11 research outputs found
Lying in families: what parents think, what they do, what they teach about lying, and its association with other parenting practices
No full textEarly descriptive studies on parental lying indicate that most parents sometimes lie to their children (e.g., aiming to leave the child behind when misbehaving), or model lying to their children (e.g., telling someone they love a gift, while admitting to their child their dislike). Questions remain whether parental attitudes about lying and child socialization of lying correspond with parental lying to their own child and with parental modeling of lying. Also, parental lying has rarely been studied in relation to other parenting practices. Using our survey, we will address these questions for three specific types of lies (i.e., other-oriented lies, self-oriented lies, and action-oriented lies)
Parenting by Lying and its Parental, Child, and Family System Correlates: A Systematic Review
No full textBackground
The majority of parents admit to lying to their children to influence their behavior and emotions – a practice called parenting by lying (Heyman et al., 2009; Heyman et al., 2013). Various empirical studies have investigated parenting by lying and its correlates, to learn more about the families in which parenting by lying is practiced (e.g., parental socio-demographic and socio-emotional characteristics; family characteristics; e.g., Heyman et al., 2013; Setoh et al., 2022), and its associations with child development (e.g., child lying, psychosocial adjustment; e.g., Santos et al., 2017). However, because studies have not yet been synthesized, the literature lacks a clear overview of the current knowledge base and the gaps in our knowledge on parental lying and its correlates. Therefore, this study (part of Fami-LIES project, funded by an ERC Starting Grant – 949041) will present a systematic review of quantitative empirical studies on parenting by lying and its parental, child, and family system correlates. In this study we will use a broad definition of parents, including not only biological parents but various caregivers of children in the family context, such as stepparents and adoptive parents.
Research aims: The overarching aim of this systematic review is to synthesize and compare the quantitative empirical studies on parenting by lying in the current body of literature and to provide suggestions for progressing this field of research. Specifically, the research aims of this systematic review are threefold:
1. To describe how parenting by lying is conceptualized and operationalized in quantitative empirical studies;
2. To describe the findings on parenting by lying (e.g., prevalence, types of lies) in quantitative empirical studies;
3. To describe the findings on parental, child, and family system correlates of parenting by lying in quantitative empirical studies
The relationship between parental lying and parenting styles
No full textIn day-to-day conversations, people use lying – “to make a believed-false statement with the intention that the statement be believed to be true’ (Mahon, 2008) – as a social strategy to manage interpersonal relationships and achieve personal goals (Talwar et al., 2022). Not only are children exposed to this lie-telling of adults, but they also receive mixed messages from their parents about the value of honesty (Setoh et al., 2019; Lavoie et al., 2016). Although honesty as a moral value is highly promoted by parents (Talwar & Crossman, 2011), parents report lying to their children on a regular basis (Heyman et al., 2009). Lies told by parents to influence their children’s behaviour and emotions are referred to in the literature as parenting by lying (Heyman et al., 2009). This parenting strategy is used to protect the feelings of children or others, modify behaviour for compliance, and teach morals through fantasy stories (Heyman et al., 2013). For example, parents might say that there are no more cookies in the pantry when actually there are or might tell children their drawing is a piece of art or might tell them to behave themselves because otherwise Santa Claus will not bring them any present this year. Lies in other close relationships are often divided into either self-oriented or other-oriented (DePaulo et al., 1996). Self-oriented lies occur when the lie-teller’s intentions are to gain benefits from the lie, for example, when parents want to make a good impression on their child or keep their own secrets from their child. Other-oriented lies are beneficial for the recipient of a lie, such as lies, to protect child from harm or spare children’s feelings or keeping children’s secret. This category partially overlaps with the definition of parenting by lying. In our study, we add the category action-oriented lies which refers to lies parents tell to make a child behave better, to ensure that the child complies, to avoid that the child misbehaves, or to encourage the child to try something new, difficult or challenging. These lies are often compiled with other-oriented lies in studies on parenting by lying.
Studies in the USA and China demonstrated that parenting by lying is very common in the daily practice of child rearing (Heyman et al., 2009; 2013). However, to the best of our knowledge, the association between parental styles and parenting by lying is rarely studied. Previously, studies have investigated how parental style might be related to lie-telling in their children, demonstrating that a controlling parenting style is associated with increased lie-telling in children (Tong & Talwar, 2021). Only one study investigated how parental lying was related to perceived parenting. College students were asked to complete a parenting perception scale that measured the level of parental involvement, autonomy support and warmth they had experienced in their youth. These measures correlated negatively with the reported amount of lie-telling by their parents that college students reported (Cargill & Curtis, 2017). However, further research on how parental lying relates to certain parenting styles remains unknown. In this study, we investigate how parenting style and parental lying relate using parent reports.
