California State University (CSU): Open Journal Systems

Zimmerman, Richard

D ea t h  by 
D r o\N n i n g 
R i c h ard Zimmerma n  
Gladys sits by the phone 
and listens to the olive 
soak up her martini. 
Outside, the sycamores lay 
shadows on the lawn. 
Inside, the glass cast s  
shadows o n  the table. 
Gladys eases herself into her drink 
and grabs hold of the green float. 
Her phone rings 
but no one's home 
except Gladys 
and the olive 
with its pimento; 
all three slowly sinking in the glass. 
She tries to grasp the rim 
but the sides are too steep. 
The phone keeps ringing 
the olive yawns 
its pimiento escapes 
only to drown 
along with Gladys 
in the bottom of the glass. 
5 9  


English

Death by Drowning

Pronk, Ron

Th e E a rt h  
R o s e  Pa i nt i n g  
R o n  Pra n k  
The earth rose painting 
in sun wrinkled air 
Mountains of petals 
Cauliflower on flushed canvas 
in pointillist fog 
7 4  


The Earth Rose Painting

Comenas, Cathy

B a d  A rt 
Cathy Comenas 
My eyes find you 
at a close distance 
I'm safe here 
shaking in my shoes 
an earthquake 
Smell you everywhere 
don't know the name of your perfume 
I'd buy it, spray you all through 
my atmosphere 
I'm ready to sell myself 
at cost to you 
you won't buy me in fear 
I'd sit in the closet 
collecting dust like some 
bad art 
s o  


