelings with four 
black and white paintings entitled "Healing Through Art." 
This volume, however, is much more than a chronicle of the pain, hope, 
and joy of loving trans people. It is a much needed resource for families dealing 
with the difficulties associated with gender and sex transition. Support groups 
and counseling for all family members can help people adjust over time to their 
new realities. Being open and honest about transforming identities can assist 
others (including school authorities, peers, colleagues, and family members) to 
accept trans people. 
Throughout my reading of Trans Forming Families, I was reminded of the 
need for social activists to build coalitions. I see how feminist and trans activists 
could work together around common issues (such as sex, gender, ability, size, 
reproduction, race, and sexuality) to strengthen their respective political bases 
and strategies. Collectively andlor individually, these communities could work 
against discrimination and the oppression of people according to biology and 
work towards achieving autonomy for all individuals. 
Wake Up Little Susie: 
Single Pregnancy and Race before 
Roe v. Wade, Second ed. 
Rickie Sollinger 
New York: Routledge, 2000. 
Reviewed by Bernice L. Hausman 
Originally published in 1992, this second edition of Wake Up Little Swie has a 
212 1 Volume 4, Number l 


Trans Forming Families: Real Stories About Transgendered Loved Ones

Arvay, Marla J.

Keats, Patrice A.

Opening Pandora’s Box: Examining the Implications of Mothers’ Adolescent Sexuality Narratives on Mother-Daughter Relationships

Hennessy, Susan S.

Bearing the Cross of Sterility: Childless Women of Les Rougon-Macquart

Dunlop, Rishma

Rishrna Dunlop 
Berceuse 
for RacheI 
Her easy smile 
is everpresent 
on her child-woman's 
face. 
I drift back 
through the ebb of time, 
rocking the cradle, 
smooth pine against my thigh. 
Her eyes, 
shining black crystals, 
incandescent truths 
loomed across the 
white silence 
of moonlit nursery. 
I give her 
to the tidal pulls 
of sleep and dreams, 
my hand cupped beneath her heart, 
wondering at her 
seamlessness, 
searching 
for the blue-skinned 
grips 
of iron hands 
in the tearing out. 
Journal ofthe Association fot Research on Mothering 1 31 


Berceuse

Journal of the Association for Research on Mothering
Spring/Summer 2002, Vol 4, No 1, 283 pages