Parenting styles
Unlike parenting by lying, the conceptualisation of different parenting styles has been a more thoroughly explored topic of research. Parenting styles reflect a broader pattern of practices and attitudes in raising the child and also encompass the ways in which parents respond to and make demands on their children. Three dimensions are considered core to parenting styles; acceptance versus rejection, psychological control versus psychological autonomy, and firm control versus lax control (Schaefer, 1965) (from here forward, acceptance vs. rejection is referred to as acceptance and psychological autonomy vs. psychological control is referred to as psychological control).
Baumrind (1971; 1991) used this conceptualisation to derive a fourfold classification of parenting style. Permissive parents tend to be more responsive than demanding. They avoid confrontation and allow considerable self-regulation. Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. Their assertive, but not restrictive or intrusive ways impart clear standards for their children. Authoritarian parents are demanding but not responsive, expecting their orders to be obeyed without explanation. Lastly, rejecting-neglecting or disengaged parents are neither demanding nor responsive. They show no support and may neglect their parenting responsibilities (Baumrind, 1991). The two factors (acceptance and psychological control) can be used to generate Baumrind’s typology (Schludermann, 1988). Parents who score high on acceptance and high on psychological control are allocated to the authoritative group, parents with a high score on psychological control but a low score on acceptance are classified as authoritarian, parents who score high on acceptance but low on psychological control are assigned as permissive, and neglectful parents score low on both psychological control and acceptance.
This study
Interestingly, parents who report that they are strongly committed to teaching their children lying is wrong are equally likely to have lied to their children as parents who report that they think that lying is sometimes okay (Heyman et al., 2009; 2013). The question of how lying fits into parenting styles, has rarely been studied. Therefore, this study intended to expand the limited knowledge on how different parenting styles and parental lying relate to each other. Specifically, we will investigate how different types of parental lies (self-oriented lies, other-oriented lies, and action-oriented lies) are related to the factors of parenting style (psychological control and acceptance)
Fami-LIES
No full textChildren learn to lie from a very young age. While many forms of lying are harmless, other types are maladaptive. What is more, the social origins of this behaviour have been grossly understudied. The EU-funded FAMI-LIES project (ERC Starting Grant 949041) will explore how and why parents lie to children, how this contrasts with what they teach them and how lying and moral dissonance relate to socio-emotional and moral outcomes for children. The findings of the study will impact various disciplines, aid evidence-based prevention and intervention programmes for parents and children, and provide foundations for further expansion of this societal and clinically relevant line of research.
The Fami-LIES project has received funding from the European Research Council (ERC) under the European Union's Horizon 2020 research and innovation programme Grant agreement No. 949041
Parental Lying to Children: A Systematic Review
No full textParents lie to their children, for example, to influence children’s behavior and emotions (parenting by lying; Heyman et al., 2009, 2013). The aim of this systematic review was to describe the current scientific literature on parental lying, including its prevalence, correlates, conceptualizations and operationalizations. Through an extensive literature search using PRISMA guidelines, 23 eligible peer-reviewed empirical papers on parental lying have been found. Many parents are found to lie to their children. However, existing research is characterized by a heterogeneous and narrow conceptualization and operationalization of parental lying, and a focus on problems. Following this, the current empirical evidence points mostly towards associations with maladaptive development. Following a critical analysis of the studies, future research should implement broader conceptualizations and operationalizations of parental lying in non-retrospective, experimental or prospective longitudinal research designs on maladaptive and adaptive correlates, to determine the significance of parental lying for children
Parental lying and parental control
No full textParental lying is common practice, but the link between parental lying and other parenting practices is understudied. In this preregistered study, the association between three types of parental lying (child-oriented, parent-oriented, instrumental) and parental psychological and behavioural control is explored using cross-sectional self-report data in 308 Dutch parents. Parents reported on lying behaviour to their own children and parental control strategies. Multivariate multiple regression analysis showed that instrumental, but not child-oriented or parent-oriented, lying was related to higher levels of behavioural control. Our findings suggest that instrumental lying is more common in parents with a more demanding and strict parenting style. Future research should shed light on the question of how parental instrumental lying relates to children’s behaviour and development and should further explore how different parental lie types relate to domains of parenting
Practice What you Preach? Exploring Attitudes, Lying Behavior, and Teaching About Lying among Dutch Parents
No full textPrevious studies on parental lying indicate that even though most parents think and teach their children that lying is wrong, nearly all parents lie to their children. Evidence from previous studies suggests a discrepancy between parental attitudes toward lying to children, their lying behaviors, and their teaching about lying.