Bad Art

Webster, Laura

B rass B a rs 
Laura Webster 
The sky was blue ,  and the sun an astig matical ly f ixated 
boi l i ng  steam i ron beh ind my shou lder, and my wife was late. 
Ten m inutes. So I read The LA. Times and counted funerals 
classified wh i le  cars honked and women howled. 
My coat hung heavy l ike hot gold chai ns, my wife's 
wedd ing band, wrapped across my chest and around my 
waist t ight. So I took it off and laid it on my leather briefcase 
against the bench. I loosened the tie Carol bought, then took 
it off and put it i ns ide my gen u i ne leather briefcase. 
A mountain of s i lver m i rror broke down in curv ing beams 
of heat against the cement s idewal k. B ig black letters b lew 
up l i ke a large warn ing "P.T. Colossus Structured I nsurance 
Un incorporated." Lig ht stabbed agai nst my eyes to b l ind me. 
Sweat hung on the a i r. A box screamed. 
"What's in  the box? " I asked the old woman whose large 
cardboard box rocked in her arms. 
"Why, it 's Haro ld. " Her soft face twi n kled a computerized 
smi le. The l i nes went hard. "Come closer and I ' l l  let you meet 
h im." I m oved along the bench trying to avoid red gum. She 
untied the twine bow and l ifted a smal l  corner of  f lap .  I moved 
closer and caught yellow g lint. The cat cried. The woman 
pushed back the f lap and started tying the bow up again. 
"I don't think he likes being caged up l ike that. " 
"Well ,  I have to. Can't leave him at home alone. " She 
hugged the box t ig ht. 
" I  th i n k  it's rather cruel to keep h i m  in that box. Doesn't 
seem l i ke he cou ld  breathe." She turned red. 
" But I have to keep h i m  in . . .  I can't leave h i m  at my 
apartment. You . . .  understand?" 
"U nderstand? " 
" I  l ive in Ho l lywood. I f  I leave h i m  there they' l l  get him. " 
" Come now, the m ice aren't that big a problem." M y  poor 
joke s l ipped by and the old woman showed confusion. She 
became disoriented and no longer looked in my eyes. Her 
del icate hands fu mbled with the box. Her  voice cracked h igh .  
"They come out as soon as I leave. They want to get h im." 
"I ' m  sorry, but I just don' t  u nderstand what you're tal k i ng 
27 
Webster/Brass Bars 
about lady." 
" Why, the com mun ists! who e lse?" Her eyes bu lged 
overfed bal loons. I wanted to laugh.  
"There' s no commun ists." She sat stun ned. B lood shot 
through her eyes. 
"I . . .  know . . .  I . . .  don' t  try to l i e  to me. You can't te l l  me I 
don't know . . .  You! You' re a commun ist." Her  body shook as 
she stood up and faced me. She could n't tu rn her back, not 
on me. She picked up the box and hurried off screaming 
about commun ists. A b lue scarf bobbing among human 
islands. The box heavy, pu l l i ng  her  c loser to the grou nd. 
" And when you grow up we' I I  get you a small monkey l i ke 
that, r ight mom? " Mom had her hand i n  dad's. 
"J ust as long as he keeps it in its cage, and c leans up 
after it." 
" Would you l i ke that Stevie?" I watched the monkey pick 
off the fleas from its baby and soon became disgusted with 
the whole idea. The monkeys were no longer my favorite 
animal in the zoo. I wanted to leave. 
" N o, it smel ls  bad here. I wan na go home." I whi ned and 
my parents gave in .  Tigers purred in  s low monotone, almost 
helpless, growls; e lephants bathed under  plast ic tru nks; the 
bear wore a c i rcu lar  path on his square of earth; and the b i rd 
laid h is  head letharg ical ly o n  h is  wing. I approved and we left. 
From the rear window of my dad's big car I waved goodbye to 
the zoo. 
I stood up and walked beh ind the bench to stretch, and 
laced fingers against the back of my head and felt a knot. 
Suddenly I was pushed agai nst the bench. My back i n  pain. 
" H ey watch where you're going. " I turned and the woman's 
face was blank. The shopping cart held brown wrinked bags 
and torn d i rt rags that resembled cloth ing of some sort. 
"Dunt da dunt da da." 
" I  beg your pardon." 
" Da da da da." 
"I don't understand. I ' m  sorry. If it' s the t ime you want walk 
over to the other side of the b u i ld ing and you' l l  f ind a clock at 
the top." I was ti red of dea l ing  with morons. She looked 
through me with eyes crystal b lank. Her  face d ried mud and 
her hair held leaves. 
"You remember m e," she said softly. " M other." 
" N o. I ' m  sorry, I'm not your  mother." I backed away from 
her and moved to the other end of the bench. Her  face broke 
into a big smi le .  
28 
NORTHRIDGE REVIEW 
"You look so pretty mother . . .  I ' m  so g lad to be home." 
She pu l led her shoppi ng cart back and tu rned it around as if 
noth ing had been said, or as if it had been said years earl ier 
and never now. She pu l led her black shaggy shawl higher on 
her shou lders and started to wal k. Her  bare feet l i ke c lubs. 
She babbled a chant that went somewhat l i ke lonel i ness, and 
was gone. I imag i ned her th rowing out untied anchors and 
sat down and closed my eyes. 
" You'l l work your  way from the ground u p," commanded 
P.T. with grey suit and block face. The same face Carol had 
inherited. " I ' m  afra id we don't play favorites here." 
