Journal of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (JMI - York University)

English

Contributor Notes

Panofsky, Ruth

At Odds in the World: The Memoirs of Fredelle Bruser Maynard and Joyce Maynard

Büskens, Petra

From Perfect Housewife to Fishnet Stockings and Not Quite Back Again: One Mother's Story of Leaving Home

Peets, Christine

Book Reviews 
Caplan writes social construction theoryfor a mass audience. Thus, blame 
is placed on society--which disadvantages women-not on mothers them- 
selves. Caplan's point is that understanding the root of negative feelings helps 
us make positive changes in our relationships with our mothers, with our 
daughters, and with other people, especially since mother-daughter relations 
are felt to impact on all other relationships. She emphasizes "building bridges," 
"repairing the rift," and thevalue ofcommunication. This self-help bookargues 
for one important and laudable strategy: that women strive to humanize their 
mothers, since a mother is also a person, a woman in her own right. 
Dutiful Daughters: 
Caring for Our Parents as They Grow Old 
Jean Gould, ed. 
Seal Press, 1999 
Reviewed by Christine Peets 
I had expected Dut@firlDaugbters to be a "how-to" book on caring for parents. 
What I found instead was a compelling collection of 22 essays not so much on 
the "mechanics" ofcaring for parents- arranging home care, nursing home care, 
and looking after finances- but the emotional rollercoaster of "doing it all." 
In  her introduction to the collection, editor Jean Gould shares her own 
experiences of caring for her own mother, first visiting a retirement home and 
then in her mother's apartment. For Gould, the world of eldercare is akin to 
travelling in a foreign country, without benefit of the knowledge of either 
custom or language. Although she writes about the United States, the experi- 
ences she described could be universal. As we age ourselves, we realize that our 
parents may reach the point of no longer being able to care for themselves. But 
they are the adults, and we are the children; therein lies the problem of giving 
care without taking over. 
The essays explore many emotions, including those we do not always allow 
ourselves to express or, in some cases, even acknowledge. Mixed with one's love 
and respect for a parent is a melange of emotions: pride, remorse, g d t ,  anger, 
and anxiety. Strengths and weaknesses are discovered in both parents and 
children. Readers will feel empathy for, and perhaps identity with the writers 
in the volume, many of whom simply tell without telling us how they feel. 
All ofthe essays are written bywomen; although, as Gould points out, this 
does not mean that sons do not care for agingparents. I t  is unfortunate that she 
206 1 Volume 4, Number I 
Book Reviews 
did not seekout essays by men. I t  would be interesting to learn if the emotional 
responses and experiences of men are similar to those of women who care for 
aging parents. That criticism aside, the collection shows the strengths and 
vulnerabilities of a diverse group ofwomen who share their stories and describe 
the energy required to be in two lives, their own and their parents. 
Reading these stories gives us permission to think what otherwise might 
have been unthinkable: that to trulybe "dutiful" to our parents, we first have to 
be true to ourselves. This bookshould be read by daughters entering the foreign 
land of elder care, and by their brothers, husbands, and sons so we all can learn 
to care for our parents, in awaythat maintains the dignityofeveryone involved. 
And the Skylark Sings With Me: 
Adventures in Home-Schooling and 
Community-Based Education 
David H. Albert 
Gabriola Island, BC: New Society Publishers, 1999 
Reviewed by Andrea Toepell 
David Albert is a supporter ofpublic education. But, as much as he likes the idea 
of universal education, he sought to educate his own two children to the best 
of his ability. He  did not send them to public school. Instead, he created a 
home- and community-based educational environment for them. And, some 
ten years later, he is proud to show off the results. His daughters achieved 
enviable levels of mastery in many areas, especially music and science. 
Albert is careful to demonstrate that his family is not genetically "loadedn 
with musical talent. He reasons that success is possible when children are 
allowed to blossom on their own terms, in their own time, in a culturally rich 
environment. Albert argues that most, if not all, children can attain high levels 
of achievement, given an appropriate level of support and guidance. Albert 
suggests that the public educational system cannot possibly provide the 
environment necessary for outstanding success. (The book refers to the 
American educational system, but it is likely applicable to the Canadian 
educational system as well.) 
In  order to provide the optimal developmental milieu for their children, 
the author and his wife made significant changes to their lives. They both left 
their careers and found employment that enabled them to devote their time and 
energy to raising and educating their children. It appears from the book that 
these new forms of employment were less rewarding-intellectually and 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 207 


Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents as They Grow Old

Dunlop, Rishma

Rishma Dunlop 
Catherine 
for Catherine June Troy Dunlop (1926-1997) 
The Ship's Company of the "Aquitanian send you best wishes 
for your happiness and good fortune in your new life in the 
great Dominion, the country of your adoption. 
March 1946 
Widow's skin parched 
spilling memory in waves 
bloodremembering 
across cool, hospital sheets. 
Dreams of dancing 
her gnarled joints unknotted, 
flesh supple, 
spinning to Tommy Dorsey's big band music 
cheek held against his khaki uniform 
his wide smile spanning 
the smoke-filled canteen. 
She remembers scents, 
liquid memories, exotic promise 
in the drabness of war 
Crepe de Chine, Shalimar 
In  London at the chemist's shop 
her soldier buys her Chanel No.5. 
The chemist has a nose for perfume 
The top note, he tells them, the oneyou smellfirst, 
is the man-made synthetic aldehyde 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 99 
then the middle notes, jasmine, lily of the valley, orris-root andylang-ylang. 
Finally, the base notes that make thepe@me linger: 
vetiver, sandalwood, cedar, vanilla, amber, civet and musk. 
Base notes are of animal origin, ancient memories ofsmell beginning 
in vast plains and forests. 
It  is scent that disturbs her drift of sleep 
perfitmare, through smoke. 
She remembers ships ofwar brides 
with their infants cradled 
in the scent of salt air, 
sailing into the arms 
of Halifax harbour. 
She becomes his geography 
inhabited by mists, 
Atlantic foam at her feet, 
her body embedded 
in fields of violets and wild berries, 
endless harvests, 
her blood flowing 
in the veins 
of new country. 
Now, she resists the pull 
of winter, 
the deep white territory 
of skin and ghosts 
she insists upon another day 
does not want the slow descent 
into ice. 
I reach for her to stop time 
with my heat 
breathing fire into 
the clasp 
of paper dry hands. 
100 1 Volume 4, Number2 


Catherine

Varga, Donna

Book Reviews 
myths of Avalon. She takes us on a fascinating journey through ancient myths 
and Renaissance scholarship. 
Finally, Weinbaum takes us to the IslaMujeres (Island ofwomen) off the 
coast of Yucatan. Here, she shares her daily life as diviner, graduate student, 
pregnant woman, and later as mother to illustrate the cultural collision of 
"primitive folk wisdom" and the "advanced Western mind." Weinbaum 
claims, "we project a transference onto the island's opaque open door from our 
own need to compensate for loss in Modern society" (161). Readers learn how 
Weinbaum and the indigenous people relate: she comes from the culture the 
islanders envy and mimic, while she is searching for what predates tourism and 
the stage-managed, packaged local culture. These oppositions come together 
in her .experience of childbirth where she is attended by a senora midwife, a 
British woman doctor, and a local young woman educated to be a nurse. 
Although she seeks guidance from her midwife, Weinbaum's fear and lack of 
knowledge cause her to turn to the British doctor during labour. She 
acknowledges that we are "part and parcel ofwhat we study" (234) and finally 
comes to see how Amazons and islands of women are rendered invisible. 
Weinbaum concludes that in the "unhinged culture" of America, people are 
searching for "an Eden of sustained nurturance" (239). She invites her female 
readers to create their own stories of Amazons, to deepen their sense of being 
embodied, generative, and spiritual women. 
Mothers and Motherhood: 
Readings in American History 
Rima D. Apple and Janet Golden, eds. 
Columbus: Ohio State University Press, 1997 
Reviewed by Donna Varga 
Mothers U Motherhood Readings in American His to  y brings together a compi- 
lation of social and cultural writings on the issue of mothering as constructed 
and lived. Oftwenty-five chapters, all but three have been previously published; 
with one exception, the chapters were first publishedin the 1980s or 1990s.The 
readings have been organized into four thematic sections: the social construc- 
tion of motherhood; motherhood and reproduction; social and cultural set- 
tings; and public policy. Within each section, contributions cover a variety of 
issues and focus on a range ofhistorical periods. For example, the section on the 
social construction of motherhood includes a chapter on breastfeeding and 
Journal ofthe Association for Research on Mothering 1 215 
Book Reviews 
infant care in England and America from the late 1500s to the late1700s; a 
chapter on mother love in the nineteenth c e n y ,  and a chapter on maternal 
grief arising from miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death during the period 
1920-1985. The section on public policy includes chapters on topics such as 
health, birth control, and maternal employment. While the majority of the 
book focuses on European and American women, eight chapters deal specifi- 
cally with minority cultural groups. Two examples are Loretta J. Ross's, 
"African American Women and Abortion, 1800-1970" and George J. Sanchez's 
"'Go after the women': Americanization and the Mexican Immigrant Woman, 
1915-1929." 
The thematic organization of the book allows for a wide variety of topics 
and eras to be covered. As a result, however, Mothers &Motherhooddoes not 
thoroughly discuss a single period or topic. This might not suit readers who are 
seeking a focussed examination of a specific issue. Readers also will find that the 
book does not offer a comprehensive study of mothering history. Rather it 
encourages knowledgeable readers to discover connections among the various 
chapters. 
Since much of the book consists of reprinted material, many scholars 
already may be familiar with its content. The range of readings included, 
however, and the narrow scope within which most academics work, makes it 
likely that many will uncover new material. The bookwill be useful in women's 
studies courses, since most chapters will be accessible and interesting to 
undergraduate students. In my own experience of teaching of Rima Apple's 
"Constructing Mothers: Scientific Motherhood in the Nineteenth and Twen- 
tieth Centuries," I received enthusiastic feedback from students and found that 
the chapter more than adequately dealt with the issues of &id development 
and mothering. In addition, graduate students and those teaching specialized 
courses on mothering will find the book useful. The editors' provision of 
bibliographies for each section extends the value of the book. Overall, the high 
quality of the book's content and its range of material make it highly suitable 
for personal and institutional libraries. 
Fragments of Motherhood 
Batya Weinbaum 
E. Montpelier, VT: Angel Fish Press, 1996 
Reviewed by Roxanne Harde 
In the three brief poems included in this chapbook, Batya Weinbaum captures 
the essence of mothering a toddler. Weinbaum's work, both free verse and 
216 1 Volume 4, Number l 