However, this apparent discrepancy could be an artifact resulting from variations in the conceptualization of “lying” in previous studies. For example, some specifically focused on instrumental parental lie-telling or parenting by lying (i.e., lies to influence the child’s behavior). In contrast, others focused on both instrumental lies and lies to benefit the self or to benefit the child. Previous research has shown that attitudes and lying practices can differ per type of lie.
In this study, we aim to explore the potential discrepancy between parental attitudes toward lying to children, their lying behaviors (to children), and teaching about lying for three types of lies separately (i.e., lies to benefit the self, lies to benefit another, and lies to influence another’s behavior/instrumental lies). We will explore how these are related on the group level and within individuals
Practice What You Preach? Exploring Parental Lying Attitudes, Behaviors, and Teaching
No full textMany parents lie to their children. Paradoxically, many also disapprove of lying to children and teach children that lying is unacceptable, suggesting discrepancies between parental lying attitudes, lying behaviors, and teaching about lying. This study explored the alignment and discrepancies between parental attitudes, behaviors, and teaching across three lie types: other-oriented, self-oriented, and instrumental. Cross-sectional data were collected from parents in the Netherlands (N = 312, 79.8% mothers) and analyzed using correlational and Latent Profile Analyses. Between-parent associations suggested a general alignment between parental attitudes, behaviors, and teaching, with variations in strength depending on the type of lie. However, within-parent analyses showed that many parents exhibited discrepancies between their lying attitudes, behaviors, and teaching. The prevalence and patterns of alignment and discrepancies also differed by lie type. These findings suggest that most parents do not fully practice what they believe or preach, nor do they consistently preach what they believe, reflecting internal conflicts within parents and inconsistencies in moral socialization within families. This study not only expands on the limited understanding of parental alignment and discrepancies between lying attitudes, behaviors, and teaching but also proposes novel hypotheses of potential mechanisms underlying parental discrepancies, including parental stress, hierarchical family dynamics, and societal norms
Parental Lying in the Netherlands and United States: Shifting Perspectives on Prevalence, Frequency, Lie Types, and Cross-Country Comparisons
No full textParental lying to children is common. Yet, critical measurement issues, including lie frequency, variation in lie types, and challenges in cross-country comparisons, remain underexplored. This study examined parental lying prevalence (whether they lie) and frequency (how often they lie), overall and across lie types (i.e., other-oriented, self-oriented, instrumental). Additionally, measurement invariance was evaluated to determine whether meaningful comparisons could be made between parents from the Netherlands and the United States (U.S.).
Cross-sectional self-report data were collected from 109 parents from the Netherlands and 122 from the U.S. with children aged 6 to 16. Chi-square tests assessed differences in prevalence and frequency across lie types. Multigroup Confirmatory Factor Analysis tested measurement invariance, followed by cross-country comparisons of latent means.
Most parents in both countries reported lying, though frequent lying was rare. Significant differences emerged across lie types in prevalence and frequency. Full measurement invariance was established, supporting cross-country comparability. Comparisons revealed no significant differences in lying tendencies between groups.
This study advances the understanding of parental lying by highlighting not only its prevalence but also its frequency, while distinguishing between lie types. Findings also suggest similarities between parents from the Netherlands and the U.S. in item interpretation and general lying tendencies
Practice What You Preach? Exploring Parental Lying Attitudes, Behaviors, and Teaching
No full textMany parents lie to their children. Paradoxically, many also disapprove of lying to children and teach children that lying is unacceptable, suggesting discrepancies between parental lying attitudes, lying behaviors, and teaching about lying. This study explored the alignment and discrepancies between parental attitudes, behaviors, and teaching across three lie types: other-oriented, self-oriented, and instrumental. Cross-sectional data were collected from parents in the Netherlands (N = 312, 79.8% mothers) and analyzed using correlational and Latent Profile Analyses. Between-parent associations suggested a general alignment between parental attitudes, behaviors, and teaching, with variations in strength depending on the type of lie. However, within-parent analyses showed that many parents exhibited discrepancies between their lying attitudes, behaviors, and teaching. The prevalence and patterns of alignment and discrepancies also differed by lie type. These findings suggest that most parents do not fully practice what they believe or preach, nor do they consistently preach what they believe, reflecting internal conflicts within parents and inconsistencies in moral socialization within families. This study not only expands on the limited understanding of parental alignment and discrepancies between lying attitudes, behaviors, and teaching but also proposes novel hypotheses of potential mechanisms underlying parental discrepancies, including parental stress, hierarchical family dynamics, and societal norms