" Of course s i r. Don't be afraid." That s lipped past him and 
my nervousness remained in tact. H e  sat at his desk with 
th ick g lasses and stern calcu lat ion. The photographs of J udy 
and Carol stared at h i m  from the corner of the desk. 
"Why d idn't she l isten to m e?" H e  bent his head and 
began to rub what must have been a horn. 
" I  am wi l l i ng to accept any posit ion you can offer me. You 
realize this involves you r  daug hter." Somehow it fe lt l i ke 
blackmai l. H is face set to stone and h is eyes s hot out l i ke 
metal bars. 
" Of course Steve, I must g ive you a chance. I love my 
daug hter deeply." He stud ied my face hard then loudly said, 
"O .K. my boy you've got a job. I 'm sticking you with the sales 
crew." He later took me out to buy some work c lothes and my 
genuine leather briefcase. Carol was happy and her dad was 
happy. They both wore amused sm i les. 
" You'd look better without that beard. You don't real ly  
need it." I opened my eyes to shadow, then focused on the 
old man d ressed in b rown imitation leather pants and g reen 
shirt. H is hair white, he beamed fluorescent computer term inal 
l ights. N o! he beamed s u n l ight. " M en with beards look l i ke 
apes." H is eyes sparked l i ke an ign it ion . . .  no, l i ke d iamonds 
deep with i n  the earth. 
" Listen old man, I rea l ly  don't  care what you th ink. " H is 
smi le d ri pped mud. There was rea l ly no structure, j ust broken 
face. 
"No wait . . .  I 'm sorry, I d id n't mean to offend you. I just 
want to talk. My name's J ac k." He held out a pale claw and I 
automatical ly handed h im smooth perfect p lastic. We s hook. 
Me with precis ion ,  yet a gap was f i l led. "When I was a boy I 
worked on the farm my parents owned. We g rew fields of 
turn i ps and when the season turned, it was my job to bring 
them up from the g round. " H e  looked at me with eyes warm 
29 
Webster/Brass Bars 
l i ke popcorn in a pan and sm i le  buttery. H is hair l i ke salt. I was 
hungry. 
"Damn my wife, she was su pposed to pick me up over 
thirty m inutes ago." The old man moved closer on my com­
ment. H e  remi nded me of the ch i ld  who wanted to break al l 
the locks. 
" I  used to be married but my wife d ied. I 've got th ree k ids. 
Now far away. Don't ever get o ld .  Don't ever know." Eyes l i ke 
yolk orbs s l id on me. "You shou ld be on b i l lboards or  
someth ing. You're perfect." 
"Dad, do you th ink  any of the g i rls  w i l l  dance with me?" 
" Of course. A l l  of them wi l l  want to dance with you. That's 
the game of it, you just have to be carefu l." I looked i n  the 
mi rror and cr i nged at the zit on my ch in . 
" But dad, I don't  understand." 
"Slowly one s l ides the neck of the bar in p lace and next 
th ing you know it's locked." 
" But dad, I don't understand." 
N o, regard less of my hunger. H is face was sti l l  cracked 
like earth drying up after a storm. H is smi le  dried wide. 
" N o, real ly, you shou ld, I ' m  sure you' re very popu lar. 
Women must have said th ings." I was amused. H is s m i le 
cracked at the corners, bits of earth flying.  "When I was young 
I was handsome." 
" She' s  late. Very late th is t ime." I said, wh i le looking at my 
watch .  
" Women," he  snarled, "good for  noth ing." I wanted to 
cement h i s  muddy face. M ake it fit i nto place. Log ical . " I ' m  
now alone . . .  I l ive in  a cardboard box where they feed me 
sawdust. " H e  paused for  the cars revv ing their  eng ines. 
Moving fast forward . . .  fast. " I was once l i ke you." I d id n't 
move. Only listened. Record i ng i nformation . . .  the tape 
moved forward. 
He came forward. "You' re very handsome. I wou ld  like to 
be friends with you . . .  g ood fr iends. " He came c loser. The 
tape ran o ut. I breathed al ive and moved away with instru­
mental precis ion. Stepping out of the mud on a rainy day. 
"You' re go ing to be l ike me, don't look at me l i ke that, you' re 
going to be j ust l i ke me. You are me . . . I hope you l i ke 
sawd ust." I i gnored h i m  by looking at my watch. I thought 
about the smal l  co i led spr ings,  min iatu re levers, and the 
perfect metal worki ngs. "You don't know yet. H ow can you." 
H e  put h i s  claws on my arm. I shook, my wal l s  too th in ,  
wondering if I 'd  ho ld .  I 'd forg ive her poss i b ly, but  now she 
30 
NOR THRIDGE REVIEW 
was an hour late. 
" My w ife wi l l  be here soon." M u d  crumbled to d ust, which 
th ickened upon cement. I cou ld  on ly see cement. I wou ldn't  
know any more. 
"Yes," he s ighed. " She w i l l .  I know she wi l l ." I stared at h is  
shoes they were im itation leather. Raw im itat ion.  Real? I lost 
my sense of structure for a moment. The images changed 
and wou ldn't s it  sti l l ,  but only briefly. The old man patted my 
knee. I was cal m. He moved away from me and sat back 
against the bench. 
" H ey, doesn't anyone know when the bus is supposed to 
come?'' H i s  question was fol lowed with a round of moos. H e  
lit a cigarette then picked u p  The LA. Times a n d  turned to the 
funeral sect ion.  Caro l d rove up and un locked the passenger 
side door. I smi led and j u m ped in my cage. 
31 