Mothers and Motherhood: Readings in American History

Weinbaum, Batya

Book Reviews 
The Mother's Guide to Sex: 
Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of 
Motherhood 
Anne Semans and Cathy Winks 
New York:Three Rivers, 2001 
Reviewed by Batya Weinbaum 
The jacket blurb describes The Mother's Guide to Sex as "a hip, no-holds barred 
guide to sex and motherhood."This bookraises controversial topics such aswhy 
single moms are entitled to great sex, and how to get it; and ten good reasons 
to talk to your children about sex, and what to say. It is a good book to have in 
your office-if you teach women-for your pregnant students. The Mother's 
Guide reminds us: "Given that most ofus were raised believingwe shouldn't talk 
about sex, it's no wonder that we find it a daunting task" (61). 
This book leads you through the life-changing event of giving birth. A 
valuable chapter, "Sex and the Single Mom," explores topics such as what and 
when to tell your dates about your children. The authors advise, "most moms 
find that full disclosure helps them separate the wheat from the chaff when it 
comes to screening out unsuitable partners" (260); and "it's best not to let your 
lovers spend too much time with your kids until you've become more serious 
about your relationship" (252). Semans and Winks recognize that "until society 
prioritizes the needs of moms - including quahty child care (subsidized and on 
Journal ofthe Associationfor Research on Mothering 1 197 
Book Reviews 
site), paid maternity and paternityleaves, job sharing, and family-friendlywork 
environments, we're never going to have enough time. So our advice to YOU is 
to grab the moments you can for personal pleasure. And seize every possible 
opportunity to agitate for social change" (249-250). 
Other chapters explore topics such as building self-esteem, becoming a 
mother, sexuality as a parent, and raising sexually healthy children. The list of 
parenting resources at the back of the book are invaluable - I wish I'd had them 
at my fingertips earlier. In fact, the lists contain many addresses, websites, and 
telephone numbers I will pass on to my students. The list of research 
organizations will provide the basis for essays and reports, and the list ofhotline 
numbers listed will be useful for students, as well. In fact, this book will help 
raise the consciousness of all readers. 
At the Breast: 
Ideologies of Breastfeeding and Motherhood 
in the Contemporary United States 
Linda M. Blum 
Boston: Beacon Press, 1999 
Reviewed by Lara Foley 
Linda Blum's book, as its subtitle suggests, provides a complex and nuanced 
portrait of ideologies of breastfeeding and motherhood in the United States. 
She analyzes nineteenth and twentieth century medical discourses, popular 
advice literature on motherhood and breastfeeding, as well as data from 
participant observation and interviews with 28 members and leaders of La 
Leche League. Further, in an effort to hear the stories ofwomen who might be 
less influenced by dominant discourses, particularly working-class white and 
African-American mothers, Blum examines interview data from 34 women, 
recruited from an urban family practice clinic serving primarily low-income 
clients, as well as 19 women working as low-status hospital workers. 
Blum situates motherhood and breastfeeding as both personal experience 
and public issue, developed in the context of power relations. She suggests that 
scholarship on motherhood historically has either privileged lived-experience 
or has constructed mothers as subjects of institutional and cultural discourses. 
Blum argues that a scholarly discussion of motherhood should encompass 
"women's stories, but fiarned knowledgeably, sympathetically in larger con- 
texts; it is aviewofwomen as active subjects but subject toparticular constraints 
and conventionsn (10). Her work does exactly that. 
Blum gives an excellent overview of feminist theories on motherhood and 
198 ( Volume 4, Number l 


The Mother's Guide to Sex: Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of Motherhood

Jeremiah, Emily

Mother Time: Women, Aging and Ethics

Mikolchak, Maria

Pregnancy the Natural Way

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Contributor Notes

At Odds in the World: The Memoirs of Fredelle Bruser Maynard and Joyce Maynard

Contributor Notes

From Perfect Housewife to Fishnet Stockings and Not Quite Back Again: One Mother's Story of Leaving Home

Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents as They Grow Old

Catherine

Mothers and Motherhood: Readings in American History

The Mother's Guide to Sex: Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of Motherhood

Mother Time: Women, Aging and Ethics

Pregnancy the Natural Way

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