Brass Bars

H o m e  
for gary 
Cathy Comenas 
When n i ght enters 
the Cabl e Car H otel 
he goes to some c l u b  
where t h e  s m e l l  of 
whis key, sex in the bathroom 
h its h i m  in a black leather g love 
the m us i c  beats h i m  u p  
I I  
Red spiked hair dusted with sand, salt 
a cross hangs from his ear 
cold n ight eats through black leather 
blue th i n  s ki n  s hakes 
He waits for s low death 
in a baggie of white powder 
his arms e m pty holes 
Waves pop below pier 31 
faint m us i c  cuts th ick air 
as fog locks h i m  i n  the parki ng lot 
64 
NORTHRIDGE REVIEW 
I l l  
Dirty clothes piled in the closet, 
a sack of rotten potatoes 
Music from live nudes acting out bondage 
on stage nextdoor 
He sits in the middle of the room 
poking a bent needle into a blue, black hole 
The sun cr.eeps up over the city 
he throws up In the sink 
then lays down 
65 


Home: For Gary

Glaeser, Jim

Son net 
Honorable Mention, 1984- 1985 Academy of American Poets 
Competition 
jim Glaeser 
Five in the afternoon, sometime i n  May 
and hot. I 'm l istening to the Dodgers 
play the Mets, wh i le I read an anthology 
of Spanish poetry. A left-hander's 
pitch i ng for Los Angeles, and the Mets 
are starting a rookie from Tidewater. 
I fol low the game and read the poets 
between i n n i ngs. Vin Scu l ly, the broadcaster, 
cal l s  the play by play, the way Vallejo 
m ight have done in another c i rcumstance 
with poets and major league pitchers so 
s im i lar, that you can't tel l  the d ifference 
between Fernando Valenzuela 
and Federico Garcia Lorca. 
2 


Sonnet: Honorable Mention, 1984-1985 Academy of American Poets Competition

Westerbeck, Dortha

Sp i tti ng Off Seeds and 
Mangoes Refl ecti ng Sky 
Dortha Westerbeck 
Placed the un iverse can be 
with i n  a cement c i rcled cover 
or a grate straight 
unsmi l ing as m istresses sh unning 
sheets 
those clouds reflect cement 
medal l ioned sky catch ing ground 
there i s  a l i teral ness i n  thi ngs that overwhelms me 
I do not know where to pick the beginn ing 
hope 
too much for chalk r is ing dances and 
someone left a 3 poised in an i nf in ite triangle 
,there, by you r  right, not left, hand 
and through looking at the extension of your i ndex finger 
you saw its unmuted poi nt wink more than fictive 
thi ngs at wincing widows 
+ bl inked 
the worry of cars 
hover 
a cement shrouded 
sky to si lence 
ready to thunder 
9 
NORTHRIDGE REVIEW 
my eyes have been bathed bl ind 
past the reinking of s ight 
I want the poetry of Dove soap boxes 
bri mming boxes bringing 
settl ing hope 
im macu late as warm gir ls 
with sou ls penanced for god 
spaced cars form on curbs 
hold ing your h i p  
its curve fi l l ing m y  palm 
I 'd l i ke to pu l l  forth a chi ld 
from a bit  of bone 
sleep warmed waked 
to elaborate rain 
turn 
slowing tubs 
sprout intimacy + avowal 
shoes hold feet 
Rise Rise 
steep from sleep 
sweep + weep at once 
once past s l i pping 
is on 
10 


Spitting Off Seeds and Mangoes Reflecting Sky

Halley, Blaine

Effie\u27s Wing

Means-Ybarra, Ricardo

ricardo means-ybarra 
After the d ivorce 
small candles make Sunday d ifficu lt 
parking at the church where 
my grandmother forces me to look 
into this place 
dark as a drive up the coast 
when n ight has carried off 
the beach swings and Jungle Gyms 
left ice cream and towels 
in the m idd le of the road 
packs of dogs waiting 
under the g uard towers. 
I know my grandmother's with St. Teresa 
in the a lcove 
of the 25c candles. 
Beautifu l  St. Teresa, the nuns said she used 
crucifixion equ ipment to stop the ache 
a martyr 
waiting for me 
to l ight another 
of the thin matches in the center 
of my palm. 
But I won't do it. 
I l i t  them al l  when I was a kid 
unti l the l ight c l imbed into 
the hard wood of the pews 
and I'd lay there 
stare at the smoke 
and thin k  of her. 
1 3  


After the divorce

Gonzales, Amy

amy gonzales 
Property Values 
Noth ing moves iri the summer, in  Fresno. Nothing but the 
dust, and that only when a breeze blows. Sarah sat on the front 
porch steps of her house and stared across the broad field. She 
didn't move. Her lower back was damp where she leaned against 
the old wood, her long hair l imp and wet against her neck. She 
didn't bother wiping the sweat from her forehead. 
Far to the rig ht, from the d i rection of the h ig hway, Sarah 
caught sight of a smal l  dust whir l .  She watched it g row, then saw 
that it fol lowed the beige Chevy pick-up truck of her neighbors, the 
Gibsons. Without turn ing her head, she fol lowed the path of the 
truck as it wound its way through the fences and over the sma l l  
wood bridges towards her. 
The truck stopped and the powdery whirlwind blew past it, 
l ifting Sarah's hair from her forehead and fl uttering the hem of her 
dress. 
Becky G ibson jumped out of the h igh cab and bounced over 
to Sarah.  
" Have you heard?" she squealed. 
"Heard what?" 
"About M r. Conroy, from KBM Industries!" The chubby woman 
hopped from one foot to the other l i ke a ch i ld ,  her bare feet kicking 
up d i rt, the hem of her b lue jeans brown with dust. 
"For Christ's sake, Becky, stop bouncing arou nd, you make 
me d izzy." Sarah motioned for Becky to sit down on the steps, but 
Becky didn't notice and kept on prancing while she tal ked. 
"Sarah, KBM bought the Myerson's land last week. And KBM 
wants more land . . .  that's why this guy Conroy is here." 
"So?" 
"So? We cou ld  make a k i l l ing !  J i m my says KBM wi l l  pay fu l l  
market price. And you know we can't get that from nobody." 
Sarah stretched her slender arms and legs, yawned and 
looked away, past Becky to her own unplowed fields. 
"Sarah!"  Becky knelt down to face Sarah's gaze. She pushed 
her damp, black hair behind her ears and the smi le  disappeared 
from her round face. She said, "You know the way our land pokes 
into yours, no one, not even KBM, wi l l  want me and Jimmy's property, 
not without buying you rs, too. " 
1 5  
"When you r  g reat-grandfather bought the land from mine, 
Becky, that's the way they carved it up." 
"Yeah, wel l i t  makes our land worthless. If you don't sell to 
KBM, they won't buy ours." 
Sarah patted her small ,  round stomach, looked at Becky and 
wondered if she should tel l  her about the baby. 
"Answer me!" Becky stood up. "J immy'l l have a fit i f  I go 
home and tel l him you don't want to sell . " 
"I didn't say no, Becky, I j ust have to th ink  about it." 
"What's there to thi nk about?" 
Becky resu med her pacing. "You ain't doing much better 
than we are, and you l ive here a l l  alone. You a in 't turned a profit i n  
six years, ever since Garth died." 
" I  haven't tr ied very hard." 
"I know. It m ust seem impossible without your h usband. So, 
what's the point of staying? You can't run this place by you rself." 
" I  have Wes." 
"That drifter? Sarah, he s leeps in the barn and he tal ks to the 
horses more'n he talks to people. And he could drift off one day 
and then what?" 
Sarah sat forward suddenly and pointed to the barn, g lari ng 
at Becky. "He's no drifter! Wes has been here th ree years!" 
Becky stamped her foot. "So what' l l  I do? Go back home and 
tel l  J immy that you might not want to sel l?  That you think you and 
Wes can keep this farm going? Shit, Sarah, there ain 't no hope for 
you to make it work." 
Sarah leaned back again and said coolly, " I ' l l  th ink  about it. 
Tel l  that to Jimmy. I 'm not making a decision on the spur of the 
moment." 
Becky dug her toe in the d irt, opened her mouth to say some­
th ing,  then just turned, got i n  her Chevy and drove back to the 
h ig hway. 
The Church of the Disciples of Christ's recreation room was 
fi l led with people, and smel led faintly of barns and dust. Sarah 
looked around for the Gibsons, the only neighbors she felt comfortable 
with. Li ke her, Becky and J immy, in thei r mid-th i rties, were the 
youngest landowners in this part of the val ley. She fina l ly spotted 
thei r identically dark, curly hair  i n  the front of the room and headed 
toward them. 
Sarah came up behind the G ibsons and saw that they stared 
intently at a placard that faced the gatheri ng.  Next to the p lacard 
stood a smal l ,  weasel-faced man in a brown su it, h is  wh ite hands 
fidgeti ng with his tie, with the hankie in  h is  breast pocket, with his 
hair. Coming c loser, Sarah saw that the placard was actual ly a 
16 
map, a b ig ,  b lown-up map of the Central Val ley area they l ived i n .  It 
was laminated and had numbers written a l l  over it in red grease 
penci l .  
J immy turned, the legs of h is  metal chair  creaking under h is  
weig ht. "So, Sarah, d id you th ink  about it? You gonna sel l?" 
"I don't know . . .  that's why I came here tonight, to find out 
what th is is a l l  about." Sarah avoided looking  at J immy's red , 
pockmarked face. Since jun ior h igh school she had avoided looking 
at it. Turn ing away, she pointed to the map and asked what it was. 
Becky wh ispered, "It's got a l l  our  properties on it and the 
dol lar amounts KBM wil l  pay for them." 
Sarah stood up to take a c loser look at the map, but the l ittle 
man in front cleared his th roat loudly and raised his hands over his 
head l i ke a TV preacher. Everyone quieted and sat down. 
The man gave a dul l ,  droning speech about financial equities, 
escrows, stockholdings and annual  grosses and nets. Sarah thought 
everyone would surely go to s leep, but she g lanced around  and 
real ized that all eyes were on the laminated map with its i l legib le 
red numbers. 
The man stopped droning. "Any questions," he asked, "before 
we proceed to the actual cash value of the land in question?" 
The room was hushed. Sarah raised her hand and the man 
nodded at her. 
"Who or what is KBM?" 
" I 'm not sure exactly what you want to know." 
"Wel l ,  is there a M ister . . .  uh, M ister K, or B, or  M? What k ind 
of business does he do?" 
The man chuckled. "KBM is a large conglomerate, ma'am. 
That means a col lection of d ifferent types of businesses. As far as 
an owner, i f  you mean a Howard Hughes-type, no, there is no one 
man in  charge. KBM did start out as a smal l  o i l  d ri l l ing exploration 
in Texas, in  the early 1900's. Run by a fam i ly, r ight on their  ranch,  
not too d ifferent from you folks." He smi led, bared l ittle, sharp teeth, 
then went on. "They were q uite successful ,  went public, and over 
the years the company has expanded international ly. It now en­
com passes not only o i l ,  but dairy, paper prod ucts, broadcasti ng i n  
Texas, agricu lture, and  a new development i n  mi l itary hardware." 
"Why do they want this land?" asked Sarah. 
"He al ready told us that," said J im my, turn ing to glare at her. 
Sarah ignored h im ,  and said to the speaker, "You said you 
wanted it for development. . .  development of what?" 
"Wel l ,  ma'am, certain th ings must remain confidential in  the 
realm of big business. Can't have our competitors know what 
we're up to a l l  the time. Now look, we can offer excellent prices 
and if there are no more q uestions, please come on up and take a 
1 7  
look at this map. " 
Sarah had more questions but the rest of the crowd was 
interested only in the map. She sat sti l l  for half an hour, lacing her 
fi ngers together, waiting to get near it herself. 
Looking at the map, she easi ly  fou nd her land. The dog-leg of 
the Gibson's property, the part that thrust into hers, pointed d i rectly 
at the red number that represented her property value. She checked 
the G ibsons and saw in parentheses below their number, in tiny 
writ ing, the word "conti ngent." J immy's beefy red hand suddenly 
appeared and motioned to the map. 
"The prices are really good," Sarah m u m bled. 
"Damn rig ht. We cou ld make a k i l l ing ."  
"So Becky said yesterday." 
"What's it gonna be, Sarah?" The sweaty face poked closer 
to hers. 
"J i m my, we've got time. I want to thi n k  about it. " 
"What the he l l  is there to th ink  about?" J i m my threw his arms 
out, knocki ng over the map and its stand. " It's a good deal, damn 
good. You'd be crazy not to take it ." 
" I 'd l i ke to know what they're going to use it for. " 
"Who cares? Al l  I know is, they give us cash, and we c lear 
out." 
" I  don't want our val ley tu rned into some k ind of, I don't know, 
m i l itary complex, with jets and tan ks." 
"Ch rist, what an i magination .  He d idn 't say noth in '  about 
tanks. And anyway, Sarah ,  do l i ke us. We're gonna buy a big, fancy 
house up in  Sacramento. Live a l ife of ease. Just move far enough 
away and you' l l  never know." 
" It's my land, J immy, my parents' land. I g rew up here. It's 
i mportant to me what happens to it." 
"Jesus!" 
J immy turned to his wife who had picked up  the stand and 
was try ing to get the map to balance on it .  " Becky, are you heari n '  
th is? Sarah's getting sappy on us." 
" I  j ust haven't decided, okay?" Sarah repeated. 
J immy punched h is  r ight fist i nto the palm of h is  left hand. 
"Goddamn it!" 
Becky caught his arm, hushed h i m  and said qu ietly to Sarah, 
"You could ruin us, Sarah. Just th ink  about that," and she pu l led 
her husband into the dwindl ing crowd. 
Sarah pu l led her Jeep out of the parking lot a im ing it toward 
the ind isti nct, dark Sierra Nevadas on the horizon. The th irty­
five m i les between the church and her home were shadowy and 
flat. The small ,  h igh moon, though piercingly bright i n  the sky, d id 
18 
l ittle to l ight up  the road. The black sky and the i nert, si lver-
grey expanse of land absorbed the moon l ight and nothing was 
reflected back for human use. But the sky, so huge and dark, 
seemed to cup her in, crad le her to the earth. 
M i le after mi le, bumping over ruts, over wooden bridges that 
spanned only sand washes, dr iv ing deeper i nto the val ley, Sarah 
considered the offer. The money was good, fantastic. The temptation 
to cash in her land, to take the money and run,  was i ndeed entic ing.  
And Becky's last sentence rang i n  her hears l i ke a l i tany recited i n  
un ison a t  church . . .  "You could ru in  us, you could ru in  us. " 
Why did she feel any compu lsion to stay? Why was there any 
doubt about such a great cash offer? Ever si nce Garth d ied, she'd 
lost interest i n  making a profit. She let her f ields go empty, d idn 't 
plant anyth ing .  So, why was there some smal l  force hold ing her 
back, keeping her on the land? She smi led and thought of her 
baby. She pictu red it as the smal l  force, the t iny hand in  her womb, 
pu l l ing back on her, keeping her from making a decision to sel l .  
Sarah turned right through a break in  the  fence. She  was on  
her  property now, and  had on ly  four mi les to  go. She  relaxed, 
fee l ing safe i nside the charmed circle of barbed wire and wood 
that enclosed her property. She decided to tal k  to Wes in the 
morn ing .  If she could get h i m  to talk. 
To wake up  at 4 a.m. was the only chance of feel ing cool in 
the summer. Sarah got out of bed and put on one of Garth's Pen­
dleton robes, as much for comfort as for warmth. Unbidden, the 
thought of KBM burst into her mind .  She hugged the robe tighter 
and wondered what Garth would have done. He had been easy­
going,  had grown up in the area and everybody l i ked h im.  Garth 
was a prosperous farmer, ski l l ed and hard -working.  It seemed 
crazy to everyone that he died the way he d id ,  thrown from a horse, 
right outside h is barn. 
Garth loved the land as she did, but he had also been J immy's 
friend. When she and Garth married, J im my was the best man.  But 
also, when they married, they combined half of Garth's fami ly's 
property with all of hers. How could she sel l it, the prod uct of two 
fami l ies . . .  four generations each. 
By 4:30 the coffee was ready and Sarah began scrambl ing 
eggs. Wes came and sat the p ink  formica table. It always amazed 
Sarah that such a b ig man, with heavy cowboy boots, could move 
so s i lently, l i ke a ghost. She fin ished maki ng breakfast and sat 
down to eat with h im .  Whi le they ate, she told h im about the offer. 
"Why would the Gibsons want to leave?" he asked. 
"I th i nk  that to them it's so'me kind of ticket out of here, some 
k ind of ticket to heaven." 
1 9  
"Humph. " 
Sarah looked at Wes as he slowly wound h is fi ngers in the 
cu rls of h is pale, blonde beard, waiting for him to say more. 
"Wel l , " she f inal ly asked, "what do you th ink about sel l i ng? " 
" It's you r land. " 
"I know, but it wi l l  be your  ch i ld's land. I could sel l ,  buy a big 
house, with a ir  conditioning,  wal l to wall carpets, a house that 
won't get fu l l  of dust in the summer. That could be your ch i ld's 
house. " 
"Could g row up i n  town, h u h? " 
"Yes. Wal k  to school, see other kids after school .  Have easy 
chores, l i ke washing dishes or mowing the lawn. " 
"No horses. Or cows. " Wes got up  and went to the screen 
door and looked at the slowly brig htening ·, beige fields. "Sarah,  it's 
good to be raised up with ani mals. You know pain and death ,  you 
know cari n'. Makes you a d i fferent kind of h u man. " 
Sarah came to Wes and nestled against h i m  as he put his 
arm around her shoulders. 
"I l i ke it here, Sarah. " He patted her stomach and smi led. "But 
it 's not my land, so I don't have much say. lf  I was the kid,  I guess I 'd 
l i ke th is better than town. " 
Sarah stared at her fields. Off in the distance she could see 
the thin l ine that was the fence where it snaked around the Gibson's 
property. She closed one eye, held her finger up and traced the 
l ine against the dusty land. 
it? " 
"Wes, " she said suddenly, "that's good land out there, isn't 
"Damn good. " 
"And we could make it work, cou ldn 't we? " 
"Could try. Harder than we been tryin ' . " 
Sarah kissed h is cheek and tu rned to clean up the kitchen. 
Under the h igh  noon sun,  Wes threw hay bales off the back 
of the p ick-up and Sarah was raking them out for the cows when 
Becky and J i mmy d rove up  to the barn. J immy stormed across the 
yard to Sarah. "Did you decide? " he yel led. "Conroy's gonna leave 
tomorrow. He says whoever waits m ight get less for their land. " 
"I thought about it, J immy. I 'm not going to sell . " 
J i mmy grabbed the rake from Sarah's hand and tossed it 
away. He pushed h is  sweltering face into hers. Wes stopped h is 
work and stood at the edge of the tai lgate, watch ing every move 
J immy made. 
"Just for you, I asked Con roy what they were gonna do here. " 
J im my sneered. "He said it ' l l  be some kinda h igh -tech dairy farm. 
G row al l  the feed indoors or someth in '. So now you don't have to 
20 
worry about no tanks or planes on your precious land." 
"Good." said Sarah, "Cows make good neighbors. I 'm staying, 
J im my. That's f inal ." 
"What the he l l 's  here for you? You keep a worn-out bum as a 
foreman. You ain't tried to grow crops. You got noth in '  and you 
want us to have noth in '  too." 
"We don't have nothing . . .  we have the land." 
"You and your precious land. It 's worthless." 
"Land isn't worthless, J immy. It belonged to our  parents and 
their  parents . . .  " 
"Yeah and they farmed the shit  out of it and left it for us . . .  
useless." 
"Th is land isn't useless. I want to stay, to make it work." 
" I  knew it. D idn 't I tel l  you Becky?" J i m my tu rned to h is wife 
and shook h is  hand in her face. He looked agai n at Sarah. " I  knew 
one day the rich bitch would come out i n  you. One day you'd throw 
you r  money up  in my face, i n  the face of every farmer hereabl'IJts 
who wasn't qu ite so lucky as you, not qu ite as smart as Garth. You 
two with your  stocks and bonds and sh it. I never l i ked you, Sarah, 
you always thought you were better than us. You don't need to sel l  
and you're gonna let us suffer, let  us d ie, j ust so you can hold on to 
some godforsaken piece of d i rt." 
Sarah tu rned from J immy's accusing face, and looked at her 
fields. It wasn 't just a piece of d irt. She and Wes cou ld grow some­
th ing here, and she longed to see her land be productive again .  
She looked J immy in  the eye, took a deep breath and said, 
" I ' l l  buy those forty acres. Not for what KBM would have paid, but 
for what they're worth to me. That leaves you 90 acres to sel l  to 
KBM. You should sti l l  come out f ine." 
"Oh, thank you M i ss H igh-and-mighty. Becky, bow down 
and thank  the queen here for her generous offer." 
" I  th ink  we better take it, J immy." 
"She's gonna steal half our land and allow us to try and make 
money on what's left? You wan na take that?" 
"J i m my, l et's take it," Becky repeated, pu l l ing on h is  elbow. 
J immy tu rned back to Sarah. "Why's this such a big deal to 
you anyway. Why al l  of a sudden does th is land mean so goddam 
much to you?" 
"I 'm pregnant," said Sarah, defiantly. "My baby is due in 
December. I want i t  to g row up  here l i ke I d id ."  
"Pr-p-pregnant?" J immy stuttered. 
Becky looked at Sarah, then at Wes. "H i m!"  she said pointi ng 
to Wes. "Sarah, you're downright crazy." 
"Damn right she is." J immy grabbed h is wife's arm and headed 
back to the pick-up. "You keep your land if you're idiot enough to 
21 
get knocked up by some drifter. But you just better buy our 40 
acres. Me and Becky are gonna move as far away from you as we 
can." 
Wes went back to work, while Sarah watched the beige 
pick-up disappear into the dust that whirled around it. She stood 
still, putting her hand on her stomach. Soon, she'd feel the baby 
move. By the time it was born, she hoped to have young, green 
crops started in her fields. Sarah picked up the rake, getting back 
to work. As she pulled at the dry, dusty day, she imagined herself 
sitting on the front porch steps to watch her baby run, exploring 
the wide, flourishing, beautiful land. 
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